I am loved, aren't I? This is all real, right?
I keep wondering and wondering in silence,
Praying for an answer that will satisfy my uneasy heart,
Curling my knees to my chest just to ease the pain.
Why are my emotions so rampant?
Why is my anxiety crippling my ability to feel happiness once again?
My gut tells me this fairytale of mine is nothing but temporary,
And that I should just accept it.
Why is every fiber of my being rejecting you,
When you're the only person to come this close to me
Not just physically, but to every aspect of who I am?
Am I so damaged that all the cracks are showing through?
The ones I hid behind the facade of my perfect persona.
The bandages I applied can no longer hold me together.
Should I listen to the voices in my head?
Or will you save me from this damnation,
Formed by a limbo of bitter events I was forced to endure?
Yet the thought rises: Why am I asking you to save me?
Am I not used to saying, "I can save myself, I can handle this on my own, don't worry, I'm fine,"
Flashing a smile as I tape up my own wounds?
Maybe I am worthy of love.
It's just that, right now,
I am too broken by other people, and my own expectations
To function the way I should.
My dream was a wake-up call.
It was you, shouting at me, telling me you'd had enough.
I think, from that moment, I accepted reality.
I grew so used to people treating me unkindly that it became my trauma
A familiar dark place where I strangely find comfort.
It's twisted, I know.
But I don't think I have enough sanity left to endure one more disappointment.
Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 8:14 AM UTC
I want to scream until my lungs give out,
collapse on the floor,
tear off this paper-thin smile
and spit out the lie of “romanticizing life.”
“It’s just you and me again,” I mutter,
staring at the mirror, a blank, colorless canvas.
Eyes hollow, face streaked with tears and a half-formed grin.
F*ck, you’re unbearable. I want to punch you so bad.
If I stop, is it release or just cowardice?
The thought drifts away like smoke.
I drag myself upright,
patching the cracks with silence,
fastening the mask once more.
The mirror waits,
its hollow twin whispering,
“If not you, then who?”
breath heavy, fingers trembling on the doorknob.
Feeding myself lies before stepping out.
“It’ll get better…” I promise myself
like a broken prayer
time and time
and time
again.
Oct 2, 2025
Oct 2, 2025 at 4:36 AM UTC
The sky is dark and gray,
with little hints of fading rays.
My jeans are soaked from the stubborn rain
as I move through traffic’s lane.
Loneliness hums in quiet loops,
My mind rewinds old nested truths.
Perhaps this weather fits me well,
I mutter low, with no one to tell.
I too reach out for something true.
To hold, to keep, to carry through.
To feel, to fly, to simply be,
Like wind-swept grass that runs with me.
And maybe hope’s still in my chest.
A part of me that never left.
Jul 27, 2025
Jul 27, 2025 at 1:24 AM UTC
I wander endlessly through time,
Searching for the meaning I've yet to find.
Rekindling the quiet flame within me
A small hand slipped into mine,
As I was caught in a moment of cacophony
The younger me, smiling with bucktooth wonder.
I nodded, swallowed my doubts, and pressed on.
"We'll find it soon buddy. Thank you for waiting. "
Jan 26, 2025
Jan 26, 2025 at 1:33 PM UTC
I don’t know anymore, how to feel something again
Feels like I’m drifting, lost in outer space, to god knows where
Unanchored from everything, yet my chest is heavy, eyes are lifeless
Each day repeats itself, every conversation feels hollow, insincere
I bury myself in work, not to build, but to forget
Laughter doesn’t echo, smiles barely stretch, just motions
And if I disappear, would it really matter?
It’s not selfish, just silent. Space swallows sound, and maybe it swallows me too.
In this silence, I lay dormant—
I no longer expect anymore.
There’s no pull, no push, just a vast, empty stretch.
The stars hang motionless, indifferent
and I’m no different
Sep 14, 2024
Sep 14, 2024 at 2:54 PM UTC
On empty streets where shadows roam,
I see your face in every soul.
It’s been four months since our goodbye,
Yet the ghost of you still grips my mind.
Your smile, your laugh, that careless spark,
The paths we wandered, the dreams we shared
No song can drown the storm in my mind
No matter how loud, you always arrive.
I miss you, but I don’t long for you—
Yet every step, I stumble through.
In every shadow, every flickering light,
I’m haunted by the ghost of you
I tell myself I’ve let you go,
But deep down, I think we both know.
It’s colder now, these nights I roam,
Even the stars have lost their glow.
Sep 5, 2024
Sep 5, 2024 at 11:06 AM UTC
Here again, it’s all so familiar,
The empty space I carved for myself,
A void that brings me solace,
Far from the world's embrace.
This time, I entered willingly,
Unlike before, when ignorance guided me.
It’s different now; I can choose to leave,
Yet in this toxic, dreadful silence, I find comfort.
No longer weeping in the corner,
Everything shifts, but the feeling persists,
The heaviness in my chest—
As if the rain never ceased.
Bloodstained puddles on the floor,
Grim reminders of past hardships.
Each reflection a testament,
To all I've survived.
Maybe I’ll linger a bit longer,
Wandering endlessly through this void.
I’ll escape eventually, won’t I?
I can get out… right? Someone... please...
Jun 3, 2024
Jun 3, 2024 at 4:58 PM UTC
I once feared looking at the sky,
Afraid it would swallow me whole
I always covered my ears,
Believing if I couldn’t hear, words wouldn’t hurt
I numbed my heart, closed every door,
Isolating myself from life’s embrace.
A hollow shell with a fire long extinguished,
But then, your presence sparked a change.
I thought I was beyond feeling or hearing
Yet your touch opened my eyes to the sky.
I hesitated, nervous, but you held on tight,
With a smile you ran straight towards the light
My heart races, unfamiliar and wild,
Your eyes invite me to follow your lead.
I readied myself, slowly walking, running, leaping
What is this sense of freedom I feel, its warm
I don't know where we are going,
But there's no longer room for doubts
With you, I’ll soar to unknown heights,
I'm not afraid to take a step forward
May 31, 2024
May 31, 2024 at 2:09 PM UTC
Nakahiga, tulala na naman sa kisame
Tuloy ang daloy ng panahon
Ngunit ang mundo ko'y nakatigil
Kamay sa mukha, luha'y pinipigil
Inaalala ang mga sandaling puno ng kulay
Paligid ko'y umaapaw sa tawa't saya, dahil nariyan ka pa
Ngayo'y nagpaalam na tayo, ngunit puso ko'y nakakapit pa
Libutin man ang sansinukob, ikaw pa rin ang nais makita
Kahit anong pagsusumikap na limutin ka
Lalong lumalalim ang sugat sa bawat alaala
Sa bawat pintig ng puso, hapdi ang nararamdaman
Umaasang ang ating landas muli'y magtatagpo
May 14, 2024
May 14, 2024 at 10:25 AM UTC
Enthralled by the lunar glow’s allure
Blindly treading the path I would endure
Stubbornly pressed on, heedless of the toll
Ignoring the cracks within my weary soul
As I draw closer, happiness and solace unfurl
Yet my touch, ignites the flames that wildly swirl
Burning yet I cling, despite the searing pain
I stand my ground holding you in my embrace
To my surprise, you pushed me away,
Leaving me adrift, lost in disarray.
Unaware, I’m falling into the void
Desperately clinging to the shadows
Was I naive, to have pushed so far?
Do I regret the burns and the scars?
With tears and a smile, I raise my fist,
"I would do it for you” as I fall in to the abyss
Apr 23, 2024
Apr 23, 2024 at 10:18 AM UTC