Once again that day is looming
Your anniversary is near
As my heart skips a beat
And my head fills with fear.
A fear deep within
Bound by guilt, bound by hate
As I Stare at the calendar
At that last fateful date.
A date robbed of love robbed of smiles
Robbed of joy
Now a date lined with tears
For our beloved 'John Boy'.
As time counts the hours
And days turn into nights
(I promise with all my heart John
For you I still fight).
I miss you so much
I say over and over again
While minutes turn to days
And months into years
So I look to the clouds
For your presence is there
I whisper "I love you and miss you"
Through tears.
I turn over the calendar,
another year becomes the past
And my heart skips a beat
As the new minutes start.
Till we meet again high up in those clouds,
know that I love you and your forever in my heart.
Rest in Peace Johnny
Love always your big sis
Laurel ***
May 25
May 25, 2026 at 6:27 PM UTC
I wonder about the afterlife,
As it encroaches bringing fear.
I sold my soul many years ago,
Seeking revenge on those once near.
The questions are running rampant,
Round and round in this head of mine.
Shall I find my rest in Hell’s burning flame,
Or by the Pearly Gates divine?
Have I tried with all my heart and might,
To right the wrong things that I’ve done?
Have I made amends to those I’ve hurt,
Or is my life just a foolish pun?
What if there is no afterlife,
No heaven, no hell below—
What if we have just one life each
Nothing awaits, no afterlife,
no heavenly glow.
When my time comes, my last breath falls
Don't waste moments asking 'what if'.
Gather memories of our life and love,
find strength for your sad days ahead.
Now as death stands with sickle before me,
Calling my name—for its my time to go,
With finality I have answers to questions,
Life's last gift only death shall bestow.
Laurel Selby 5/2/2026
Feb 5
Feb 5, 2026 at 8:44 AM UTC
Fighting thoughts, fighting tears
my heart feels empty.
I'm drowning in concrete,
Yet the day has just begun.
Trying to get out of bed
when I've lost all my will,
Is like walking to the gallow,
Yet its morning still.
And so I close my eyes
To shut out the pain
Soon there in my dreams
Is where I find peace again.
As the clock ticks away
And daylight near ending,
My guilt burning inside
I get up, start pretending.
Now I'm faking a smile
Throw a laugh here and there
Waning life's motions
Its the cross I must bare.
Thankfully time slips away
Black of night has set in
I lay down, close my eyes
Let my dreaming begin.
In my dreams I am free
Without pain, without faking.
In dreams I am free
There's no undertaking.
In dreams I am free
Life's pain disappears.
In dreams I am free
I am whole I am me.
Jun 21, 2025
Jun 21, 2025 at 6:11 AM UTC
An angel in heaven
Sits high above
Longingly wanting
This life she was robbed
An angel in heaven
Sighs at her loss
As she silently watches
The ones that she lost
An angel in heaven
felt unimaginable pain
Forced by a monster
Treating her life with disdain
An angel in heaven
Turns and flutters her wings
Forsaking that life
Now her new journey begins.
An angel in heaven
Now filled with smiles and much love.
For those who shall miss her
She returns as a dove.
Apr 27, 2025
Apr 27, 2025 at 9:01 PM UTC
I breathe in sharp breaths
Chest rising then falls
Heart beating as fast
As this cyclonic squall
It's the waiting you see
That makes my mind race
It's the ever unknowing
South East Queenslanders
face
Mother nature holds vengeance
Maybe for all the wrongs we have done
She will hold us to account
Till her damage is done
Once we feel long waited calm
Mother nature's at peace
For our moment in time
Her destruction shall cease.
As we start to assess
and the clean ups begun
Alfred's fear becomes memories
With the warmth of the sun.
Mar 7, 2025
Mar 7, 2025 at 6:35 AM UTC
I wish you could see my thoughts.
To be inside my head,
When the world gets way too much
And I don't get out of bed.
I wish you could feel my pain
To know what it's like to be me
When life seems like death
And it's all I feel and see.
I wish you could cry my tears
To try to stop this endless flow
When my heart seems like it's breaking
And my life feels so **** low.
I wish you could forget for me
All the trauma I've endured
When the night goes on forever
And my mind is so obscured.
I wish you could be just like me
As I stare into my mirror
The hardest thing I have to do
Is to learn how to forgive her.
Jan 27, 2025
Jan 27, 2025 at 7:03 PM UTC
When I wake, I feel weighted
Weighted down,
Waiting for life.
When I wake I feel lost
Losing time losing memories.
When I wake I want sleep,
Sleeping dreams make it right.
Jan 9, 2025
Jan 9, 2025 at 5:39 PM UTC
A fragile mind knows born to lose
A fragile mind has internal pain
A fragile mind is forever anxious
A fragile mind has demons no one can tame
A fragile mind sees what most miss
A fragile mind hears the whisper of love
A fragile mind can dance to silence
A fragile mind knows of beauty within
A fragile mind lives strengths unmeasured
A fragile mind shall stand to exist.
Jan 4, 2025
Jan 4, 2025 at 11:36 AM UTC
The void of emptiness
The black of night
The sound of silence
My soul takes flight
The questions asked
The fights re-lived
The fact I'm broken
My soul takes flight
The love that's lost
The time unshared
The signs of stress
My soul takes flight
The tiresome thoughts
The preempt plans
The truth of loneliness
My soul takes flight
Foretold is a saying that holds the control
They say when in trauma your soul just knows
To stop all the thoughts running round in your head,
To protect oneself mentally so you don't wind up dead.
Your soul chooses for you fight or flight as they say,
So I sit and I wait for the choice of the day.
For so many years the choice was to fight,
Leaving me tired and empty all day and all night.
My soul wears the scars so deep yet so clear,
Fight or flight brings me loneliness,
My one deepest fear.
Laurel Selby
01/01/2025
Jan 1, 2025
Jan 1, 2025 at 6:44 PM UTC
Spotify
Discman
Walkman and Boombox
Four things in common
Is the music they play
Songs that you love
Loop over and over again
Songs to uplift, songs to mend hearts
Songs you can headbang to or move all body parts.
Music you play all to yourself,
No need to be embarrassed when it's only oneself.
To dream, sing and dance no rules to abide
Feeling that beat down deep inside
Ohh how the world so easily disappears
As soon as I place these phones in my ears...
6/7/24
Dec 3, 2024
Dec 3, 2024 at 6:15 PM UTC