it gets to the point where you just
watch time escape
twelve
one
two, three,
four,five,six
seven
i can hear singing outside of my window
the birds are always happy,
those ****** birds.
please,ijustwannasleepnow
(12.27.2020)
—adrianatamara
Dec 27, 2020
Dec 27, 2020 at 10:36 PM UTC
my name
is case sensitive
adriana tamara
is how it’s spelled
sometimes as one word
and sometimes as two
but always as only lowercases
my name
is humbling
as it reminds me
that i am merely
one girl
against the elements
i am merely
one voice
muted by wind
my name
is empowering
she shows me
that my mouth
can never run dry
that my thoughts
can never go dormant
my name
looks small
compared to all of the rest
because i
am small
compared to the world
even in my own perception
i am too little
to know everything
to understand everything
my name
is my teacher
is my guardian
is my keepsake
& when i think i know everything
about poetry, about loving, about people
she humbles me
and i continue to learn
case sensitive
(12.24.2020)
—adrianatamara
Dec 26, 2020
Dec 26, 2020 at 4:52 PM UTC
In a universe where nothing could be everything
and everything could be nothing
I wake up blinded by the sun and my weak eyes struggle to conform
but her power desires me
In a universe where silence can ring ears
and actual sirens can calm them
My engine rustles with promise as I drive down the unpaved road
I am cement, and spill out of my windows into the potholes as I pass
Shadows of trees fold over behind me as outlines of roofs emerge
one day I’ll drive and count them all
In a universe where we worship time
but it repays by pilfering our youth
I make out silhouettes through the strands of my ***** hair
Your tie taunts me, perched confidently on the base of your neck
My fears in the flesh, enveloped in dark eyes and strong posture
one day I’ll face him eye to eye
In a universe where we long for love
but company deludes us
I eat dinner alone at a table for six
and stare longingly through one of my three big windows
My mom probably called but my phone’s been on silent
one day I’ll get free time and call her back
In a universe where nothing could be everything
and everything could be nothing
My pillow steals my thoughts for the closing hours of the night
and I ponder on how much of me it’ll return when I wake up in the morning
Solipsism
(10.16.2020)
—adrianatamara
Dec 24, 2020
Dec 24, 2020 at 10:07 AM UTC
Sometimes I wish there were two of me;
And sometimes I wish there were none of me.
I wonder, if I were to split myself down the middle clean,
What I would do with either side.
Maybe I would send my right side to school;
While my left side mellowed in poetry all alone at home.
Maybe my left side would fall in love;
And my right side love herself.
I think I would teach my right side manners; she would talk very properly, with her posture being straight and definite. Her hair would be braided into eight neat sections, not one strand being audacious enough to fall out of place onto her forehead. She would sit with her fingers clasped neatly on the lap of her freshly pressed dress. Her smile would be bold but not daring; with dainty dimples guarding her cheeks. She would be the most beautiful girl you’ve ever met. She would be the fresh dew coating morning grass; she would be the last sip of peppermint tea in December. That would be my right side.
I probably would be a lot easier on my left side. I would set rules but probably forget to enforce them, maybe. My right side would be jovial and carefree. She would wear neons and bellbottoms so wide they swept up every splinter she graced over. She would wade in the bog in August’s damp mornings and you’d be shocked when a splash of water touched her unkempt hair and the slightest curl would form under the frizz. She would love anyone aimlessly like the hopeless romantic she was; she would break hearts and she sure would get her heart broken; but she wouldn’t mind, a broken heart to her was nothing but a separation of phenomenal worlds, and in fact she missed revelling in the fiction of her own. She would be the weeds lining your back yard; every last one of them. The yellow dandelions that you would never pluck because you wanted them to grow into the white fluff that you could make wishes on. That would be my left side.
Except when reality hits, I remember I can’t split myself in two. So I guess my left side and my right side will remain where they are, being the prince and the pauper of my conscious thoughts. They might not be completely fiction; however, I know that because I’ve met them before. Sometimes my right side counts sheep for me before bed, while my left side smiles radiantly at me when I wake up. If only they could ever meet each other, I know they’d become inseparable. They do say that opposites attract, you know.
Two-faced
(12.12.2020)
—adrianatamara
Dec 23, 2020
Dec 23, 2020 at 12:30 PM UTC