the stars have always been my closest friends.
lighting the night,
hung overhead.
but you,
you shine brighter than any galaxy.
you are my stars,
keeping me company when im alone.
and when the sun arises,
i will spend every minute waiting for you.
i compare my love to the stars,
but my love goes beyond space for you.
my world was dark before you came,
and now;
i see fields of light.
Jun 27, 2015
Jun 27, 2015 at 11:42 PM UTC
i know why you don't like me
i finally understand
it's the handful of different pills
that i'm forced to take, isn't it?
it's because I'm crazy
and you know better than to get involved
because i'll make you mad
and that'll ruin me,
you know that.
i now understand,
and i'm sorry for that.
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 4:14 PM UTC
they put me on pills again
they said it would make me feel better
that I wouldn't be sad anymore
but the shaking is worse
now I can't leave my room
because I'm scared of dying
I'm scared of confrontation
because I'm scared of people.
I don't want to get hurt
and now my palms are clammy
face flushed pale.
inhale
every things gonna be ok right?
exhale
it didn't work
I'm not fixed
the anxiety is still here
and its eating me alive
my mother thinks I'm insane
and my sister is scared of me
I just want to be alone
but I need someone to hold me
to tell me that it's alright
when I know it's not.
the nice people in the white coats
said I would get better
but I blame them
this isn't normal
how can wanting to die,
but live at the same time,
be normal?
Apr 12, 2015
Apr 12, 2015 at 3:15 AM UTC
it's back
the sadness
it had been gone for a while
now it has crept it's way back
it snuck in my bedroom
and took what I had left
leaving me
in a dark room
abandoned
not a glimmer of hope
left
I will get it back
the happiness
and I will get revenge
I will be triumphant
one day.
Mar 23, 2015
Mar 23, 2015 at 1:53 AM UTC
I promised myself I'd go to bed hours ago. long nights spent wasted on your existence. the way you raised your arms over your head and stretched, the hem of your shirt lifting to see the outline of your toned stomach and the fragile lines along your hips. **** I'm getting carried away again. see? this is what happens, this is what happens when you're in love. you're entire life revolves around them. you begin noticing the little things, like how he stares at you from across the room when he thinks you're not looking. or how he will purposely touch your thigh, he will barely graze it but it will set your mind on fire and later that night and 1am you will remember and the burning will never fade. this is what it's like to be in love. your body is marked with reminders of him, his tongue is poison and he will hurt you so badly. love is not bad, but his love is terrible. and I cannot do it, I cannot sit here and have him caress me when I know his love is fake. he does not care for me. one day he will forget about me and I will still be tangled up in him. this is not what love is. this is not what happiness is. the sun burns now. the moon is my only friend, late at night, after he leaves, the moon is the only one left. how long will this emptiness last?
Mar 17, 2015
Mar 17, 2015 at 3:30 AM UTC
go ahead
leave me
you won't be the first,
or the last.
it's like everyone i've ever met
slips through my fingers
whether they're 2,364 miles away
or down the street
people just
forget
please, don't run away
i can't lose you
you're the only light
that i have left
don't go
Feb 16, 2015
Feb 16, 2015 at 1:02 AM UTC
you and your mood ring eyes
exploding in a kaleidoscope of colors
the shady brown erupts into hazel
green prisms speckled with stardust
and i am lost in your eyes
in your past memories
I can see every scar, every past regret
all the stories that make you
that shape you
and they're all captured in your eyes
the way they twinkle with delight
the solar system is alive in them
so vast and dark
lit up by stars and planets
and I am only a speck in your world
just a small fragment of love
barely shading your eyes
but I know I'm there
nestled in the back of your mind
for when the days are tough
and the nights are long
and you miss my mood ring eyes
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015 at 2:58 AM UTC
i always catch him looking away
his hooded eyes crinkling
porcelain skin turned blood red
his nose scrunches together when he gets nervous
we aren't alone
a crowded room filled with ****** music and cheap liquor
keeping us apart
i'm smiling now, look up, look up, look up
he does
its my turn to look away
i just want to talk to you
but this boy sitting next to me
is telling me about his baseball team
i keep looking at you
*oh ****
we've made eye contact
can you see my heart racing?
can you see it in my eyes that i'm in love with you?
this night drags on and i haven't spoken to you yet
but i want to
so badly
please
just speak to me
Feb 5, 2015
Feb 5, 2015 at 6:57 PM UTC
I tend to be angry a lot
and I find that my source of rage
is you
so I run
I run so fast I forget about the world around me
I focus on running from you
away from my love for you
I tend to be angry a lot
so I punch things
I hit so hard my knuckles begin to bleed
my skin turns purple and blue
I tend to be angry a lot
so I write
I write so much my fingers cramp
my back aches from being hunched over my journal for so long
my eyes red and puffy
cheeks stained by your words
and I get so angry
so engulfed by hate
but I still love you
no matter what
no matter how many pills
how many empty pages
empty bottles
I still want you
I tend to get angry a lot
and I find that my source of hatred
is you
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015 at 12:32 AM UTC
time stands still when I am with you
so I wear a watch to keep track
of all the hours I spend loving you
and when you ask me for the time
I don't glance down at my wrist
I look at you
not enough
Jan 20, 2015
Jan 20, 2015 at 5:26 PM UTC