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ajkamaria
surrounded by conformists
3 untrue words. 2 fading loves. 1 shattered heart.
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May 14, 2020
May 14, 2020 at 11:10 PM UTC
countdown
I never know where I fit inside your mind, or if I'm even in there at all... that to me is an even scarier reality I think.
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May 14, 2020
May 14, 2020 at 10:37 PM UTC
where
you liked my body, yet rejected my mind. I craved conversation, yet you desired touch. I shared my thoughts, yet you shared unsolicited provoking pictures. you wanted secret hookups at midnight, yet denied picnics at noon. and yet, I still thought you were different.
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May 14, 2020
May 14, 2020 at 10:06 PM UTC
yet
yes, the sadness hurts      but it's better than being      numb.
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Jan 16, 2020
Jan 16, 2020 at 8:17 PM UTC
i'm fine.
will your heart belong to me.. or shall I always long for it? will fate push us together- as some predestined prophecy- or will it repulse us far apart- as some gruesome curse from nature? will you leave like a blade caught in the wind, or will you stay planted like a root in my love? will you look me in the eye and say those three words- holding me close so I hear your heart and smell your hair- or will you turn and hide your beautiful eyes from mine? will you stay for me.. or will you leave for you..?
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Jan 3, 2020
Jan 3, 2020 at 11:27 PM UTC
will you..?
i want to let go to jump into the void and catch my wings on an updrift of wind to feel the freedom of longing but the resistance and gravity of the thought of you is both holding me back and pulling me down. the thought of you restricts me from going, leaving, starting my life how it's suppose to be, becomes hope is demolition to a soul of love. notice how i said the thought of you. it isn't you, but my mind's imagination of what could be. the gravity of knowing i will never be enough for you pulls me down and weighs on my heart. i know it will shatter and i know i won't recover.. but it's a high that only your drug can give me. and honestly, i'd face this overdose over withdraw anyday.
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Dec 25, 2019
Dec 25, 2019 at 10:17 PM UTC
resistance and gravity
the light in your eyes is drawn away but the darkness of conversion to someone you don’t want to be society pulls and strains until the light is ripped in two and disintegrated and the dust is blown into oblivion making the darkness a monster of their own imagination you are filled to the brim with their ideas of beauty and normality and acceptance squandering any chance of revival and forced to live among the social rocks another victim of their rage and discontentment.
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May 14, 2019
May 14, 2019 at 8:36 PM UTC
another victim
built to be torn grown and then chopped, we are. set up in a mainstream world blindly unaware that acceptance is just an illusion with false hype of great importance. with conformists scared of 'insanity' and shunning as the cure for all fear, individualism falls. society mindlessly pushes difference off a black and white cliff to decompose in a sea of acidic hate. just for being content with our oddities, we are shut down like the ignorant. oh, how unfortunate we are to be cursed with a brain.
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Jan 29, 2019
Jan 29, 2019 at 5:46 PM UTC
individualism falls
we can love if you will kiss the needle just a little bit bigger- your image isn’t your most beckoning quality just a little bit thinner- we can sleep if you will follow just a little less brain- don’t stand loud love, it isn’t becoming just a little more tame// stand straight but think alike don’t stray or wander from the path ahead walk in unison and stay uptight basically, loveables are brain dead. you don’t belong here.
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Jan 18, 2019
Jan 18, 2019 at 10:53 PM UTC
kiss the needle
paint your words in the sky oh darling don’t let them shut you out cry out all your thoughts and scream your insanity for they can’t understand until they hear yes you’re different but truly beautiful you are and bright filled with drive and passion so paint your words as you would a picture and let your mind speak the chaos.
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Nov 17, 2018
Nov 17, 2018 at 11:33 PM UTC
paint your words