In the darkness of the night
When I am sitting alone
I think how easy it would be
To slit my wrist and just fade away
In the darkness of the night
I sometimes think
Should I just take a full bottle
Of medicine and go to sleep
And never wake up again
The thoughts of suicide are strong
And just want to pull me into darkness
Darkness that never goes away
Maybe that is where I am meant to be
For the life I have lived
And the people I have failed.
In the darkness of the night
When I am sitting alone
The thoughts of suicide come on strong
May 10
May 10, 2026 at 3:34 PM UTC
I'm sorry I no longer make you happy
That I make your life hell
I'm sorry that I am a terrible person
That I am such a failure
Maybe what I was told all those years ago
Was the truth that I didn't want to hear
I should have died years ago
Maybe I should just lay down and die
Perhaps then in a world without me
You can move forward and be happy once again.
Written by
Michael Matthews
Mar 5
Mar 5, 2026 at 9:09 PM UTC
I just want to be dead.
To just lay down and not wake up.
I can no longer be the father or husband my family deserves.
I can't do the things with my kids that should do.
Or make my wife happy with the things I can't do anymore
At least with me gone they can find someone to make them happy
I love them all so much that I give my life
I hope they fly here on this world
As I fly to the heavens
I will see you all in another time
With that I say goodbye
Written By
Michael Matthews
Oct 16, 2025
Oct 16, 2025 at 12:03 AM UTC
Trapped in my mind
A prison I can't escape
Unable to move
Can't speak
I see it and hear it all
But unable to respond
I see your tears as you cry
I hear your prayers at my bedside
But I am trapped in my mind
A prison I can't escape
Jul 20, 2025
Jul 20, 2025 at 9:08 PM UTC
Everyday I walk in the rain
The rain of tears from endless pain
Hiding the pain behind a smile
Not seen the sun in quite a while
Morning brings the rain again
Only the storm is hidden within
No cuts or bruises to show as symptoms
Everyday the internal pain beats like a drum
The only symptom is not wanting to live
From hidden pain no one can see to believe
Mar 15, 2024
Mar 15, 2024 at 7:08 AM UTC
I have no choice
I must leave
To be with god
I look down from above
I will watch you my children
Make sure you chase your dreams
I have no choice
I have to go
My body is tired
But my soul will fly
Written by
Michael Matthews
Feb 14, 2024
Feb 14, 2024 at 4:25 AM UTC
Left on the floor bleeding
Sitting in the shower crying
As a child never understanding
Waking from sleep to a beating
Bleeding from head to toe
Wanting to know where the hell you go
Leaving the house to let the abuse happen
At 5 had to protect my sister
Stop his *** abuse against her
Getting chased from the home
Being shot at wishing he was just gone
Guess you just didn't want to be alone
But what you let him do was just wrong
Left on the floor bleeding
Sitting in the shower crying
How could you let this happen
Written by
Michael Matthews
Nov 21, 2023
Nov 21, 2023 at 6:13 AM UTC
Slowly falling into the growing darkness
Trying every day to hold my memories tight
My friends of many years fading into blackness
Nothing is staying in the light
Childhood memories disappear
Will I also lose who I am
That is my biggest fear
Written by
Michael Matthews
Jul 26, 2023
Jul 26, 2023 at 11:47 PM UTC
I was told I was nothing
Everyday between the beatings
I was locked outside
Given no love besides
Mental abuse to hold me down
Making me feel like nothing but a clown
All this through out my life
Still fighting with all my might
To prove that I am enough
Written by
Michael Matthews
Jan 22, 2023
Jan 22, 2023 at 5:59 PM UTC
Why god did you take my heart
This has hurt so much its worse than being shot
Why god did you mess up life
And take her to the afterlife
Why god do you every day make me think of her
And see her at the end of every year
Why god did you take my mom
Why god why
Nov 13, 2022
Nov 13, 2022 at 6:06 AM UTC