I was very nervous
This was my first time
I was unsure of my actions
But I did it anyways
We weren't that close
Just about right
But something inside me was off
I could feel it bubbling inside
We started to joke around
Innocent chatter
But as time passed
This feeling grew bigger
We went to a friends house
School work as usual
But something was off
She wasn't her usual self
Blood pumping faster
Sweat starting to form
My brain was still working
But my body loosing control
Beside each other about to sleep
My mind blurring
My body turning
My heart pounding
Her soft skin touching against mine
Silk black hair smothered in my face
Her figure was small, tiny perhaps
She fit perfectly in my embrace
Hands holding at the end
Tighter and tighter
I could hear our breathing
And hearts beating together
I was very nervous
This was my first time
I was unsure of my actions
But I did it anyways
Apr 1, 2017
Apr 1, 2017 at 12:04 PM UTC
Youre triggered everyday
I dont think you even care anyway
That whenever I try to explain why
You dont bother batting an eye
Youre quick to assume
So slow to say hmm
You always hit me
But never say sorry
When I do you bad
Punishment awaits
When the opposite happens
“Sorry my mistake!"
You never ponder
Why I always want to slumber
In my own world
That you always want to crumble
I came from your womb
Dont get me wrong
I respected you once
But now its almost gone
You give me blessings
I dont even ask
You show me kindness
Even though it doesnt last
I dont know if you love me
Even though you show it
But not once
have i heard you say it
Youre very kind to me
But hardly understand me
I dont know if youre for real
Or you just want to play me
It hurts to doubt
I cant say it from my mouth
My love for you is in drought
And i think its about to run out
I dont want to do this
It hurts mecto do so
But i need hope
A reason not to let go
To continue
Even though it hurts
To try
That My hope for you will convert
Nov 24, 2016
Nov 24, 2016 at 10:34 AM UTC
One day a bee
Was flying happily
By a meadow curiously
He saw a sunflower
Shone brightly
Bewitched he flew closer
To the beautiful splendor
Of which was simply was
An elegant little flower
They chatted all day
With no obstacles in their way
Until night came
Then everything changed
The peculiar flower had to go
But with no goodbye to go
She just closed up where she was
And not a single stop or pause
Sadly, the bee left
Leaving the flower he just met
Thinking to himself that time
I'll try harder next time
Nov 23, 2016
Nov 23, 2016 at 9:54 AM UTC
Would it be alright
For you to be by my side
For you to be my bride
To be with you, till the end of time
Would it be alright
To yearn for your touch
To seek you when I'm lost
To replace what I've lost
Would it be alright
To brush the tears off your cheek
To become your light when in need
To carry you and sweep you off your feet
Would it be alright
To finally hold you in my arms
To be able to keep you out of harms
And be your shelter in the storms
Would I be alright
If this were all true
But then I wake up
And realize, it was just a ruse
Nov 21, 2016
Nov 21, 2016 at 8:00 AM UTC
A battle always fought
To my heart's content I lost
My brain would rejoice in defeat
I would gather strength to retreat
Divided, I fight
In a pitiful plight
That no one even cares
Not a single cheer you will hear
Like a jester I joke
About my caustic yoke
I make light out of the matter
And every one replies with laughter
Proud of my achievement
I wail in disappointment
But still smiling I weep
For this to myself I keep
My last hope shattered
No where to be found
Like tattered cloth i'm worthless
Just some *** lying around
Clenching my face
I don't know what to do
I can't do anything
To stop this wound
Like migraine I kneel
Pray to stop the pain
A wall was my answer
Streaming blood my gain
Tired I lie
On the ground while I weep
But laughing comes life
With a deal that I must keep
To forever wander
In this forsaken world forever
To bear burden for no one
And cower in fear of others
Hopeless I accept
the terms and agreement
To lock myself forever
In this caustic life of terror
Nov 19, 2016
Nov 19, 2016 at 10:32 AM UTC
You may know me by name
But you dont know me by who I am
Im like a caterpillar gone wrong
I grew wings but my body is still the same
I was always a mistake
Nothing more that I can do
The fear that I would break
And no one to hold on to
I hate people
But im scared to be alone
I need help
But I shun everyone I know
I dont want to be a burden
It scares me the most
Good thing im never noticed
Im treated like a ghost
I dont need help
But please help me
Im flawed and ignorant
But please still save me
Go away you might get hurt
Please stay, im all alone
Youre wasting your time
Please youre all i have
You'll just be annoyed
Im soo sorry
Youre efforts are worthless
Please forgive me!
If you leave its fine
Another failed attempt
No one can help me
I wonder if someone can?
Im a failure
Why I am I like this?
Theres no hope
I never wanted this
Give up
Why?
You'll save yourself
Oct 6, 2016
Oct 6, 2016 at 11:51 AM UTC
We were friends
With normal everyday lives
We talked sometimes
And said our goodbyes
We shared some memories
And we had little history
But I was happy
That you were my company
You make me smile stupidly
You make me hum happily
You make me nervous crazily
You make me love you endlessly
My plan for two
They were me and you
To take your hand
And have your first dance
Take the step
Take your hand
Just listen to the music
While I lead this dance
The thought gives me jitters
The butterflies start to flutter
Excited as I could be
But I still manage to fail miserably
A dream that could turn into reality
Shattered by my fear of you rejecting me
We hardly talk now
We hardly see each other too
I wish I could've been better,
Better at being the one for you
Sep 28, 2016
Sep 28, 2016 at 10:02 AM UTC
Deep as the ocean
As vague as it's depths
Amazed at your vastness
Enthralled by your secrets
Mysterious as you can be
That no other eye can see
But calming elegance sweeps your face
An aura so cold but it makes my heart race
To know you further
You hit me like a charmer
All my efforts seem to blunder
Soon I realize i'm already asunder
You were the reason why I smile
little did I know
you were the one
who made me cry
But scary as you can be
I still want to set you free
From this dilemma that we call love
To finally finish this, once and for all
Sep 8, 2016
Sep 8, 2016 at 10:55 PM UTC
Lovely Silence
Fills my ears
Blissful dullness
Caresses my body
Tired Hands rest
Heavy eyes close
Drowsiness takes over
I go under the covers
Shutting down
I smile
I happily welcome
The creeping calmness
Neither dead
nor alive
but to a land
where you cannot discern
Aug 17, 2016
Aug 17, 2016 at 11:36 AM UTC
Another year has passed
Still the same as the last
I still hesitate to ask
I want to end this fast
From day one we were distant
We barely talked
I wish I wasn't hesitant
But you were tight as a lock
With each passing year
I Yearned for change
Little did I know
That I, should've changed
Like a schizm enlarging
We grew farther apart
Is what my mind would tell me
So that I would fall apart
I never knew her side
Mysterious as a feline
Blank as a paper
My mind would repeat this over and over
Puzzling she was
Harder than a rubicks cube
She would smile
And brighten up my mood
Regrets still linger
Of actions that could be better
A dance that could've been sweeter
Or a friendship that should've been warmer
She was everything i didnt want
But she was perfect in every way
She was something i could'nt understand
But I loved her anyway
Until now this situation is static
We talk but it doesn't get dramatic
We see each other, wave our hands
We say goodbye without sa glance
Though everything's over
And we separate farther
I just wanted to know
Before we say goodbye forever
Behind your mysterious demeanor
Was there any room to be your lover?
Was there any chance to share your heart?
Or any feeling that you wanted to love?
Jul 28, 2016
Jul 28, 2016 at 12:41 PM UTC