The best thing about hangman
Is that it teaches you that saying the wrong thing
Can end soneone's life.
Apr 8, 2018
Apr 8, 2018 at 12:09 AM UTC
Good Enough
Why is it that when it comes to work-
Schoolwork, housework, any work-
That good enough is never enough?
But when it comes to me,
Good enough is all I ever wanted to be.
............................................................................................................................ What's the Point?
What's the point of faking, saying, "I'm fine,"
If I'm not even gonna act like it?
............................................................................................................................
Apr 7, 2018
Apr 7, 2018 at 9:58 PM UTC
How do I tell you that
Sometimes I just really wanna die?
I don't even know
How I'm gonna get by
Just for one day
I wanna be okay.
But Mama don't be scared
I'm not going anywhere
I'll be here for you
I'll find a way to get through
Every single day
that I'm not okay.
I once cut my arm
Only time I ever did self-harm
Tryna keep my promise
that I wouldn't
But that day I just couldn't
But Mama don't be scared
I'm not going anywhere
I'll be here for you
I'll find a way to get through
Every single day
that I'm not okay.
But Mama don't be scared
I'm not going anywhere
I'll be here for you
I'll find a way to get through
Every single day
that I'm not okay.
One day I told my best friend
That surely this was the end
I feel like I'm dying
But honestly I'm trying
And Mama don't be scared
I'm not going anywhere
I'll be here for you
I'll find a way to get through
Every single day
that I'm not okay.
But Mama don't be scared
I'm not going anywhere
I'll be here for you
I'll find a way to get through
Every single day
that I'm not okay.
Apr 6, 2018
Apr 6, 2018 at 10:25 PM UTC
I'm sick of crying
Tired of trying
Yes, I'm smiling
But inside I'm dying
Mar 30, 2018
Mar 30, 2018 at 2:10 AM UTC
My depression is a shapeshifter.
One day it is as small as a firefly
In the palm of a bear.
The next day,
It is the bear.
On those days,
I play dead until the bear leaves me alone
Mar 30, 2018
Mar 30, 2018 at 1:13 AM UTC
Weak.
Broken.
Over-sensitive.
Crybaby.
Nobody.
Unimportant.
Beautiful.
Intelligent.
Caring.
Talented.
Amazing.
Balanced.
Words.
They can hurt.
They can heal.
Make the right choice when using them.
Mar 29, 2018
Mar 29, 2018 at 12:15 AM UTC
I find a way to relate anything and everything to home.
Oh look, it's a bag of chips.
I used to eat chips at home.
Oh look, it's a pencil.
I used to use pencils at home.
And each time it makes me cry.
Someone passes by me wearing perfume that smells like Mom's,
I start crying.
I see the words mom, dad, parents, home, family,
I start crying.
Am I just a crybaby?
Or am I allowed to feel sorry for myself once in a while?
Because if you were in my place, you would too.
Anyone would.
Don't deny it.
Please just let me feel sorry for myself now.
Don't call me weak.
Don't call me over-sensitive.
Don't call me a baby.
Don't tell me to cheer up.
Don't tell me to focus on the good.
Don't tell me to shut up.
Don't say I'll be okay.
Don't say it'll all be over soon.
Don't say I'll get over it.
Just let me cry.
Mar 28, 2018
Mar 28, 2018 at 2:43 AM UTC
I know now why it's so hard to fall asleep.
It's because falling asleep is an escape.
An escape from reality.
And to escape is hard.
I know now why it's so hard to fall asleep.
It's because falling asleep is like a free trial.
A free trial of death.
And there's always a catch to free trials.
Mar 22, 2018
Mar 22, 2018 at 2:37 AM UTC
How do I explain?
How do I explain to my mom and my dad?
How do I explain that sometimes I want to die?
I don't.
I hide it all and
Pretend that I'm okay.
How do I explain?
How do I explain to my best friend?
How do I explain why I'm not okay?
I don't.
I just pretend to laugh and
Smile through the pain.
How do I explain?
How do I explain to my therapist?
How do I explain that digging up those memories of
When I was younger
And free
Of the pain
Only makes it worse?
I don't.
I stay silent and
Stare blankly around her office.
How do I explain?
How do I explain to my sisters?
How do I explain why the spark is gone from my eyes?
I don't.
I try to hide it with my glasses and
It never works.
Mar 11, 2018
Mar 11, 2018 at 7:19 PM UTC
Who am I?
Am I who I used to be?
Am I who I'll become?
I can say one thing for sure.
I'm not who I was.
I never used to have to cry myself to sleep before all this started.
I never used to have to talk myself down
When I just wanted it to end.
I never even wanted it to end.
That still leaves that open-ended question: Who am I?
I've lost myself.
I've not only lost myself,
I've lost everyone I ever loved.
Back to the questions.
Am I who you want me to be?
Am I who I want to be?
Am I just a machine to be reset and programmed,
Over and over again?
I've found myself.
I am an imprint of the pain
I inflicted upon myself by thinking these thoughts.
I am just a machine that doesn't think for itself.
To be reset and reprogrammed
Over and over again.
Mar 10, 2018
Mar 10, 2018 at 9:56 PM UTC