VQdev - Hello Poetry

why do you let yourself swallow you whole? why do you make living so hard? who has control? idk but I'm grey and I'm white my colour is melting like ice thin as the body thats shedding everything nice don't think twice its not alright, worse at night when you're directing every aspect of an overcast life dream of nothing, dream of better sleep, sleep beside a knife till you annihilate that creep when memory hurts, when the cut is too deep know that although you've lost a lot, your mind is yours to keep

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Jan 23, 2020

Jan 23, 2020 at 8:31 PM UTC

Your Mind is Yours to Keep

why do you let yourself swallow you whole? why do you make living so hard? who has control? idk but I'm grey and I'm white my colour is melting like ice thin as the body thats shedding everything nice don't think twice its not alright, worse at night when you're directing every aspect of an overcast life dream of nothing, dream of better sleep, sleep beside a knife till you annihilate that creep when memory hurts, when the cut is too deep know that although you've lost a lot, your mind is yours to keep

13

Woke up from my dreaming to a nightmare, she was screaming Got back to the car the radio sang about my demons I hate heathens, singing along for no reason As she slams the door behind me Revenge is open season 5 days in I look like you Broken glass back pain *** stains on my shoes Redoing old never feels new Only see myself in a car mirror view I want her in my windshield I want her name on my screen Any source of affection puts worth into screams A honk has no emotion My notions are bleeding Feeding on desire, I hit the gas Before my house catches fire Her words were knives, dipped in lies I realize theres no easy way I "Take a break from all my sinning" But God made me gay Screams turned to silence Caution escaped violence My bed never felt so wrong When I left my demons in song I long for my steering wheel I feel I have to stop admitting Can't help that I'm forgiving I named my car twister I call this twisted living

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Sep 5, 2018

Sep 5, 2018 at 10:47 AM UTC

Twisted Living

Woke up from my dreaming to a nightmare, she was screaming Got back to the car the radio sang about my demons I hate heathens, singing along for no reason As she slams the door behind me Revenge is open season 5 days in I look like you Broken glass back pain *** stains on my shoes Redoing old never feels new Only see myself in a car mirror view I want her in my windshield I want her name on my screen Any source of affection puts worth into screams A honk has no emotion My notions are bleeding Feeding on desire, I hit the gas Before my house catches fire Her words were knives, dipped in lies I realize theres no easy way I "Take a break from all my sinning" But God made me gay Screams turned to silence Caution escaped violence My bed never felt so wrong When I left my demons in song I long for my steering wheel I feel I have to stop admitting Can't help that I'm forgiving I named my car twister I call this twisted living

30

I wish you could flash high beams from tail lights so that u can tell the ******* behind you to turn off their high beams I wish my headphones were invisible I wish my acne was invisible I wish I was invisible Aren’t I? The salt hurts your eyes when you try to tell the elephant to get off of your chest He walked in with a maroon vest and pretended to help as she reached for the top shelf in hopes of an antibiotic buzz Fuzz surrounds my memories to hide the ugly parts You pushed me around in a shopping cart and I forgot that I had legs I spent my high school years inside of song lyrics tapping kegs Taylor wrote about a forgotten egg You have to be known to be forgotten Mr knott says cotton will **** you I just wish the blues were still blue I’ll stop rhyming now It’s not how I plan, what its made to become My mind finds the next line hidden in the last one I don’t make sense and i’m not having fun I wish pencils were still made of led “God ****** laura dever” you said “It should have been you” I wish i️t was me too I’m done living in suburban blues I’m done living without you 19 days to be exact, a 17 day panic attack It’s always easy to know where i’m at A final goodbye, the sky turned red to warn us of what was already done Trees attacked the public and it seems im the only one That wasn’t afraid to die A red warning waited in the sky It took place of the rainbow and watched me tell my last lie “Please forget about me, goodbye” Mother nature cried, she was finally on my side My broken windsheild wipers weren’t doing well Through the rain it was still easy to tell Something’s been missing from me for awhile Call 927-6289 if you happen to find my smile

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May 29, 2018

May 29, 2018 at 12:56 PM UTC

Rhyming is Said to Remedy Anything

I wish you could flash high beams from tail lights so that u can tell the ******* behind you to turn off their high beams I wish my headphones were invisible I wish my acne was invisible I wish I was invisible Aren’t I? The salt hurts your eyes when you try to tell the elephant to get off of your chest He walked in with a maroon vest and pretended to help as she reached for the top shelf in hopes of an antibiotic buzz Fuzz surrounds my memories to hide the ugly parts You pushed me around in a shopping cart and I forgot that I had legs I spent my high school years inside of song lyrics tapping kegs Taylor wrote about a forgotten egg You have to be known to be forgotten Mr knott says cotton will **** you I just wish the blues were still blue I’ll stop rhyming now It’s not how I plan, what its made to become My mind finds the next line hidden in the last one I don’t make sense and i’m not having fun I wish pencils were still made of led “God ****** laura dever” you said “It should have been you” I wish i️t was me too I’m done living in suburban blues I’m done living without you 19 days to be exact, a 17 day panic attack It’s always easy to know where i’m at A final goodbye, the sky turned red to warn us of what was already done Trees attacked the public and it seems im the only one That wasn’t afraid to die A red warning waited in the sky It took place of the rainbow and watched me tell my last lie “Please forget about me, goodbye” Mother nature cried, she was finally on my side My broken windsheild wipers weren’t doing well Through the rain it was still easy to tell Something’s been missing from me for awhile Call 927-6289 if you happen to find my smile

37

As I’m leaving I run into you on the kitchen floor Sharing with the appliances your miserable company Giving me your melancholy stare I can help you not be alone but I can’t help with lonely You called me boney as I put my back against the cabinet and sunk into my seat on the hardwood floor Now we both feel lonely don’t we We aren’t a pair, a puzzle, or each other's other halves We’re not even complicated togetherness We’re two people and we’re alone No amount of bodies on the kitchen floor will fix that I had to go but still I sat, in the ditch next to you hurting my neck looking up to speak I missed my ride home I was looking for a girl that I knew, she had the same name as you, have you seen her? Sam says she was last seen in the basement dancing, equipped with a convincing smile The girl on the kitchen floor looks like she's been here for awhile But I’m too boney to lift her up and make her dance side by side with a memory I guess we’ll never know who she is Where did the dancer go? She’s dancing with dust bunnies under the fridge She drunkenly holds onto the steering wheel This version seems a bit more real I don’t feel as well as I used to due to two names just listed on the loudspeaker Thank the lord that I don’t Or I’d be dancing with the dust bunnies, reliving a memory, feeling lonely on the kitchen floor I’ve certainly been there before Nobody ever sat with me, I erased it from memory This is the difference between alone and lonely

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May 29, 2018

May 29, 2018 at 12:49 PM UTC

Dancing With a Memory

As I’m leaving I run into you on the kitchen floor Sharing with the appliances your miserable company Giving me your melancholy stare I can help you not be alone but I can’t help with lonely You called me boney as I put my back against the cabinet and sunk into my seat on the hardwood floor Now we both feel lonely don’t we We aren’t a pair, a puzzle, or each other's other halves We’re not even complicated togetherness We’re two people and we’re alone No amount of bodies on the kitchen floor will fix that I had to go but still I sat, in the ditch next to you hurting my neck looking up to speak I missed my ride home I was looking for a girl that I knew, she had the same name as you, have you seen her? Sam says she was last seen in the basement dancing, equipped with a convincing smile The girl on the kitchen floor looks like she's been here for awhile But I’m too boney to lift her up and make her dance side by side with a memory I guess we’ll never know who she is Where did the dancer go? She’s dancing with dust bunnies under the fridge She drunkenly holds onto the steering wheel This version seems a bit more real I don’t feel as well as I used to due to two names just listed on the loudspeaker Thank the lord that I don’t Or I’d be dancing with the dust bunnies, reliving a memory, feeling lonely on the kitchen floor I’ve certainly been there before Nobody ever sat with me, I erased it from memory This is the difference between alone and lonely

25

The leaves tell stories in the form of footprints Some separated from themselves The wind comes at breakneck speed and takes you even farther from what you once were The wheels of cars don’t break you, they just make you smaller And when the humans get fed up the large metal hand comes and snatches you away You were once a playground for the adventurous The most important things can still be temporary You forget that this tree’s memory was dead before you even met Society makes sure dead things aren’t looked at for too long Well, then why are you looking at me? Your crunches are haunting my memory I walked inside my house with your stems in my shirt and shoes covered in dirt To find another thing I knew as dead Too many chemicals to the head But that lady wasn’t stepped on She wasn’t driven over or thrown She was lifted up by the girl covered in leaves Because she had just spent time with the dead She said it's not bad company but it leaves a bad memory She didn’t want another one of those Oh ms believer told its story in the hospital waiting room The leaves told their stories from inside of my shoes The doctor didn’t say **** to the 9 year old looking as innocent as she ever will in her blue puffer coat and no-lace converse, she's thinking about the dead leaves This 9 year old knew what death was But only looked at it with peripheral vision behind interlocked fingers Or looked with a smile as she jumped right inside of it Its been 8 years, She now looks death in the mirror

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Apr 5, 2018

Apr 5, 2018 at 10:25 AM UTC

Kids Playing in a Pile of Death

The leaves tell stories in the form of footprints Some separated from themselves The wind comes at breakneck speed and takes you even farther from what you once were The wheels of cars don’t break you, they just make you smaller And when the humans get fed up the large metal hand comes and snatches you away You were once a playground for the adventurous The most important things can still be temporary You forget that this tree’s memory was dead before you even met Society makes sure dead things aren’t looked at for too long Well, then why are you looking at me? Your crunches are haunting my memory I walked inside my house with your stems in my shirt and shoes covered in dirt To find another thing I knew as dead Too many chemicals to the head But that lady wasn’t stepped on She wasn’t driven over or thrown She was lifted up by the girl covered in leaves Because she had just spent time with the dead She said it's not bad company but it leaves a bad memory She didn’t want another one of those Oh ms believer told its story in the hospital waiting room The leaves told their stories from inside of my shoes The doctor didn’t say **** to the 9 year old looking as innocent as she ever will in her blue puffer coat and no-lace converse, she's thinking about the dead leaves This 9 year old knew what death was But only looked at it with peripheral vision behind interlocked fingers Or looked with a smile as she jumped right inside of it Its been 8 years, She now looks death in the mirror

28

I'm so down to earth I’m 6 feet under Here the sounds of silent thunder sing me to sleep The torn clothes, never worn, keep me warm Like a baby in a laundry basket full of rags Tags ripped off What a waste of money how much did it cost It took too long to realize I was lost and I am now one with the dirt Stains on my shirt I dream of my legs going somewhere important My lungs are a meter stick and my breath is a child too small to ride It just doesn’t reach Teach the kid to stretch I’ll smile from my state of rest Keep drinking your milk kid Maybe you won’t be the man too short to live Powerful enough to break a strawberries heart A rollercoaster is a good start it teaches you how things will be Unless your me, just lay still on the ground Hear the ringing sounds but don’t analyze what it means Because behind the scenes of these stained glass windows Is the 2018 year-round gun show The bullet missed my smile by a mile but it must have hit a parallel universe because once again I am one with the dirt The elements sing me to sleep Quick wit lies, open eyes keep me alive And when the shovel comes I won’t be ready to leave I've faked my death for a quarter lifetime of peace I decompose piece by piece I'm so unbreakably sane that death hit every ***** but forgot about my brain Meaning I'm no longer in pain but I can think about what it feels like From now on I’ll stay high as a kite But the oxygen diminishing dirt wont let my geeb light As sober as a drunk man that lost his liver then found god From now on I’ll be high on death Until the lower mantle steals my last breath

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Mar 21, 2018

Mar 21, 2018 at 8:42 PM UTC

I'm So Down to Earth I'm 6 Feet Under

I'm so down to earth I’m 6 feet under Here the sounds of silent thunder sing me to sleep The torn clothes, never worn, keep me warm Like a baby in a laundry basket full of rags Tags ripped off What a waste of money how much did it cost It took too long to realize I was lost and I am now one with the dirt Stains on my shirt I dream of my legs going somewhere important My lungs are a meter stick and my breath is a child too small to ride It just doesn’t reach Teach the kid to stretch I’ll smile from my state of rest Keep drinking your milk kid Maybe you won’t be the man too short to live Powerful enough to break a strawberries heart A rollercoaster is a good start it teaches you how things will be Unless your me, just lay still on the ground Hear the ringing sounds but don’t analyze what it means Because behind the scenes of these stained glass windows Is the 2018 year-round gun show The bullet missed my smile by a mile but it must have hit a parallel universe because once again I am one with the dirt The elements sing me to sleep Quick wit lies, open eyes keep me alive And when the shovel comes I won’t be ready to leave I've faked my death for a quarter lifetime of peace I decompose piece by piece I'm so unbreakably sane that death hit every ***** but forgot about my brain Meaning I'm no longer in pain but I can think about what it feels like From now on I’ll stay high as a kite But the oxygen diminishing dirt wont let my geeb light As sober as a drunk man that lost his liver then found god From now on I’ll be high on death Until the lower mantle steals my last breath

33

At 2am he asks me how I am I avoid the question by saying im in bed eating a bag of shredded cheese I figured it would answer its self I look into my brain, mental instability on the top shelf He looks inside his to find what to say back to her- “Is i️t cheddar?” It’s mild- i️m wild ive got the heart of a child when they see a dog at the shelter It’s my responsibility to fall in love with her And him and you and everybody i see Im a ******* pisces Im going to wake up with cheese all over my ******* bed My horoscope said “if you don’t swim for something, you’ll drown for anything” Stop holding my head underwater Go find pearl jam and have them call me daughter And I’ll wear the shoe laces of a queen Im a sane mother’s wet dream despite the neon static in my head and the spiratic crumbs in my bed “No eating in bed” they said Then hit me with a shovel, plug the hdmi chord into my ear and watch my chemical dreams on the big screen in the neighbors backyard Shove a joint in my eye as a thank you card and turn the volume up Throw me in the back of a pick up truck Then tape my hand to a gas guzzling motorcycle maybe it will help me sleep Keep the helmet on the seat No drinking for lent and on sundays don’t cheat Beat me with a golf club sell me on stubhub I might have a talent or two But soon I’ll fall off of my thrown, theres something missing from my shoes I find the white lines tied to a pipe Seperating a head from a body A shoelace in this case was worn by an undeserving daughter Slaughtered by a helpful string “Turn off that thing” the neighbors screamed “Stop her mind” **** was just getting good, mind you Rip down the screen, pull out my ear too Put the shoelaces back on my shoe Theres nothing to see here but a disturbed dream With shredded cheese at the crime scene

0

Mar 21, 2018

Mar 21, 2018 at 8:34 PM UTC

About a Dream

At 2am he asks me how I am I avoid the question by saying im in bed eating a bag of shredded cheese I figured it would answer its self I look into my brain, mental instability on the top shelf He looks inside his to find what to say back to her- “Is i️t cheddar?” It’s mild- i️m wild ive got the heart of a child when they see a dog at the shelter It’s my responsibility to fall in love with her And him and you and everybody i see Im a ******* pisces Im going to wake up with cheese all over my ******* bed My horoscope said “if you don’t swim for something, you’ll drown for anything” Stop holding my head underwater Go find pearl jam and have them call me daughter And I’ll wear the shoe laces of a queen Im a sane mother’s wet dream despite the neon static in my head and the spiratic crumbs in my bed “No eating in bed” they said Then hit me with a shovel, plug the hdmi chord into my ear and watch my chemical dreams on the big screen in the neighbors backyard Shove a joint in my eye as a thank you card and turn the volume up Throw me in the back of a pick up truck Then tape my hand to a gas guzzling motorcycle maybe it will help me sleep Keep the helmet on the seat No drinking for lent and on sundays don’t cheat Beat me with a golf club sell me on stubhub I might have a talent or two But soon I’ll fall off of my thrown, theres something missing from my shoes I find the white lines tied to a pipe Seperating a head from a body A shoelace in this case was worn by an undeserving daughter Slaughtered by a helpful string “Turn off that thing” the neighbors screamed “Stop her mind” **** was just getting good, mind you Rip down the screen, pull out my ear too Put the shoelaces back on my shoe Theres nothing to see here but a disturbed dream With shredded cheese at the crime scene

37

Wait! Is that plagiarism? I need a new title.

0

Mar 21, 2018

Mar 21, 2018 at 8:26 PM UTC

I Had a Dream...

Wait! Is that plagiarism? I need a new title.

1

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by Snapchats, left swipes, number of likes and screen-lit nights Destroyed by 4 second nudes and the two buttons that make 4 seconds infinite By searching amazon prime for a suicide prevention kit By taking one sip too many and ending the night with plenty of tounges down your throat By Geebs with too much milk, opinions stronger than silk Both good yet impressionable and easy to lose control By LED light seeping into the numb soul of the follower searching for love on Google Destroyed by the vibration of a body-count notification Destroyed by that first battery-powered rip, desperate for a trip thats not to the therapist Desperate to feel addiction, the need for need combined with heriditary greed Addiction lowers suicidal thoughts, craving the next day to take your next shot Shots of ***** shots of hate, shots at children, all shots are great We feel alive when we hear about death, we finally appreciate oxygen breath Destroyed by the friendships lost over hillary vs donald Waiting for the day we get old, so that we have a say & we’ll look back and realize these are suppossed to be the good old days The days spent sitting in metal chairs next to the boy with pot-smelling hair Destroyed by the fear of never being enough because college prep means you are on track And on track means you’re two steps back The princible said “cover up” to the girl with the huge rack Every eye that is layed on you is a personal attack Behind the scenes of these ************* memes is self deprication and pain that we somehow all relate to Waiting for the iphone x to come out so that we can feel brand new Destroyed by depression becoming the media’s new obsession Destroyed by the inability to jump into a TV screen and live a different life Destroyed by your ****** up families strife The ‘correct’ kids words cut like a knife Destroyed by the fact that there is not enough beer in the world to drown all your fear About the fact that your stuck in high school for at least another year

0

Mar 21, 2018

Mar 21, 2018 at 8:16 PM UTC

I Saw the Best Minds of my Generation...

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by Snapchats, left swipes, number of likes and screen-lit nights Destroyed by 4 second nudes and the two buttons that make 4 seconds infinite By searching amazon prime for a suicide prevention kit By taking one sip too many and ending the night with plenty of tounges down your throat By Geebs with too much milk, opinions stronger than silk Both good yet impressionable and easy to lose control By LED light seeping into the numb soul of the follower searching for love on Google Destroyed by the vibration of a body-count notification Destroyed by that first battery-powered rip, desperate for a trip thats not to the therapist Desperate to feel addiction, the need for need combined with heriditary greed Addiction lowers suicidal thoughts, craving the next day to take your next shot Shots of ***** shots of hate, shots at children, all shots are great We feel alive when we hear about death, we finally appreciate oxygen breath Destroyed by the friendships lost over hillary vs donald Waiting for the day we get old, so that we have a say & we’ll look back and realize these are suppossed to be the good old days The days spent sitting in metal chairs next to the boy with pot-smelling hair Destroyed by the fear of never being enough because college prep means you are on track And on track means you’re two steps back The princible said “cover up” to the girl with the huge rack Every eye that is layed on you is a personal attack Behind the scenes of these ************* memes is self deprication and pain that we somehow all relate to Waiting for the iphone x to come out so that we can feel brand new Destroyed by depression becoming the media’s new obsession Destroyed by the inability to jump into a TV screen and live a different life Destroyed by your ****** up families strife The ‘correct’ kids words cut like a knife Destroyed by the fact that there is not enough beer in the world to drown all your fear About the fact that your stuck in high school for at least another year

29

I see my lonely satellite I'm not in paradise Am I lovely too? You like my arms You like my stomach But only when it has the muscle lines vertical and horizontal It doesn’t look like that now I have no one to impress I never look my best Is that enough for you? Am I lovely too? My thighs spread out when I sit But I wear leggings under my jeans to make them fit That makes me pretty, doesn’t it? My knees have this ugly indent My shoulders stab when I hug My stegosaurus spinal cord could cut glass I’ve used it to cut my mirror in half Your mirror is perfectly shaped It's perfect because it shows you Am I lovely? Do you love me too? I’m never the topic of one's thoughts A careless lady in competition with thots These red bubbles of insecurity try to escape from my face And everytime they try they just get bigger But so am I The doctor says it's a good thing I may be thin but I still cling To the idea of being like Maria- That woman is in paradise and it must be nice To have someone singing about how you’re lovely-- Please, tell me you love me The once tolerable parts of me are lost And that is the cost of loving beautiful things You don’t love yourself But I love you Am I lovely too? I’m falling into space She tells me its my safe place I see my lonely satellite Im in paradise when I think of you Do you love me? Am I lovely too?

0

Mar 21, 2018

Mar 21, 2018 at 2:48 PM UTC

Am I Lovely Too?

I see my lonely satellite I'm not in paradise Am I lovely too? You like my arms You like my stomach But only when it has the muscle lines vertical and horizontal It doesn’t look like that now I have no one to impress I never look my best Is that enough for you? Am I lovely too? My thighs spread out when I sit But I wear leggings under my jeans to make them fit That makes me pretty, doesn’t it? My knees have this ugly indent My shoulders stab when I hug My stegosaurus spinal cord could cut glass I’ve used it to cut my mirror in half Your mirror is perfectly shaped It's perfect because it shows you Am I lovely? Do you love me too? I’m never the topic of one's thoughts A careless lady in competition with thots These red bubbles of insecurity try to escape from my face And everytime they try they just get bigger But so am I The doctor says it's a good thing I may be thin but I still cling To the idea of being like Maria- That woman is in paradise and it must be nice To have someone singing about how you’re lovely-- Please, tell me you love me The once tolerable parts of me are lost And that is the cost of loving beautiful things You don’t love yourself But I love you Am I lovely too? I’m falling into space She tells me its my safe place I see my lonely satellite Im in paradise when I think of you Do you love me? Am I lovely too?

44