Last week my cat parsnips died. he got run over by a garbage truck. people say that cats have nine lives but parsnips musta had only had one.maybe if he was all black he woulda survived. I cried and I cried but mom and dad told me to shut my trap .parsnips is gone but one day I will see him again. I wish that I got run over by the garbage truck then I wouldn’t be alone
May 23, 2018
May 23, 2018 at 5:28 AM UTC
My cat parsnips has one eye I don’t know why
Mommy says cos he probly got into a fight with a dog
Daddies friends hate parsnips one time they came to our house with their dog.His name is gobells. gobells wanted to eat parsnips but parsnips is clever and ran up a tree and didn’t come down for a week . one time parsnips had no food so I gave him some left over pizza .I like left over pizza. parsnips loves left over pizza. me and him are best friends
May 23, 2018
May 23, 2018 at 5:26 AM UTC
Fish Child make a wish Child upon a falling pig. He's got short fluffy fur and comes from the starry south and like a wild Bolivian boar has a truffle sniffing snout.
He's got six golden trotters
and possesses a squiggly tail he
relishes red meat and guzzles down all American ale.
He answers to the name Burrito's and grumple's in his sleep
and he often dreams of visiting the Earths deepest deep.
So, Fish Child make a wish Child upon a falling pig.
May 11, 2018
May 11, 2018 at 4:47 AM UTC
Red balloon: Amanda Mustang
Amanda Mustang : yes red balloon
Rb: are you left handed ?
Am: I don’t think so red balloon
Rb: why not ?
Am: why not why red balloon ?
Rb: well, how come your not sure ?
Am: well I only use my right hand mostly
Rb: but you do use your left one too
Am: yes, but not as much
Rb: then I declare that you
Amanda Mustang is both left and right handed
Am: ambidextrous red balloon
Rb: ambiwhich ? Amanda Mustang
Am: ambidextrous means using both your left and right hands
Rb: then you are ambidextrous Amanda Mustang
Am: not really red balloon, both hands must be as good as each other
Rb then I will ask each hand Amanda Mustang
Am: don’t be silly red balloon.
for hands and feet and ears cannot speak, they simply are not alive
Rb: but you are alive Amanda Mustang, you began talking the day I imagined you.The other balloons say that you are not real, but I know you exist. Maybe from your point of view I’m made up and the other Amanda Mustangs would say “stop talking to that balloon Amanda Mustang, for balloons and teddy’s and cats cannot speak and balloons and teddy’s and cats are not real”
AM: I’m sorry red balloon
Rb: why so Amanda Mustang ?
Am: well for doubting your existence and I apologize to you too both left and right hands
L and R H: That’s okay Amanda Mustang, we forgive you
Sep 29, 2017
Sep 29, 2017 at 4:22 PM UTC
He's a an artiste and one wise son of a *****
he cares about somethings but doesn't care about the rest
can you blame him though, can you honestly ******* blame him ?
the world was his oyster but it gave him salmonella, it gave him an upset soul too, the **** thing almost corrupted him
he doesn't go out anymore now , he doesn't have to, he doesn't need to
he gets his groceries delivered from the nearest supermarket
he cuts his own hair and does his own dentistry
but he's a better dentist than barber
he bribes the roaches with Japanese whiskey and animal crackers
for fallout survival skills and he prays to the mouse God for forgiveness
Nov 11, 2016
Nov 11, 2016 at 4:26 AM UTC
Lock up war in a wooden box and punch no holes in it's lid, throw in tyranny, trauma, fear, money, misery and the politicians but don't forget the soldiers. But what about the women and children who stand idly by should we put them in too ? How about the East ?, how about the West ?, how about the whole god ****** world ?. So we'll put the whole wide world into a wooden box and we'll punch no holes in it's lid
Jul 20, 2016
Jul 20, 2016 at 1:32 PM UTC
Twas the last night of the earth
When I begged upon a star
not wished, hoped or imagined
but I begged like a pauper
crawling on my hands and knees,
whimpering like a dog
I begged for time itself to rewind
I begged for mercy
I begged for peace
and I begged for God or whomever
to give this race one more chance
one last shot to redeem itself
Twas the last night of the earth
when I beheld the blinding light
and as I held my darling tight
I kissed her
then I wished her
"Happy New Years Baby "
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013 at 5:48 PM UTC
She hung simple things from the bare apple tree, things like mirrors, ribbons, bells and bird feeders, things to attract the robins and the finches. But then the crows came scaring the robins and finches away, this annoyed her, this drove her to the verge of insanity.
She had an idea though , a terrible one, but an idea. She decided to hang strips of bacon from the tree , bacon laced with poisons, all sorts of poisons , poisons for rats , for weeds , even the type fit for human consumption. Poisons to make them sick, poisons to make the ******** fall from the tree.But crows are much, more intelligent than the average human ,the crows watched the fat lady, observing her murderous ways.
But only the finches and the robins fed from the flesh that dangled from the naked apple tree , only the finches and robins fell to the ground, only the finches and the robins died a horrible dragged out death.This pushed her over the edge , now she just sits and squawks to her self day in and day out, hiding from the flock of crows.
Mar 11, 2013
Mar 11, 2013 at 3:54 PM UTC
A is for Adam the Aardvark and his band the African Ants
B is for Broderick the bumble bee who thinks they are pants
C is for a cynical cat named Crusoe
While D is for Darwin the delightful deer
E is for Eric the elephant who always drinks my beer
F is for Fernando the Fox but in Spain he known as Zorro
He lost his wife Matilda last week and is now brimming with sorrow
G is for Gerald and yes he is a Giraffe
He wore odd socks last Tuesday and made Heinrich the Hyena laugh
Imelda is an Iguana and she is quite immense, though she is really old but has unstoppable sense.
Jack the Jackal has a regular name but he is an assassin and has a pretty good aim
K is for Kimberly who happens to be a kangaroo but she doesn't live in the outback anymore because she lives in London Zoo
Laramie the Llama lives south of the United states , he loves hiking in the mountains but one thing he hates, is being mixed up with Arnie the Alpaca.
Monty the Moose loves drinking maple syrup and playing ice hockey,
yes he is a stereotype but I am his Jockey
Nero the Narwhal is the unicorn of the deep, he loves scaring sailors and loves to sleep
Olive the Orangutan is a neighbour of Kimberly the kangaroo
but they have a plan to escape from London Zoo.
Pug is a Pig , just a regular pig, but he wishes to be ferocious and really big
Quentin is a quail and buddies with Pug, he likes eating sunflower seeds but never a slug
Ramon the Rhinoceros also dwells in the Zoo and is part of the escape plan with The red ape and kangaroo , he'll actually be the one to bust them out,
but to get his attention you really must shout.
Sylvia slithers, Sylvia is sleek if you were a mouse and saw her, you'd go EEK!
Terence T. Tiger is terrified, because he was asked to escape from the Zoo,
yes with the Red ape , Rhino and Kangaroo.
Ulysses is a horse who super glued a horn to his fore-head , he wanted to be the last known Unicorn because he heard that they were all dead. Vincent is a Bat, just a Vampire Bat,
he doesn't really like blood but is enemies with Crusoe the Cat.
Warren the wolf has many female fans but spends half the day with Eric the Elephant drinking my cans .Xenops is not an alien , it's just a rain forest bird, I'll give you more info as soon as I've heard
Y is for Yul and I don't mean the bald actor , this Yul is a yak but does watch the X factor
Z is for a Zebra named Zak and yes he does know the Yul the Yak , they were introduced by a certain kangaroo, and now it's their job to visit London Zoo
Mar 11, 2013
Mar 11, 2013 at 3:15 PM UTC
The bleeding hearts were on the street again begging on behalf of some man in Vietnam who sits in his hut day in and day out staring at the four walls, while his wife and child draw water from a well five miles away and I ask these ladies, is yet man a christian?, why yes they reply and is your God all knowing, all seeing and graced with omnipotence, why yes mister they cackle.
Then I says he can look after this man in Vietnam, his wife and **** child, but mister they said their voices laden with shock, you too are a child of god and it is your duty to help these poor people.Sorry ladies I said , I so ain't naive, so I left them and their pleas. I don't feel guilty nor do I sympathize for this man in Vietnam who sits in his hut starting at the four walks day in and dayout, while his wife and child draw water from a well five miles away.
Mar 11, 2013
Mar 11, 2013 at 12:53 PM UTC