ahnis-duit - Hello Poetry

Sometimes I cut myself to show that I don’t care Then I realize no one else does either, So I cut myself again. Sometimes I cut myself when I wish I could cry I’d rather see my blood drip, Than the tears from my eyes. Sometimes I cut myself just to know I’m alive I’d rather tear my flesh out, Than let your memories thrive. Sometimes I cut myself, to prove that I’m an atheist God is inside everybody, So god is bleeding with me. Sometimes I cut myself ‘cause I like the way it flows I wish my blood would scream on its way out, And let the whole world know. Sometimes I cut myself just out of habit There’s nothing I can do to distract me when, I think of how I let you win again. Sometimes I cut myself imagining my wrist was you Bleeding all the bad blood out, So I could start anew. Sometimes I cut myself deeper than I should Bleeding out all my secrets, Wading waist deep in my regrets. Sometimes I cut myself and whip it with a belt Pain doesn’t feel like pain, When pain’s all you’ve ever felt. And sometimes I cut myself again and again To squeeze in all the pain, Hoping to live one lesser day

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Jun 12, 2010

Jun 12, 2010 at 1:34 AM UTC

Constellations

30

I watch my blood swirling in the water I lick my cuts and reach for the plug The way you pulled the plug on me And as the last dregs of red Cling to the sink, I feel my convictions drain away Through the decayed insides smoldering, With the pangs of guilt. I pick up my blade again, To purge myself of you And as my blood rushes through the rat-infested gutters; The final bits of my aspirations falls Through this hole in my heart. The fluorescent light, Flickers in the grimy ceiling overhead, Like these trains of thought, That don’t want to end, but As the blood gurgles in the Necropolis of this rusted, decaying city I’m dragged away out into the polluted night sky Whispering of the words you’d put in my mouth, Blurring into the things I wanted to say And the pitfalls I step into, take You further away from it all. And I’m left gasping here with lungs full of dirt. And the blood drips into the water Like crimson blossoms opening up, A vortex of blank white Echoing of a happiness long gone by Haunting my eyes, Like the dried blood on my skin The stench of defeat wafts up the drains, Staining my hands with your sins. I look up from my trance into The ugly facade I’ve learnt to call my face And I clench my teeth at this deceit And all I get, Is this wretched wrist to turn my Dreams to reality.

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Jun 12, 2010

Jun 12, 2010 at 1:33 AM UTC

Aftertaste/Words and Bricks

I watch my blood swirling in the water I lick my cuts and reach for the plug The way you pulled the plug on me And as the last dregs of red Cling to the sink, I feel my convictions drain away Through the decayed insides smoldering, With the pangs of guilt. I pick up my blade again, To purge myself of you And as my blood rushes through the rat-infested gutters; The final bits of my aspirations falls Through this hole in my heart. The fluorescent light, Flickers in the grimy ceiling overhead, Like these trains of thought, That don’t want to end, but As the blood gurgles in the Necropolis of this rusted, decaying city I’m dragged away out into the polluted night sky Whispering of the words you’d put in my mouth, Blurring into the things I wanted to say And the pitfalls I step into, take You further away from it all. And I’m left gasping here with lungs full of dirt. And the blood drips into the water Like crimson blossoms opening up, A vortex of blank white Echoing of a happiness long gone by Haunting my eyes, Like the dried blood on my skin The stench of defeat wafts up the drains, Staining my hands with your sins. I look up from my trance into The ugly facade I’ve learnt to call my face And I clench my teeth at this deceit And all I get, Is this wretched wrist to turn my Dreams to reality.

39

Normal day Gone awfully wrong in a second, but I’ll take a few minutes If there’s no torture, where’s the fun in it? Suppressed emotions Never learnt to let go, in a frenzy, satisfy what’s inside Enter your dark home and cut the phone lines Hush, baby, go to sleep Don’t even bother to scream as I pour Hydrochloric acid down your throat Final breath Twist your head, look me in the eyes When I slash the jugular, see the fear before he dies Where is my mind? I don’t control what I do, Father forgive me Save me from these demons so ugly Intense pleasure Didn’t think mad men had feelings? Offer your blood, still warm; to the master of otherworldly dealings Crawl slowly away You are not dead? Maybe missed my mark Watch my trusty axe as I massacre Noah’s tiny arc Grab my wrist While you push me away, your fingers go through Pleasurable pain, opens up last nights wounds Very bad luck My old red truck, you’d like to hitch? Day after tomorrow, they’ll find your limbs in that ditch Let’s play a game Here I come! Can you outrun bullets? Oops not too fast, better duck before I pull it I am sorry Rest in peace, don’t want to hurt, I have sinned But you must pay for my folly, because I didn’t I really am nice Why can’t you see? I’d tell you my tale But all you do is beg, plead and wail Girl next door Looks like my girlfriend, happy-go-lucky, overfriendly Here’s a lesson, don’t talk to strangers, I can be quite deadly High pitched scream Block out the noise, cut off source Skillfully crush your trachea, without much force I am a ghost Where do I sleep? What do I eat? Blood’s rich in proteins, maybe a kidney for a treat Life and death Do unto others before they do unto you Why don’t you just give up living and walk in my shoes?

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Jun 12, 2010

Jun 12, 2010 at 1:27 AM UTC

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Normal day Gone awfully wrong in a second, but I’ll take a few minutes If there’s no torture, where’s the fun in it? Suppressed emotions Never learnt to let go, in a frenzy, satisfy what’s inside Enter your dark home and cut the phone lines Hush, baby, go to sleep Don’t even bother to scream as I pour Hydrochloric acid down your throat Final breath Twist your head, look me in the eyes When I slash the jugular, see the fear before he dies Where is my mind? I don’t control what I do, Father forgive me Save me from these demons so ugly Intense pleasure Didn’t think mad men had feelings? Offer your blood, still warm; to the master of otherworldly dealings Crawl slowly away You are not dead? Maybe missed my mark Watch my trusty axe as I massacre Noah’s tiny arc Grab my wrist While you push me away, your fingers go through Pleasurable pain, opens up last nights wounds Very bad luck My old red truck, you’d like to hitch? Day after tomorrow, they’ll find your limbs in that ditch Let’s play a game Here I come! Can you outrun bullets? Oops not too fast, better duck before I pull it I am sorry Rest in peace, don’t want to hurt, I have sinned But you must pay for my folly, because I didn’t I really am nice Why can’t you see? I’d tell you my tale But all you do is beg, plead and wail Girl next door Looks like my girlfriend, happy-go-lucky, overfriendly Here’s a lesson, don’t talk to strangers, I can be quite deadly High pitched scream Block out the noise, cut off source Skillfully crush your trachea, without much force I am a ghost Where do I sleep? What do I eat? Blood’s rich in proteins, maybe a kidney for a treat Life and death Do unto others before they do unto you Why don’t you just give up living and walk in my shoes?

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