when I'm down and when I mean really down, I become numb. I get lost in my thoughts and my feelings are caught in a tug of war. I want to feel something so bad and alot of the times the bad feelings are the best for feeling.
I'm on the brink of collapse.. The thought of relapse sounds so sweet..
I put a lock on my heart and hope that I'll keep the best parts of me together. but Im steadily losing my sanity, I begin to shake and tear up and before I realise it, my pent up feelings are slowly leaking and polluting those around me.
I know it's bad to bottle up your emotions but you know it's not easy to face the sadness inside you. Im not ready to embrace reality. I just want my emotions to go away or even die slowly...
Im tired of hearing my own thoughts because they taunt me and haunt me of the things Ive done and the things I've lost.
Death has seeped into my mind and his words tempt to calm the storm inside me.
-SS
Aug 3, 2019
Aug 3, 2019 at 10:27 PM UTC
when you hit their line, you really gotta think
you got their time? Think you're worth any one of their dimes?
up your word play because you might not be worth any time of day
foreplay? you go'n need that if you wanna hear em say it
there's no love without intimacy
no intimacy without chemistry
you wanna impress? best push your boundaries
think you slick and sweet, but where're your feats?
show your worth or get kicked to the curb
you want my love? earn it
please me? It ain't easy
show me your heart, your soul
show me your all and maybe partake
in a real fantasy of romance.
dance on the shores as the sunsets.
let the breeze give us goosebumps..
get careless and show every expression...
be calm in each others arms...
if we freeze time it'd be perfect...
so hit my line... don't waste my time.
-SS
Jan 27, 2019
Jan 27, 2019 at 8:08 AM UTC
You fill up, and also feel up
Urge to get closer, kiss and touch every curve
Push you down anywhere even on the ground
appreciate every detail, better hold on tight
my greatest addiction, a delicacy like honey
when our bodies combine together, imagine a star imploding. Its hot
have you moaning, bathing in our juices
and when its finally settled. l'll hold you tight and sleep as we nestle
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 6, 2018 at 3:45 AM UTC
Hey so this is out of the blue
But can I just say that I'll miss you
It was so much fun, I had so many happy moments
We were so complimentary and also a little dysfunctional
Despite that I was happy, but even though we feel a little ****** now
I know that we still have room to grow as individuals
Know I still care and hold you dear
So don't fear if you think I resent you
Because I'll still be forever vigil, to come to your aid
You've never done me wrong and I hope I can still be strong for you
I'll be there for you
Don't hesitate to call me
It's only fair
To appreciate what we had and are to be
So hey.. goodbye for now
We'll talk soon
I love you
Nov 3, 2018
Nov 3, 2018 at 8:30 AM UTC
It's calling me
A deep feeling within me and around me
Is this what I they call destiny?
Clouded by mystery and profanity
I find myself desiring a certain something
I am hesitant...
Maybe if I grasp it I can achieve something great
Greater than you or I
Don't shy away from greatness
Greatness in strength, beauty and passion
Master your own special chemistry
Explode into something amazing
And when you die, know your passing wasn't in vain
Through struggle and pain you can make history
Whether it be family or world history
You shouldn't hold yourself back to create your story...
Or many
Oct 22, 2018
Oct 22, 2018 at 10:19 AM UTC
You know... sometimes I just want to be understood. But most of the time I'm ignored and misunderstood. I just want people to read me like an open book, maybe its because I'm prideful, but I end up keeping it all to myself. I'm so doubtful of the people around me, I call you friend but I question if its OK to open up to you.. friend. Too many shattered friendships, broken trust and broken hearts. A life where relationships are turmoil, when things are falling apart, I know other things are falling into place. Sometimes you just need space to figure things out you know? But stay too long and it can be self destructive, emotionally and physically. People say I shouldn't worry about the past, but that's where I learnt the most valuable lessons and sadly, a lot of people take that for granted. Blood stained history built what has become our destiny now. Good or bad, I'm just glad to look back and appreciate what I know now. If someone opens up to you, just know that you have earned their respect. Appreciate every aspect of it, because once you lose it, it could be gone forever.
Oct 8, 2018
Oct 8, 2018 at 7:42 AM UTC
I write to you, to you my dear. I write now but I'll read to you soon, I hope you'll hear me then. I need to get it off my chest, words I want to express. I'll tell you three things, to express your worth to me. I hope you keep this close, to free up doubt in anytime of your life. I hope you think of me, when you read these three poems.
To you my dear, I fear that anyone who comes to know you, will discover you're true beauty. Not just looks, not just pretty eyes but a beautiful soul behind that lovely personality. I love how you care so deeply about me, seemingly so when you are troubled yourself.
To you my dear, I adore how kind you are. You see, I find myself smiling every time you do any small good thing around me. I appreciate your deepest qualities and your kindred spirit. Even when I see your inability, I can't help but adore and love you.
To you my love, the enchantment of being with you, are moments I enjoy most. Latent with so much love and chemistry, I cant wait to see where our path goes. I'm so fond of the idea of 'us', I wonder where this river flow will go.
To you
From me SS
Sep 22, 2018
Sep 22, 2018 at 7:44 AM UTC
Slowly saving
patiently waiting
email received transaction confirmed
item conceived, time contracted
a gift for one, many or all
a package surely to befall
a package arrives as the sun rises
it finally comes, joy
it fills us as we tear it apart "oh boy!"
help yourself, its ok to treat yourself
again save and order
await the presents that cross borders
happiness from innocent pleasures
isn't that a great treasure
Aug 28, 2018
Aug 28, 2018 at 2:48 AM UTC
sleepless nights, man these emotions ain't making me feel right.
one day I could be feeling my best, but the next minute I could be a mess.
Feeling ecstatic one minute and then fall into another rut the next, the cycle is infinite.
When was the last memory of a sweet dream? These few days I've awakened only to be covered in sweat.
Vivid dreams that torture me in my sleep and life that stresses me in my wake. My morale and soul feel weak, just how much more can I take?
I just need a break, time to myself and more time to write.
Maybe take a trip, run my fingers over every spine on a bookshelf and remind myself that I'll be alright.
Aug 21, 2018
Aug 21, 2018 at 10:08 PM UTC
There are things people want from me but can you not see that some things cannot be. I just want to be me, I write poems decently fast. But its so hard to spit bars. I dont want fame or glory, but with these hands I'll tame the expressions within me. Read my words imagine my world, but never see me in it. I'll share a new point of view, but only the open minded few can understand the work of hand, pen and paper. Is it a talent to write such raw feelings, only you, the being reading this can judge. Judge my words, my flaws and my ideals. Do I hit you deep in the feels? Do you relate? Is this fate? Maybe you and I are looking for our inner selves. It feels like digging through a book shelf. But as we age we find our greatest collection of stories and just as many worries. A pile of imperfections but there are still perfect moments.
-SS
Jul 19, 2018
Jul 19, 2018 at 8:31 PM UTC