sometimes it is hard to be a person
trashing my bedroom because
i lost my photo album
full of pictures of my dad and i
and the speeches my uncles made
at his funeral
laying on the couch and watching tv
crying when a character attempts to end it all
because i'm taken back to october
and the hopes of what would have happened
if he decided not to jump
getting accepted into 9/10 of the colleges i applied to
and having no idea what to do next
desperate desire to talk to him
or voice how terrified i am to my family
but trapped inside myself
it is very hard to be a person
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 5:59 PM UTC
am i ready?
claustrophobic, anxiety ridden me
preparing for the constant motion of the big city
the utter anonymity?
am i ready?
to move so far from home
drain myself of money
surrounded by people who actually belong?
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 7:58 PM UTC
romanticizing you was probably my biggest mistake
after all
you can't fix me and i can't fix you
two twisted, sharp wrongs don't make a soft right
i look into your eyes and see myself
and i hate what i see
Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 9:51 PM UTC
it's six am and we are cuddled on a mostly deflated air mattress
the air is cold and you smell like a mix of sleep sweat and alcohol
i don't mind it
you whisper to me in your rumbly voice
stories of steve
walking swordfish
chicken heart
you laugh when i tell you about the meatball i stole
when i imagine you now i don't see your face
i feel your untouchable safety and
wish you into tangibility
although dimensions separate us
i can't do anything but tell myself
you're right around the corner
in order to carry on
Mar 2, 2015
Mar 2, 2015 at 8:11 PM UTC
talk to me
just
please
talk to me
i am alone and
i feel insignificant
while everyone else is going going going
on without me
please just talk to me
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 6:43 PM UTC
holding myself upright
so i won't crumble
i lift my heavy eyes
and worn out heart
and carry on
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 10:35 PM UTC
she asked me how i felt
about parallel universes
i didn't know what they were
but she told me that
with all the hurt and confusion
we have now
there is another universe out there
where we are happy
and that's how she gets through the day
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 5:50 PM UTC
it creeps over me
and i always know when it's coming
you could say i invite it in
playing its favorite music
luring it with sleeping leisure
until there's no time left
and it grins up at me
and bites
Jan 4, 2015
Jan 4, 2015 at 3:11 PM UTC
its kinda funny
how i can create trees
of someone
and he can create flowers
of me
but our wires don't cross
and plants suffocate
nothing happens
Jan 3, 2015
Jan 3, 2015 at 9:06 PM UTC
i clomped down the school stairs
laughing over a vine with my friend
and we passed two boys crying
and teachers embracing them
and something chilled in my soul
i entered the classroom
dead silence
an empty seat
a rush of tears
blurs and abstractions
i can't tell the difference
between what is real
and what is a nightmare
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 7:44 PM UTC