i think i enjoy pain a little too much. i seem to enjoy having my heartbroken. it's almost as if without the pain and hurt of heartbreak i cannot function. the words only come when i'm clutching onto hope and love and the memory of us. i guess that's why i love so deeply and freely because without love there is no pain, and without pain there are no words and without either, there is no me.
Sep 2, 2020
Sep 2, 2020 at 9:01 AM UTC
there’s a heaviness in my chest
one i can’t explain
there’s a weight
-pulling me
closer and closer
to the bottom
closer and closer
to
the
end.
Aug 11, 2020
Aug 11, 2020 at 11:54 PM UTC
i wrote about the beauty of his lips
and the lies which flowed from them
he's the type of man you can't stay away from
you know you need to
have to
want to
but can't
he's the type of man to manipulate first and love second
he's the type of man you fall inlove with
even when you shouldn't
Apr 17, 2020
Apr 17, 2020 at 8:13 PM UTC
thank you.
thank you for loving him
in a way i never could
in a way i refused
thank you for showing him
love is't meant to destroy
but heal
thank you for healing him
and mending him
and being patient
while he fixed
what i broke
thank you for being his anchor
thank you for never giving up on him
thank you for showing him there's good
in the world
thank you.
for taking care of
and loving
the man i love
thank you for helping him
thank you for opening his eyes
thank you for letting him know
love isn't selfish
and thank you
for everything you are
(to him)
Apr 17, 2020
Apr 17, 2020 at 8:13 PM UTC
it's funny how the simplest heart break can have you questioning your entire self-worth. like why not me. why am i not good enough. why doesn't he love me. what's wrong with me. it's hell. one boy has me questioning everything about myself. one boy has me wondering why no one will ever love me. one boy has me questioning if love is even in the world for me. how did one simple heart break and disappointment have me self-destructing this badly. how did i allow a boy to cause me to move from feeling like something to feeling like absolutely nothing
Apr 17, 2020
Apr 17, 2020 at 8:11 PM UTC
happiness is
nothing more
or
nothing less
than a figment of y(our)
i m a g i n a t i o n
Jan 18, 2020
Jan 18, 2020 at 4:55 PM UTC
and each time i close my eyes
it's you
in my dreams
in my thoughts
everywhere.
and each time i close my eyes
i can still feel you
the safety of your arms
the security of your warmth
i can still feel everything,
everything
except your love .
Jan 18, 2020
Jan 18, 2020 at 4:45 PM UTC
i want to explore
the beautiful chaos
that is your mind
i want to travel
my fingertips across
every part of you
i want to learn
the culture that is,
(loving) you.
Sep 4, 2019
Sep 4, 2019 at 9:49 AM UTC
" and i hope in the end it's worth every single sleepless night, every teardrop, every silent scream in the dead night air, i hope it's worth it all because people like you and me, we don't get happy endings, we don't get the rainbows at the end of the storm "
Aug 4, 2019
Aug 4, 2019 at 12:51 PM UTC
palms to my face. shame in my eyes. i can feel my heart trying to break itself free. i wonder if you hear it too. a caged animal begging to be rescued and freed. i slowly open my legs for you to enter. so slow i begin to feel the regret. it hit me like a runaway train. you sensed it too. you had to have sensed it. you ripped open my legs. and instead of entering right away. you sat there and told me how beautiful i am. as if i needed them to be sure this was right. only they assured me this wasn't what i wanted. but before the words could leave my lips. you forced your fingers deep within and smiled with satisfaction. as if to say, i'm moist enough to want you, so there's obviously no regret. it's too late to leave. you already started and before i knew it, you were finished. and without a second thought, i dashed to the bathroom to get dressed. then i dashed home like i was being chased and my survival depended on it.
Mar 28, 2019
Mar 28, 2019 at 7:54 AM UTC