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Nov 7, 2020
Nov 7, 2020 at 8:45 AM UTC
Iβm merely a wallflower
Deprived of sunlight
Breathing the same air
In the same room
longing to belong somewhere
Anywhere but here
Whatβs the point in pulling me from my roots
When theyβre buried too deep
And are far too frail
For only I can aid my bloom
You told me to get some rest
I promised you.
But I canβt sleep whilst I'm afraid to exist
Dreams just give me false hope
But please don't let me sit through this winter alone
And at the end of the night
As you held the weight of my body
You asked me,
Is it repetitive? How you live?
And you watched
as the timid flower shrived in your hands
Apr 30, 2020
Apr 30, 2020 at 12:17 PM UTC
That time in winter wasnβt a lie.
Perhaps just a feeling I got.
I thought it was the short days dragging me down
But as the season changed, we stayed the same.
And as the air got colder, you asked me why I was too.
Dec 30, 2019
Dec 30, 2019 at 10:05 AM UTC
Iβm as weak as I am young,
I feel my skin under the sun.
Iβm wasted and loosing time
I want love but Iβm not fine.
I spend my days with little time to think
faΓ§ade feelings with distractions
when I thought the feelings were fading.
But its been about a month
And Iβve been sleeping badly
Still feel numb,
But I wrote a poem.
It was a list of all the things weβve never spoken of.
You know, people often say they regret the things they didnβt do.
And I regret jumping before the boat sank.
Dec 30, 2019
Dec 30, 2019 at 9:45 AM UTC
At the break of dawn, the world has never seemed more peaceful.
After the bleak winter night has silenced, the soft breeze fills the cold morning air with the unrefined scent of new life.
The fresh snowfall settles like a white blanket over the hazy alpine.
As the warmth of the winter sun begins to cover our skin,
I lay hoping we can stay like this forever,
we are so perfect as we are right now.
So, I lay as still as I can, pretending as if the rays have melted the world away from beneath us. Afraid that if I shut my eyes, even for one second, you would disappear.
Because I know this bittersweet moment canβt last forever,
the true nature of winter will reveal itself and the frost will secrete your heart. I know I canβt have you or expect too much from you,
but under the golden painted sky of this dreamlike winter morning...
letβs just stay like this for a while.
Mar 6, 2019
Mar 6, 2019 at 8:31 PM UTC
I didnβt need you to be the one to tell me that I will βfind someone newβ.
I know I was never very good at showing my intentions.
But then again, neither were you.
I just wish I could shut my eyes and things would be like they used to.
But when my eyes are shut
the dark space is flooded with memories of you.
however... itβs a vision that always seems to stray.
The fleeting kind;
A reminder that I could never make you stay.
That perhaps, this feeling deep in my bones
Telling me to trust no one,
Was so I donβt have to feel the pain of constantly being left alone.
But I guess you didnβt have a clue.
Because I still sit here wondering,
If there is a point in finding someone new
when I never really wanted anyone but you?
Feb 6, 2019
Feb 6, 2019 at 8:13 AM UTC
As I lay in a forest that used to appear in my nightmares,
I stare up into the stars wondering if there is life after death...
Because understanding life is equally as complicated asΒ understanding your mind.
Iβm just afraid that maybe it will show me that my doubts are much deeper than I thought.
And if I slipped and fell into that hole,
would I have to spend another eternity waking up alone?
Maybe thatβs why this forest no longer scares me;
because at least when I am here I can tell myself I have
something to go back to.
With each step taking me further from home,
I place my faith in the wind hoping it will
carry me into the warm embrace of your arms.
But I know that's not how gravity works...
Thus I continue to chase the shadow cast from behind,
because chasing dreams is too overrated.
So please don't ask me if I am doing more with my life other than sitting at home writing poems of my watered down angst.
As I spend my nights walking this forest,
I can't help but wonder how you have been?
if anything you told me was true?
And in the blistering cold of the night
I opened my soul to you.
and you said βokayβ
Dec 20, 2018
Dec 20, 2018 at 3:32 AM UTC
Memories dampened in nostalgia form a constellation in my bedroom. The stale air is muted with the perfect harmony of longing and angst. Perhaps this is just my insomnia giving me a reason to stay awake.
Oct 4, 2018
Oct 4, 2018 at 2:57 AM UTC
Despite intention, I allow thoughts to hold more power than actions. Maybe this is why Iβm find myself scribbling words of watered-down heartache...
Oct 4, 2018
Oct 4, 2018 at 2:39 AM UTC
You know, I read our conversations so much it feels like you were still here. A sequence of muted meanings that holds my weighted body from falling into something much larger than me. But that something is a square ocean that lay between us reminding me that the waves I send canβt quite reach your shore. Iβm just surrounded by a digital sea that makes me wonder how reflections in water could be so fake. But maybe if I had just poured my soul into the current and let it reach you, this artificial light wouldnβt make me feel so ******* alone.
Aug 21, 2018
Aug 21, 2018 at 2:06 AM UTC