the verbal conversation is low
but they’ll like it better
if you type it
increase the vibe
with a new visual
to hype it
so i can project something digital
be sure to add a filter
and then take a selfie
for my thousands of “friends”
so they can harness my insecurities
credit my edits
to internet ideologies
but can a website
give you an apology
block you
from society
or let you join their
group on one strict policy
take out the truth
stake straight fake fallacies
un truth the truth
renew the news
fit the mold
for for their categories
tweet the twisted facts
so now
can someone
please follow me.
Feb 26, 2020
Feb 26, 2020 at 8:07 PM UTC
no one said it was easy
you create the path
spread the base on
it’s foundation
you lay the map
it’s the grapes of wrath
life got a ghastly grasp
seasoned in your present
like your soul is wrapped
i pack the first for last
i muled some dimes and sacks
intricate in so much evil like
they like their snacks
i’m sober now
so that’s all in the past
but i slaved for many years
i broke its back
sedated lids
sealed like permanent naps
but awake with rage
anxiety pulsating heart attacks
snaps for the poetry that
kept me from going mad
claps for the music
that kept me from crying over dad
i work and slave just
to pay the tax
i try to keep one face on
so i can ditch the mask
i haven’t written in a while
i thought i lost my raps
but i guess some things
in life just always last
Jan 4, 2020
Jan 4, 2020 at 8:20 PM UTC
today
I sat very still
the kind where you can almost hear the silence. I could feel my heart alive in my chest. beating.
walk on. walk on. walk on.
it wasn’t easy
I had to crawl to get here.
a lot of time spent tip toeing
through easily depressing situations
I don’t do well with emotional upsets
slit wrists
like please don’t hurt me
palms curled to a fist
but I couldn’t seem to
escape
his body weight
some things you just can’t
undo
unlike a knot tied
and pulled tightly
straight like a line
testing for sobriety
I AM NOT
linear
but you are
just like how you
think the past
shouldn’t
bother
me
and how recovery
should be me
getting over
it all
can you really call
yourself a professional
if you have never
walked the line?
so.
please- try mine.
Jun 4, 2019
Jun 4, 2019 at 7:11 PM UTC
not many people like you
because you’re the type to
crawl
not in the literal sense
but in how long it
took to overcome withdrawal
see a lot of people have it
figured out
everyone’s sized you up
they want to seize you
trap you
inside a tiny plastic cup
some people like the way you look
others are afraid
beauty in your many behaviors
many faces
many legs
it’s incredible how intricate
you weave and toil lies
sinful in the way you look
all masked with butterflies
you have this thing you do
you spin them in all directions
then wrap them tightly
as a product of perfection
stressing over
pulling all the lines in time
since no one hates a spider more
than one they cannot find
May 8, 2019
May 8, 2019 at 9:37 PM UTC
I'm empty
hollowed out inside
I feel absent
never present
in my mind
there is a fullness
like the moon
that I intend my
life to be
into the depths
of whom I am
I wonder if
empty will all
I'll be
fill me up
just one more shot
something to dull
the hurt
when the hurt becomes
worse
I question my
self worth
pain and suffering
add up to make
me wholesome
and much fuller
I will be
when I relentlessly try
to fill up
my forever
half empty.
Nov 18, 2017
Nov 18, 2017 at 3:37 PM UTC
i wanted to tell everyone all
the beautiful things
i loved about you
all the things
we know makes you
steal my breath away
i wanted to spread
love and
warm embraces
as if i were using
passion to paint
over everyone's imperfections
like my world
was a canvas
and the love
were my shades and hues
that i could help
you to love yourself
more
and for all of them
to love others
this way too
to think
that maybe
this kind of love
could help everyone
to see more
types of beautiful in
themselves
Aug 30, 2017
Aug 30, 2017 at 6:21 PM UTC
my strategy,
for this life or the next;
is that the only thing
I'll ever need
is the solace
of my own
sweet solitude.
May 7, 2017
May 7, 2017 at 10:10 PM UTC
perhaps life is
sharing more information with me
about this sensation
than what was done
before with that "physical"
kind of
love// language
words are not necessary
when understanding the
feeling of vibrations
in which are
brought upon me
both intuitively//
and instinctively//
this feeling is//
love.
the same feeling I was
taken out of
that is now inviting me back in//
Apr 28, 2017
Apr 28, 2017 at 11:22 PM UTC
sometimes I wonder what it will be like
if I see another day
I wonder if this will be the last thing I say
and by the way nothing turns out
how it's planned to be
and sometimes I'm just out doin my thing
tryin to be the best version of me
even the memories raise issues I tried to shed
got too many issues trapped up inside my head
what pride and humility just might do
what praise the phase of bruises black and blue
how's the self abusiveness?
how the tired toiling in uselessness
no, I'm not impressed with the work I've done
his shadow follows me even when I tried to run
some things never turn out how
they supposed to be
I guess the only one
I can change is me
one by one I count the pills inside my hand
ones for the hurt I give myself
and one is from that man
I feel a choke in the hold
the way he used to grab for the gold
silly putty organs
and flesh that molds
molds to the palms
molds to the fist
molds to the tears
molds each time he hits
cold confusion
swept up into the night
I say I'm sorry
but i know it's just a sorry night
somethings don't turn out how they
supposed to be
I guess the only one
I can change is me
self worth is weighed
by the gram
0.5 for me
and a pound for the man
heavy sedation
it's crazy what you remember
while wake walking in a dream state
apologies for the bad dreams
and hide the good ones to escape
burn baby burn
his love looks like fire
it isn't passion
it isn't lust
it's nothing to admire
3rd degree emotional burns
the each skin is sensitive
so **** whatever's heard
the man might say
it doesn't bother me
it's only that it's haunting me
I wish he would change
but only I can set me free
Apr 19, 2017
Apr 19, 2017 at 4:11 PM UTC
in many ways-
he's just like you...
but it doesn't make me miss you
any less.
Mar 12, 2017
Mar 12, 2017 at 7:56 PM UTC