Depression is a monster that no one seems to understand.
He creeps into your mind whenever he deems necessary.
You lay in bed at night, engulfed in thoughts, yearning for just one tidbit of sleep.
That’s when he slips in right beside you.
He stares back at you with a menacing grin, knowing that you have absolutely no way of escaping.
You feel powerless, lost, alone, and worthless. You want to fight back with all your might, but he knows that overpowering you is just too easy.
That’s when you realize that there’s only one option left for you, that is, let him take over.
He hands you a shovel and you start digging.
A deep dark abyss into nothingness.
A place where no one can hear your cries.
A place where no one else dwells, you’re just there, all alone.
He feeds you with thoughts that you’re engrained to accept.
You’re worthless.
You’re unlovable.
You’re destined for nothing but failure and misery.
You stare back at him, weak and tired.
Your eyes tell a story of hopelessness and plea. ‘Why me,’ you ask, so faintly and numb.
But again, he just looks back at you with a dark and feverish stare.
You know better than to ask questions.
Days come and go.
Yesterday the same as today, likely to be a do over again tomorrow.
You dream of something memorable.
Someone or something to rescue you from this hopeless fate.
A hand to reach out, grasp yours so firmly, with promise to never lose grip.
A weak smile emerges from your lips.
A slight glistening in your bright blue eyes. Maybe the day has come.
The day you have always dreamed of.
The day of escape. The day of freedom.
Oh silly you.
The monster doesn’t give up so easily.
Here he comes, returning once again.
You may slip by for hours, days, maybe even weeks.
But swiftly he emerges right back by your side. There’s one thing that you know that will always remain true.
The monster will never lose control of you.
Oct 31, 2015
Oct 31, 2015 at 8:01 PM UTC
I try and tell myself
"you're not alone,"
yet when I get in bed at night
my sadness envelopes me
rather than my blankets
and my head is propped up
by a monster of thoughts
rather than my pillow
and by the weight in my chest,
it feels as if the mattress is laying on top of me
rather than the latter
and all I know through this confusion
is when I sit up
and take a look around
the only person there
is me
and the only person who cares
is me
and the only person who understands
is me
and
gosh,
am
i
alone.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 11:04 PM UTC
Silently weeping
When thinking of you
These tears flow so freely
Nothing I can do
To brighten my day
I need a miracle
A sweet song
Something sorta lyrical
My heart
You have broken
My door
No longer open
For you it is closed
Everyone else can see
Just how much
You’ve actually hurt me
I’m sick to my stomach
Dead deep inside
I feel like I’ll live
If I run away and hide
Away from the world
Alone in the dark
Hidden beneath a tree
Tearing at the bark
Causing more pain
Is the only way
To numb all my pain
Away, so far away
Leave me
Dying is my wish
Only thing I want
Is one last sweet kiss
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 10:46 PM UTC