I was there because I wanted to be
better men had given up their lives to save those they barely knew
this was war…everyone dies
no one could stop me
Better men had given up their lives to save those they barely knew
I had given up my life to save my own…which I barely knew
no one could stop me
there were demons
I had given up my life to save my own…which I barely knew
my life had already ended
there were demons
but I was not ready to die
My life had already ended
I was there because I wanted to be
but I was not ready to die
this was war…everyone dies
Feb 19, 2019
Feb 19, 2019 at 10:32 AM UTC
They were good to me; too good
I wanted them; too much
I was addicted to them
Her mother was a breath of smoke
her gentle grey curls sooth me whenever we met
she surrounded me with sense of comfort, a sense of belonging
I needed her, and she knew I needed her
Her father was the tobacco
his presence left a sweet taste in my mouth
he was always there for me; he never left me
I craved him, and he knew I craved him
She was the cigarette connecting me to them
She drew me in with her charm
her sleek, slender, beautiful body making me want her
I could hold her, and she wanted me to hold her
I knew my fate
I had seen relatives go and never come back
crumbled, destroyed never to be desired again
broken in half, forgotten, hated ridiculed, blamed
I knew my fate, but I didn’t care
They were good to me; too good
I wanted them; too much
I was addicted to them
Jan 22, 2018
Jan 22, 2018 at 9:23 AM UTC
I want you to hurt me
I want you to bring me pain
I want you to make me angry and sad and jealous
I want you to make me feel every emotion that I hide away from in the midst of the night, every emotion that makes me cringe and pray I was never born
I want you to chop off my head with the guillotine of confusion
and cause it to explode with the pain of constant headache
I want you to make my eyes bleed with tears of pain of seeing things I cannot bare to see
I want you to rip them out of my sockets with a swift glance of lust and squeeze them until I am not able to see a sliver of light in the darkest room
I want you to rip my ears off with silence and shred them with scissors of obliviousness
I want you to take my lips and burn them in the fire of loneliness and watch them wither as the skin crackles longing for an ounce of moisture
I want you to take my heart and stab it with the damnation of solitude leaving it broken and in pieces in the pits of a dungeon
never to be rescued, never to be put together and set free for all eternity
I want you to tie my hands behind my back with a rope of thorns
as my wrist bleed and struggle to simply touch the beauties of the world they long for
I want you to cement my feet into the ground until they go numb and turn black falling off where I once stood leaving to grow old where I lay to decay into nothing but dust and last only as a painful memory to the person who had to sweep me up
I want you to hurt me
I want you to bring me pain
I want you to make me angry and sad and jealous
I want you to make me feel every emotion that I hide away from in the midst of the night, every emotion that makes me cringe and pray I was never born
But when you ask me what I want
All you’ll hear is that I want you to love me
Oct 11, 2017
Oct 11, 2017 at 11:24 AM UTC