airto - Hello Poetry

I don't love you anymore but we can still play pretend. I'll kiss you and hug you and giggle like I did when we were 13. I'll let you do other things too; I always have, I always will. Even though it feels like nothing. It feels black and empty. Soulless, heartless. Ha. Even lying I can still tell the truth. Can you? Can you tell me something true? Really true? Like the words we whispered in the dark, when my parents weren't home, when our bodies were pressed close, breathing and feeling like everything was alright. Quite alright. Too alright. Because it felt like a fake story being told, like a twisted and ****** up imagination groping at my tiniest desires. Poking and prodding them until they twitched like dying cockroaches under an eternal light. But bitter fairytales make sweet nightmares that you lull me away from with your soft words and gentle "I love you's" Well I love you too And we both know how much lies count.

0

Aug 11, 2012

Aug 11, 2012 at 12:21 AM UTC

l(ies)ove

I don't love you anymore but we can still play pretend. I'll kiss you and hug you and giggle like I did when we were 13. I'll let you do other things too; I always have, I always will. Even though it feels like nothing. It feels black and empty. Soulless, heartless. Ha. Even lying I can still tell the truth. Can you? Can you tell me something true? Really true? Like the words we whispered in the dark, when my parents weren't home, when our bodies were pressed close, breathing and feeling like everything was alright. Quite alright. Too alright. Because it felt like a fake story being told, like a twisted and ****** up imagination groping at my tiniest desires. Poking and prodding them until they twitched like dying cockroaches under an eternal light. But bitter fairytales make sweet nightmares that you lull me away from with your soft words and gentle "I love you's" Well I love you too And we both know how much lies count.

32

Fear. Haunting, crippling fear. At any moment's notice, it drags me under. Peeling away my skin with its rusty, gnawing claws All I can smell is smoke but nothing is burning Death fills my lungs and caresses the tip of my tongue It's all I can taste and feel and smell It's on my back like a demon It aches so much that my heart is heavy Too heavy with its pounding Everyday this sensation comes Every night Yet its origin is unknown and yet the fear still takes me I can't fight it I know I will succumb Leaving my life as ashes in the wind, On the tip of someone else's tongue

0

Aug 11, 2012

Aug 11, 2012 at 12:08 AM UTC

life = death

Fear. Haunting, crippling fear. At any moment's notice, it drags me under. Peeling away my skin with its rusty, gnawing claws All I can smell is smoke but nothing is burning Death fills my lungs and caresses the tip of my tongue It's all I can taste and feel and smell It's on my back like a demon It aches so much that my heart is heavy Too heavy with its pounding Everyday this sensation comes Every night Yet its origin is unknown and yet the fear still takes me I can't fight it I know I will succumb Leaving my life as ashes in the wind, On the tip of someone else's tongue

22

I heard your voice again. It broke me and new tears ran fresh from my eyes in long, painful streams. I could barely talk. Every word felt like an ice pick in my throat: sharp, deadly, and deep. Over and over, I felt like all the old feelings I had suppressed and surpassed came back in a gust taking me down with them, making me fragile again. I couldn't do it. I gave up. Your voice kills me too much, for too long. I never want it to pass through my ears again, or else it might end me, forever.

0

Dec 14, 2011

Dec 14, 2011 at 11:51 PM UTC

dolorous noise

I heard your voice again. It broke me and new tears ran fresh from my eyes in long, painful streams. I could barely talk. Every word felt like an ice pick in my throat: sharp, deadly, and deep. Over and over, I felt like all the old feelings I had suppressed and surpassed came back in a gust taking me down with them, making me fragile again. I couldn't do it. I gave up. Your voice kills me too much, for too long. I never want it to pass through my ears again, or else it might end me, forever.

24

Dear You, I miss my brother. I haven't seen him since I was 11. Five years. I'm turning sixteen now and he won't there. Another missed birthday. It hurts more not having him than not having my father does. He messed up. Big time. Too many times. And now he's paying for it. I don't know when I'll see him again but I want to. Today I found a letter he sent my mom. I tried to write him once. Back in 8th grade. The letter was returned saying that the address was wrong. At least that's what Mom told me. I haven't tried again since. I cry when I think of him. I cry more than I do for anything else. I know I have other siblings but this one is the only who left me. Who left me alone. It was like that whether he was there or not. Because of him I had no one for a really long time. And now when I need him again, when I need my big brother, he's not there.

0

Oct 20, 2010

Oct 20, 2010 at 3:51 PM UTC

Memoirs of a [broken] family

Dear You, I miss my brother. I haven't seen him since I was 11. Five years. I'm turning sixteen now and he won't there. Another missed birthday. It hurts more not having him than not having my father does. He messed up. Big time. Too many times. And now he's paying for it. I don't know when I'll see him again but I want to. Today I found a letter he sent my mom. I tried to write him once. Back in 8th grade. The letter was returned saying that the address was wrong. At least that's what Mom told me. I haven't tried again since. I cry when I think of him. I cry more than I do for anything else. I know I have other siblings but this one is the only who left me. Who left me alone. It was like that whether he was there or not. Because of him I had no one for a really long time. And now when I need him again, when I need my big brother, he's not there.

2

Sometimes I can't even comprehend the way I feel when I look in your eyes It cuts me to the core Leaving me begging for more and more Deep in my bones there is an ache For one gaze from you One fleeting look to end all looks If I should die with that in mind I would lie awake in my grave With nothing but deep rotting sorrow

0

Oct 3, 2010

Oct 3, 2010 at 5:54 PM UTC

?

Sometimes I can't even comprehend the way I feel when I look in your eyes It cuts me to the core Leaving me begging for more and more Deep in my bones there is an ache For one gaze from you One fleeting look to end all looks If I should die with that in mind I would lie awake in my grave With nothing but deep rotting sorrow

10

Dear Stranger, I don't need you anymore. I don't think I ever did. I wonder all the time if you were ever really there. As long as I can remember you were gone. All those years, nothing. It was almost as if you were dead. And then you appeared out of nowhere and things changed. I don't know how but they did. Then you did what you did and left again. What can I expect? Of course you left, you had your reasons just like before. I can't say I feel nothing because I feel too much. It hurts a lot and I cry a lot. I can't help it. Every time I think of you or someone mentions you, it hurts. I have one question though. Why were you there for the others and not me? I don't remember you ever being there yet everyone else has crystal clear memories and photos. I have nothing. Did you ever hold me? Because I don't remember ever being in your arms. I only have two memories of you but they don't seem real. They are too blurry to make sense of. I don't think they actually happened. Even though the thought of you makes me cry, I don't want you around. It would only make things worse. My heart hasn't hardened against you, I don't think it ever will. No matter what you will always be a part of me, how could you not be? All I want to say is goodbye. I doubt we will ever meet again. So long, Your daughter.

0

Aug 26, 2010

Aug 26, 2010 at 10:42 AM UTC

Letter to No One

Dear Stranger, I don't need you anymore. I don't think I ever did. I wonder all the time if you were ever really there. As long as I can remember you were gone. All those years, nothing. It was almost as if you were dead. And then you appeared out of nowhere and things changed. I don't know how but they did. Then you did what you did and left again. What can I expect? Of course you left, you had your reasons just like before. I can't say I feel nothing because I feel too much. It hurts a lot and I cry a lot. I can't help it. Every time I think of you or someone mentions you, it hurts. I have one question though. Why were you there for the others and not me? I don't remember you ever being there yet everyone else has crystal clear memories and photos. I have nothing. Did you ever hold me? Because I don't remember ever being in your arms. I only have two memories of you but they don't seem real. They are too blurry to make sense of. I don't think they actually happened. Even though the thought of you makes me cry, I don't want you around. It would only make things worse. My heart hasn't hardened against you, I don't think it ever will. No matter what you will always be a part of me, how could you not be? All I want to say is goodbye. I doubt we will ever meet again. So long, Your daughter.

4

You know how when you were little you would pick a flower and do the whole "he loves me, he loves me not" thing? Who would have thought things would get so much more complicated than that? That finding or knowing love wouldn't come from pulling a petal off an innocent flower. That plucking flowers wouldn't solve life's dilemmas and catch-22's. What would you give to have that again? To be able to decide what you want or how things are with a pretty little flower. I know I would give nothing. Life is hard but that is the way it is meant to be.

0

Jul 27, 2010

Jul 27, 2010 at 1:16 PM UTC

Plucking Flowers

You know how when you were little you would pick a flower and do the whole "he loves me, he loves me not" thing? Who would have thought things would get so much more complicated than that? That finding or knowing love wouldn't come from pulling a petal off an innocent flower. That plucking flowers wouldn't solve life's dilemmas and catch-22's. What would you give to have that again? To be able to decide what you want or how things are with a pretty little flower. I know I would give nothing. Life is hard but that is the way it is meant to be.

1

Inside my love dies It aches with luscious tears Creeping into sorrow's bed It makes its nest with woe

0

Jul 3, 2010

Jul 3, 2010 at 7:14 PM UTC

Unsung Sorrows

Inside my love dies It aches with luscious tears Creeping into sorrow's bed It makes its nest with woe

4

Secondary dreams of vicarious hearts bruise with the glinting of first light Showing the wear and tear of living another life Hands out begging for more they wade into the swirling masses of existence Unabashed by what is to come

0

Jun 9, 2010

Jun 9, 2010 at 7:29 PM UTC

Something like Odysseus

Secondary dreams of vicarious hearts bruise with the glinting of first light Showing the wear and tear of living another life Hands out begging for more they wade into the swirling masses of existence Unabashed by what is to come

6

The clicking sound of the car door locks is quite audible as we round the corner and drive through the city night. Fear doesn't strike the heart but it lives in the mind. It casts a long, dizzying shadow like a charcoal mistake staining the page. It can't be erased but lightens only a little. Its dangerous claws try to grasp at all it can latch onto. You may slip from its grip physically but Fear still has a hold on you mentally.

0

Jun 9, 2010

Jun 9, 2010 at 7:26 PM UTC

Nightlife

The clicking sound of the car door locks is quite audible as we round the corner and drive through the city night. Fear doesn't strike the heart but it lives in the mind. It casts a long, dizzying shadow like a charcoal mistake staining the page. It can't be erased but lightens only a little. Its dangerous claws try to grasp at all it can latch onto. You may slip from its grip physically but Fear still has a hold on you mentally.

1