when i'm upset
i shut myself down.
i have no motivation for anything,
i tell myself that nobody cares,
even though i know some do.
i think about all of the negative things
i could possibly think of.
i give myself all the pain,
thinking i deserve it.
i'm not sure why i do that,
but that's just how i am.
Apr 20, 2014
Apr 20, 2014 at 7:01 AM UTC
i suffer from
that kind of
sadness that only
creeps in the
darkness of night,
forcing tears out
of my eyes.
i suffer from
that kind of
sadness that sways
in your ribcage
for days, destroying
every heart vessel,
that soul-blackening
sadness.
[v.c]
Apr 13, 2014
Apr 13, 2014 at 3:22 AM UTC
Baby you’re so lovely
I want to make you mine
You say that you care
But never invest the time…
in me,
I just want to sit, maybe drink some dark tea.
While you tell me all your thoughts,
the world inside your head.
And maybe if you ****** my mind,
I’ll end up face down in your seductive bed.
I want to take long walks,
maybe hold your hand.
While watching this beautifully corrupt world,
with the muted silence.
Side by side where we could stand.
But you don’t want me,
you never really did,
you pretended but I wasn’t
all your ****** urges that you hid.
And then we were together,
an illusion of happiness you put me in,
remember that night? committing the dirtiest sin.
Where both our souls intertwined on another,
But now it’s like we both barely even know each other.
But now you’re tasting her.
Does she even taste the same?
You hurt someone who would never hurt you,
that’s why I’ve devoted the rest of my life to try and forget you…
But day by day is a struggle.
As every thought I’ve ever thought of consists of you,
As the way you talk, the way you move,
The way your lips form the most perfect smile,
The way your hands fit perfectly into mine,
the way your breathe and our sync heartbeats,
Like a metronome. Our first kiss
the way our tongues caressed each other-perfectly
making my heart melt.
But I,
could write similes on your body,
because metaphorically it’s a pen of elation
&your; my pad which withdraws the creation,
of the art in which portrays a picture of ‘us’
but the thought of you and I,
was all just a pretty picture,
which faded in the drift of air.
baby you’re so lovely
I want to make you mine.
you say that you care
but never invest the time…
in me.
I just want to sit maybe drink dark tea
Mar 15, 2014
Mar 15, 2014 at 8:43 AM UTC
In life, you meet people.
some you never think about
again
some, you wonder what happen to them
there are some
that you wonder if they ever think
about you
and then - there
are some you wish
you never had to think about
again
'but you do'
Mar 15, 2014
Mar 15, 2014 at 8:35 AM UTC
that girl in the photo,
who wears a smile upon her face
with twinkles in her eyes
and a skin that glows
you have no idea
you have no idea
how once struggled
in finding herself
and fighting for her
many dreams
that girl in the photo,
she once cried for
365 consecutive days
and suffered eight years
of depression
that girl in the photo,
she once thought that
her body was fat
and starved herself
for days
that girl in the photo,
she once hated herself
for the way that
she wasn't perfect
in any aspect
that girl in the photo,
she was a wallflower
who was thought to be
anti-social because
she was quiet
that girl in the photo,
she had her heart broken
one too many times
and lost herself
in so many ways
that girl in the photo,
you have no idea
how much she cried
and wanted to end
her precious life
Mar 14, 2014
Mar 14, 2014 at 6:48 PM UTC
please do not tell me
that i am beautiful,
right now because i
cannot help myself --
i will inhale your words and
then swallow them and absorb them
into my veins and my arteries
and they will stick like honey
and burn like arsenic
because they are such
lovely
little
lies.
Mar 14, 2014
Mar 14, 2014 at 6:40 PM UTC
2 am is for the poets who
can't sleep because their
minds are alive with words
for someone who's not there
for the alcohlics drinking
themselves into amnesia to
forget someone who left
2 am is not for the lovers
asleep in each other's arm
it is for the lonely.
the ones who are in love
with the loved
but are the one's
who are not loved
in return.
Mar 14, 2014
Mar 14, 2014 at 6:36 PM UTC
there are two types of sadness;
there's that kind
that i want to get rid of
so i watch friends
listen to happy music
find someone to talk to
then there's
the other one
when you know you're sad
but you want to
isolate yourself
and just drown
in the pool of emotions
listen to sad music
read quotes about life
write poems
drink tea
and
basically just feel empty
Mar 14, 2014
Mar 14, 2014 at 6:21 PM UTC
When you find yourself drowning in self-hate, you have to remind yourself that you weren’t born feeling this way. That at some point in your journey, some person or experience sent you the message that there was something wrong with who you are, and you internalized those messages and took them on as your truth. But that hate isn’t yours to carry, and those judgments aren’t about you. And in the same way that you learned to think badly of yourself, you can learn to think new, self-loving and accepting thoughts. You can learn to challenge those beliefs, take away their power, and reclaim your own. It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen over night. But it is possible. And it starts when you decide that there has to be more to life than this pain you feel. It starts when you decide that you deserve to discover it
Mar 14, 2014
Mar 14, 2014 at 6:12 PM UTC