I have struggled well
Sanity is nowhere near
I can't help myself
Nov 20, 2013
Nov 20, 2013 at 7:51 PM UTC
Don't pretend, just be yourself.
When I hear these words I think of something else.
What comes to mind has completely changed,
The ideas that have ironically been rearranged.
Defined by anatomical studies and books on a shelf,
How, then am I supposed to be myself?
Nov 18, 2013
Nov 18, 2013 at 11:29 PM UTC
I miss the way you'd hold my hand in the cold and
tell me everything would be okay.
I miss the smell of your jacket when you'd pull me
in and hold me so close to you.
I miss your heart and how it loved me each and
every step of the way.
I miss how we'd never want to sleep but would
talk on the phone for hours like there was
nothing better to do.
Your sweet words.
Your kind heart.
Your ridiculous laugh.
What I wouldn't give to have that all back.
Nov 12, 2013
Nov 12, 2013 at 6:40 PM UTC
Punch in four little numbers;
One; seven; four; five.
The time clock begins.
Another day in the hell I'm in.
Will I survive?
Too many people to please.
Empty phone calls
Empty white walls
Insanity is awaiting,
Day, after day, after day.
Nov 11, 2013
Nov 11, 2013 at 3:04 PM UTC
How sweet the sound of amazing grace that saves filthy sinners like me.
Who are not even close to worthy of accepting the gift of God's love that is
Relentless;
Unwaivering;
No strings attached.
He died a painful death upon the cross to save lives like mine.
Ones that can't even resist the smallest temptations put before us, though we know the extent of the evil one.
Why is it that we cling to the things of this world that are
Evil;
Destructive;
Corruptive;
Instead of holding onto the everlasting promises of our Lord Jesus that are
Hopeful;
Redemptive;
Life changing.
He took a lost, broken, depressed drug addict, and chose me to do His mighty work; to build up His kingdom.
Not once has He said you're not good enough and you'll never be.
But he took the
Lost me;
Angry me;
Addiction based me;
And said "I'm going to use your story, for my glory, and I'll make you strong enough to resist those things."
For when I am weak, that's when He is strong.
Stronger than any temptation ivs ever faced.
And just like Nehemiah, "I am doing a great work and I cannot come down."
Nov 10, 2013
Nov 10, 2013 at 9:53 AM UTC
There's a little nuisance inside the walls of my brain
Oh the thoughts are driving me insane
I can't shut them off, nor close my eyes
I need to come up with a clever devise
Tricking my brain will be quite the task
I wish it would do whatever I ask
I just want to catch up on some sleep
But my thoughts are haunting me so deep
Congrats little nuisance in my mind
You're achieving your goal, one of a kind
To keep me awake and solely focused on you
I have no idea what I'm going to do
Nov 8, 2013
Nov 8, 2013 at 12:26 AM UTC
Why can't I just let you go...
So much heart ache and pain,
I don't think things will ever be the same.
It's insane.
Am I insane, for letting this all happen to me?
What's next to come?
The only thing could be a tragedy.
It has to be.
It's eating away at the inner walls of my heart.
It's worse than before because mine was broken from the start.
I shouldn't have let my wall down, I shouldn't have let you in.
But, I thought that you'd be different from the rest.
I've seen you at your best though,
Why can't I just let you go?
Nov 7, 2013
Nov 7, 2013 at 6:47 PM UTC