adele-horn
South African
I tend to err on the dark side of writing, and reading for that matter. Perky and happy seems a bit bleh for me. maybe it's just the natural inclination of the chemically depressed. It maybe i'm taking the Emo thing a bit too seriously, or is it goth?
Broad-shoulder'd I,
stride amongst the ruins,
of what I had bled.
Brush off the ashes,
of love letters burn'd,
and dreams torn apart.
I clasp unto my own hand,
guide myself through the thorns.
You were not there.
I washed away,
the devices you left,
upon my mirrors and walls.
I took the punches,
display'd as trophy,
of my victory over grief.
I conceal'd the tear as it fell,
and smil'd like it didn't hurt.
You were not there.
Each day I float away.
Amongst the stars of forgetting.
Through the universe we marvel'd at.
Dissolving away my love into the cold.
I was the star that burn'd for you.
You were not there.
Jan 19, 2015
Jan 19, 2015 at 11:18 AM UTC
(2013)
my body is small
my ******* are unimpressive
my hair is without luster
my hips are not seductive
my eyes are not deep pools of mystery
my skin is flawed
my mind is addled
my voice is not lyrical
my walk is without grace
my words are not eloquent
my feet are scarred
my knees are bony
my piercings are skew
my nails varnish is chipped
my teeth are yellow
my nose is big
my wardrobe is uninspired
my job is meaningless
my libido is low
yet,
i love you more than i have words to declare.
is that not enough?
Mar 5, 2014
Mar 5, 2014 at 7:11 AM UTC
there was a place
where my heart grew
In a murky peace,
it was comfortably happy
But you ripped it away.
denied me my haven,
however broken it was.
And I bled for an age.
And my scabs became scars.
And my lips remembered how to smile.
And my heart ached for you no more.
But and but.
But then there you were.
My haven
My place
My murky sunlight.
There you were.
And we laughed.
For a moment,
I was safe again.
And I was oh so radiant.
And I was oh so polite.
A vision of Over You.
But when the rain came.
And you faded into the mist.
I cried bitter tears of Not Over You.
For the cherished hollow I miss,
is the broken thing you escaped.
Dec 10, 2013
Dec 10, 2013 at 6:34 AM UTC
Thank you
For thinking I'm funny
Thank you
For catering to my whims
Thank you
For being understanding
Thank you
For being a gentleman
Thank you
for caring
Thank you
for sharing
Thank you
For being honest
Thank you
For letting me be free
Thank You
For letting me swear
Thank You
For letting me be faithless
Thank You
For bringing me calm
Thank You
For making me feel secure
Thank You
For letting me love you
Thank You
For opening your heart
Thank You
For giving me another chance.
I hope I can make you proud.
Dec 10, 2013
Dec 10, 2013 at 6:30 AM UTC
this is where I am
I plant a flag upon myself
I lay claim
to me.
I know my face
I know my voice
I know the feeling
of my own skin
I have comfort
in the silence.
My spaces
are familiar.
I have found
that elusive thing.
The one that calms a heart.
It's called acceptance
It's called respect
And I cried many bitter tears
Ad my hands tore at my hair
And my grief tore at my heart
for the loss of a dream.
But the dream is over.
I was blind for wanting it.
I am calm.
Mostly.
Now that I know.
I hate you more than I hate myself.
Dec 10, 2013
Dec 10, 2013 at 6:26 AM UTC
YOU DON'T NEED HIM
YOU ARE COMPLETE IN YOURSELF
YOUR LIFE IS SUFFICIENT
HE WILL NEVER APPRECEATE YOU
THE WAY YOU DESERVE
HIS ISSUES ARE NOT YOUR FAULT
YOU DID YOUR BEST
Jun 19, 2013
Jun 19, 2013 at 3:30 AM UTC
numb
i live here
a hidey-hole
all my own.
i pull out the blankets
over my scars.
immerse my mind
in fake realities.
saturate my pain
in vicarious compassion.
pull the curtains,
so i cannot see.
the jagged holes you ripped from me.
Jun 19, 2013
Jun 19, 2013 at 3:28 AM UTC
Dear God
I know you are a crutch,
created by a scared species,
to make the dark nights warmer.
I know that millions of lives are spent,
in your name,
and of those other pray to.
I know people flock to buildings,
bruise their knees in abeisiance,
hoping for eternal life.
I know that millions fight for you,
thousands speak for you,
and none ever see you.
I know that the universe is vast,
complex and unknown,
but not created by you.
And yet,
it would be easy,
if I could clasp my hands together,
murmur words of needs longed for,
and recieve a miracle at my door.
Dear God,
If you had indeed been real:
Then the slavery of religion would disgust you,
your followers' grovelling would embarrass.
Teh demise of your word created,
would fire you into action.
To save us.
To guide us.
To teach us how to live.
In the absence of an allmighty,
all I see is a sentient species:
violent
greedy
hatefull
Bent of self-destruction.
There is no Divine in the **** of the infant girl.
Jan 13, 2012
Jan 13, 2012 at 9:03 AM UTC
I long for something
that was never mine.
Tha I had one of my own,
long ago.
And grieved for when I was young,
but pushed away when I was grown.
I long for something,
that had failed me,
took me for a fool,
a clown for my own entertainment.
I long for a word,
a kindness,
a hand extended,
a glance that would notice,
when I looked pretty.
I long for the warm *****
of a womanly form,
a fragrance I recognise,
of a wrinkled face with a smile.
I* gave away the womb that bore me.
I lost the one I didn't.
The only voice who told I was beautifull,
is now forever stilled.
Jan 13, 2012
Jan 13, 2012 at 8:58 AM UTC
what do i do
with the embers you left in soul?
what do i do
knowing how you truly feel?
what do i do
seeing you smile
but knowing that i am not what you want
what do i do
after the terrible truths
you said
you would not miss me when i had gone
you said
you could not fall in love
you said
you are not happy
i know these things
they live in my heart now
broken shards of glass
cutting, cutting
every day
knowing
remembering
the words that made me cold
the place i have
in your world
is not precious
or treasured
what am i?
what purpose do i have in your life?
nothing, seemingly
then why do you keep me around?
Jun 29, 2011
Jun 29, 2011 at 8:07 AM UTC