Out of work and hating it
Whilst others talk about regretting work,
Even their perfect jobs don't give them a perk.
Stay unemployed for 11 years and you'll see, that through no choice you live a life
Of absolute misery.
You tell yourself you're pathetic every day.
And everyone else says you're not.
Listen to everyone go on about benefits,
How they cheat the system.
How they're not disabled and just picking pockets.
They have a TV as big as a house.
You feel like a criminal because you're on benefits and they're talking about you.
You tell yourself you're pathetic every day
And everyone else says "yeh, but you've got a real reason for your help".
Live with your dad for 8 years,
And see everyone who knows looking down on me.
I can see myself interrupting his life,
i ask, and he says he's fine.
I know he's not, and I feel like i'm to blame for every bad thing for him.
I tell myself I'm pathetic every day
And everyone else says I need the easy break.
I have absolutely no money, eight grand in debt,
Trying to pay my way in my dad's house through gifts and favours that I don't want paying back.
Yet my dad complains about the bills, and I don't contribute to those, other than what I can.
I dont pay a single utility bill for this house.
I tell myself i'm pathetic everyday
But everyone else tells me using my family is okay.
Exert myself too hard all the time,
job interviews when I'm in mental decline
Taking on a project, telling myself im fine
When actually im failing at the basics,
Can't do simple jobs in the house, or even look into people's, faces.
I tell myself I'm pathetic everyday,
But everyone else tells me to relax and take it easy.
Finally.....professional help is here for good.
I start making life better for myself
Give up smoking, start doing things I really like,
Actually say no for once, and put up a gate
People start disappearing from my life after I ask for a small amount.
I dont tell myself im pathetic anymore,
But all those people who said they cared, but never showed it, tell me I'm pathetic instead,
Now I'm the bad guy for being nice to myself, for improving, for not looking after everyone else.
My life is better every time someone leaves.
I dont even need to push them away,
they just become mad because me saying no, ruined their moving day. Also angry because they had to pay for my fuel, when I drive 200 miles to look after their life, while they improved their own, and I'm ruining mine.
I guess the trash takes it self out.
Jan 19
Jan 19, 2026 at 8:39 PM UTC
What is beauty?
A car? Curves? A masterpiece painting?
Religion? A curtains pattern? A ten out of ten rating?
Is beauty a slim woman? Is it A big **** Or lips that are glossy?
Fashion revolves around beauty. A catwalk....a model. A celeb wearing meat? Wearing nothing? Supermodel thin??
What are these things we're taught as beauty? **** it. Stuff the lot of it,
It makes me sick to see society tell me
What is beautiful, its not The Mans duty!
So what is beauty?
Is it just the visual? To those who see something they've been told to like, and accept that it is true?
What if its not the twenty thousand pound dress,
Maybe its not the frosted antique glass
Maybe its not a Tate Modern mess.
I believe it all starts with the questions we ask.
Why is she posting online so much just lately?
Im a little concerned and I'll check in on her.
Turns out life, as its "supposed" to be, is getting quite hard.
You listen, you ask to hug, no words really needed,
just reassurance someone wants to be there.
Genuine concern and actively caring is Beauty, right? Maybe?
This act seems unpopular now, so maybe not?
My mustache got complimented yesterday, by an old lady.
Her smile and words made me cry.
Her beautiful, random act of kindness...... beauty encapsulated.
5 seconds of words, made me feel elated to tears.
Thats beauty, right?
Whatever it was.....ill never forget that moment for the rest of my life.
Yet the insta story of an unconsented picture,
to mock someones body, gets more likes.....
The photo certainly didn't make me cry tears of happiness.
I do know that.
Go figure.
Seeing someone sitting in the corner, and thinking "they look lonely"
Go to ask if they want company.
Turns out they were anxious and had no friends at the party.
An act of sharing your time with a new person, and ending up making a new life accomplice.
Thats beauty, right?
Unselfish and kind.
Made a new friend for life.
Or were you selfish *** the host was unhappy you didn't speak to them all night?
So what is beauty? I know what it is to me.
Its sitting with me, when perhaps no one else sees me.
Its taking extra care, and being genuinely concerned with my ridiculous tomato allergy.
Its asking someone if they're okay a second time,
*** you did it once,
and it let that person you asked,
unwind, after the first answer was.....
"I'm fine".
How about these things.....
Being really attentive and caring to a vulnerable person,
And learning that next time, you can,
and want to be even more personal, especially when that person needs your very own, unique, compassionate response.
How about standing up for a victim of hate, *** their hair is different, or sexuality, or even their race?
Surely this should be natural to everyone? This act of love for a stranger.
This is beauty, right?
I see it less and less these days.
Wait...is what I think being beautiful is....becoming more and more of a stranger?
Unfashionable to actively care, when someone is in danger.
"beauty is in the eye of the beholder" seems to mean to society now,
That beauty is what we see with our eyes, as we're told lies, about physical allurement, and lustful disguise.
Capitalism rules beautiful....
Is that any sort of surprise?
Whats weird for me, whilst I see lots of lovely looking people,
a film with hot celebrities, christmas lights at christmas time, and the ornaments on the christmas trees
Wouldn't it be lovely, if we looked at caring acts,
like we looked at prize winning pedigree dogs and show cats,
Because surely beauty isnt in the eyes of the person looking,
but maybe its in the person caring their whole life,
until they can no longer get any older,
Thats a life full of beauty, and should've been treasured by others.
Society tries and tries to tell me to despise this,
And sometimes I fall to it,
I always like to think I see the true gorgeousness in people, though,
Yet I may never even see a finger move, or look at a face to judge,
Because, honestly,
Surely.......
True beauty......
.
.
.
its in the actions of the beholders love.
Be beautiful.
Jan 18
Jan 18, 2026 at 7:21 PM UTC