Ukulele-touch-the-sky - Hello Poetry

I am from stories Stories and fantasies woven by my cousins and I With characters we built on ourselves In worlds of our own, the only rules of our making I am from hurt From chronic depression and panic attacks Too scared to be open or to not be alone With parents who cared, but didn't know what was wrong I am from care From a therapist after four years of needing one From connecting to people as lost as me, holding their hands Being an anchor in the hellscape we share I am from being queer Having a crush on my best friend and not knowing where to go Not feeling the label of "woman" fit Scared to be hated for being myself Hating myself, but knowing I shouldn't I am from acceptance Accepting myself as I am And leaving those who could not accept me Making way for the person I want to become for myself Rising to be my own I am from stars From looking up with wonder every clear night From never seeing a sky that wasn't beautiful And if the sky can be so open and free Then maybe so can I I am from myself, and the story I write Hoping one day to be healed in mind Hoping to someday find the sky and stars in someone else Regardless of gender, or anything else I will be okay and I will be happy

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Jan 23, 2019

Jan 23, 2019 at 1:27 PM UTC

Origin

I am from stories Stories and fantasies woven by my cousins and I With characters we built on ourselves In worlds of our own, the only rules of our making I am from hurt From chronic depression and panic attacks Too scared to be open or to not be alone With parents who cared, but didn't know what was wrong I am from care From a therapist after four years of needing one From connecting to people as lost as me, holding their hands Being an anchor in the hellscape we share I am from being queer Having a crush on my best friend and not knowing where to go Not feeling the label of "woman" fit Scared to be hated for being myself Hating myself, but knowing I shouldn't I am from acceptance Accepting myself as I am And leaving those who could not accept me Making way for the person I want to become for myself Rising to be my own I am from stars From looking up with wonder every clear night From never seeing a sky that wasn't beautiful And if the sky can be so open and free Then maybe so can I I am from myself, and the story I write Hoping one day to be healed in mind Hoping to someday find the sky and stars in someone else Regardless of gender, or anything else I will be okay and I will be happy

32

I thought I never could fight back It slowly turned my world to black Depression was a cage of bars Now all that’s left is the scars I spent years locked away After time my will decayed I never dared to take a stand Too scared to take a helping hand I don’t think I’ll ever forget The silence that I still regret Locked inside my cold abyss A lonely world free of bliss But now I can sound the alarm And I can speak, my mind disarm These years of pain I can’t take back But I could dodge the next attack It took forever but I have learned That my courage hasn’t burned I know the scars may never fade But I don’t have to take that blade

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Dec 4, 2018

Dec 4, 2018 at 10:46 PM UTC

Not Anymore, I Hope

I thought I never could fight back It slowly turned my world to black Depression was a cage of bars Now all that’s left is the scars I spent years locked away After time my will decayed I never dared to take a stand Too scared to take a helping hand I don’t think I’ll ever forget The silence that I still regret Locked inside my cold abyss A lonely world free of bliss But now I can sound the alarm And I can speak, my mind disarm These years of pain I can’t take back But I could dodge the next attack It took forever but I have learned That my courage hasn’t burned I know the scars may never fade But I don’t have to take that blade

20

Oh, the things these pages see When trapped between these covers Anger, hatred, love and peace And often many others They see my fire and my ice My nightmares and my dreams They listen to me, pondering They listen to my screams These pages feel for me They take away my pain My bones the paper, blood the ink That never leaves a stain These pages are so patient They’ll never let me down But, though they listen, they don’t speak Or tell me how to turn around They do not understand me Although they listen well They help me understand myself And help my demons quell

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Oct 2, 2018

Oct 2, 2018 at 7:57 PM UTC

Pages

Oh, the things these pages see When trapped between these covers Anger, hatred, love and peace And often many others They see my fire and my ice My nightmares and my dreams They listen to me, pondering They listen to my screams These pages feel for me They take away my pain My bones the paper, blood the ink That never leaves a stain These pages are so patient They’ll never let me down But, though they listen, they don’t speak Or tell me how to turn around They do not understand me Although they listen well They help me understand myself And help my demons quell

20

They ask me who I want to be I ask them what is wrong with me? They say to be like others are You can't become a faulty star There's no way that you'll get that far Be a doctor, be a nurse Be a dentist, drive a hearse A poet? please, you can't do worse You can't make money just with verse They ask me how I sympathize With tear-stained faces, bloodshot eyes Those who struggle with goodbyes And quiet ones who analyze Or far too much, apologize They ask me how I am so wise I say that I just talk to them Find the lovely, hidden gem But first, I say, I don't condemn You are you and I am me That is all we have to be If we strive to be much more We fight our own internal war Don't be something for another's sake Learn to dream when you're awake Remember you're your own snowflake They ask me What makes you happy? I answer short of patience And just a little snappy I say that sometimes nothing can Like leaping out of fire Just to land in the pan I feel just as permanent As lines in the sand Hurting on the inside I just don't understand And other times I feel fine As if the sun remembered How to shine It's like depression just forgot How to poison every thought Or pull my fragile heartstrings taut And shatter every dream I sought But I don't say this all out loud In front of one big jeering crowd Or with friends or all alone Or even when I'm safe at home I look into their eyes and say Don't worry, friend, I'll be okay

0

Aug 27, 2018

Aug 27, 2018 at 1:35 PM UTC

IDK, A lot of feelings I guess?

They ask me who I want to be I ask them what is wrong with me? They say to be like others are You can't become a faulty star There's no way that you'll get that far Be a doctor, be a nurse Be a dentist, drive a hearse A poet? please, you can't do worse You can't make money just with verse They ask me how I sympathize With tear-stained faces, bloodshot eyes Those who struggle with goodbyes And quiet ones who analyze Or far too much, apologize They ask me how I am so wise I say that I just talk to them Find the lovely, hidden gem But first, I say, I don't condemn You are you and I am me That is all we have to be If we strive to be much more We fight our own internal war Don't be something for another's sake Learn to dream when you're awake Remember you're your own snowflake They ask me What makes you happy? I answer short of patience And just a little snappy I say that sometimes nothing can Like leaping out of fire Just to land in the pan I feel just as permanent As lines in the sand Hurting on the inside I just don't understand And other times I feel fine As if the sun remembered How to shine It's like depression just forgot How to poison every thought Or pull my fragile heartstrings taut And shatter every dream I sought But I don't say this all out loud In front of one big jeering crowd Or with friends or all alone Or even when I'm safe at home I look into their eyes and say Don't worry, friend, I'll be okay

49

I don't want someone to fall in love with the person I'm pretending to be

0

Aug 27, 2018

Aug 27, 2018 at 1:13 PM UTC

Honesty

I don't want someone to fall in love with the person I'm pretending to be

3

Tell the Night I love her With moonbeams in her eyes Her shadows sweep this tired land Becoming its disguise Tell the Night I miss her The stardust on her cheek The way she sighs the clouds along From sea to mountain peak Tell the Night I need her I need the day to end I need the dark and quiet rest Sometimes my only friend Tell the Night she scares me For though I loathe the day My demons follow me to bed And in the Night they stay

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Jan 18, 2018

Jan 18, 2018 at 7:20 PM UTC

Tell the Night I Love Her

Tell the Night I love her With moonbeams in her eyes Her shadows sweep this tired land Becoming its disguise Tell the Night I miss her The stardust on her cheek The way she sighs the clouds along From sea to mountain peak Tell the Night I need her I need the day to end I need the dark and quiet rest Sometimes my only friend Tell the Night she scares me For though I loathe the day My demons follow me to bed And in the Night they stay

16

Friend, do not envy the perfect Because in order to achieve perfection You must first live feeling that you need to be perfect Just to be good enough Which has never been worth it

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Nov 16, 2017

Nov 16, 2017 at 8:40 PM UTC

Perfection is Hollow

Friend, do not envy the perfect Because in order to achieve perfection You must first live feeling that you need to be perfect Just to be good enough Which has never been worth it

5

I’m sorry I gave up on you I’m sorry that I needed to I’m sorry that I left your side I’m sorry that you always lied I never should have trusted you You always seemed so good, so true I shouldn’t have believed your lies I should have seen through your disguise Gradually, you took my heart Turned my mind to abstract art Told me how you loved me so Then stood up to pack and go Three words I never should have said That let you straight into my head I said I love you I meant I love you You knew I loved you Three more words are on my lips Words I know will never fix Anything you put me through Even if you miss me too I miss you Or maybe I don’t miss you I just miss the person I thought you were Now I don’t know who to trust ‘Cause all we were has turned to dust

0

Nov 11, 2017

Nov 11, 2017 at 9:07 AM UTC

I Know I Shouldn't Miss You

I’m sorry I gave up on you I’m sorry that I needed to I’m sorry that I left your side I’m sorry that you always lied I never should have trusted you You always seemed so good, so true I shouldn’t have believed your lies I should have seen through your disguise Gradually, you took my heart Turned my mind to abstract art Told me how you loved me so Then stood up to pack and go Three words I never should have said That let you straight into my head I said I love you I meant I love you You knew I loved you Three more words are on my lips Words I know will never fix Anything you put me through Even if you miss me too I miss you Or maybe I don’t miss you I just miss the person I thought you were Now I don’t know who to trust ‘Cause all we were has turned to dust

26

We love and hate We give and take We live and learn We grow and burn We win and lose We pick and choose We do and don’t We will and won't We run and hide We crawl and stride We break and mend We start and end

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Apr 28, 2017

Apr 28, 2017 at 10:36 AM UTC

This is Human

We love and hate We give and take We live and learn We grow and burn We win and lose We pick and choose We do and don’t We will and won't We run and hide We crawl and stride We break and mend We start and end

12

The sea wrenched up in agony The sky a beating storm Lightning blazed with vanity The clouds a flailing swarm Nightmares plagued a fitful sleep The ocean's rolling waves The spinning curtain of the deep Brought many to their graves Iron ships cut through water Like a knife through sand Still, even brave men falter When forced against the seas to stand The skies release as thrashings cease The sea begins to dream The storm withdraws as anger thaws Its tears no longer stream

0

Oct 28, 2016

Oct 28, 2016 at 12:15 AM UTC

Storm

The sea wrenched up in agony The sky a beating storm Lightning blazed with vanity The clouds a flailing swarm Nightmares plagued a fitful sleep The ocean's rolling waves The spinning curtain of the deep Brought many to their graves Iron ships cut through water Like a knife through sand Still, even brave men falter When forced against the seas to stand The skies release as thrashings cease The sea begins to dream The storm withdraws as anger thaws Its tears no longer stream

16