Depression sticks to be my belly
like it knows I am home.
It covers every surface,
leaving no room to grow.
It slivers and twists
up and down my spine,
like a 80s staircase made in 1985.
I could always evict her,
but she has nowhere to go.
Leaving me vacant,
and also without a home.
Nov 24, 2021
Nov 24, 2021 at 10:59 AM UTC
I rummage through dead leaves,
looking for any excuse to evaporate, like an abrupt mist into nonexistence.
I can justify my actions with one blink of an eye.
Regret does not sit in this mind of mine.
Would ruining my happiness make me complete?
No, it would not.
Yet I still chase it, like a gust of wind.
Feb 24, 2021
Feb 24, 2021 at 9:35 PM UTC
Silence is the complete absence of sound. As I sit in silence a car drives by and I can hear the vibration of their engine, though I am several feet away. The sound of my brother running up the stairs makes my feet unsteady. I can hear the roaring summer bugs gradually crescendo, then decrescendo as they come to a nervous hault. The rushing wind causes the trees to make spirit fingers reaching for the sky. Nature begins to quiet down, and I can hear my pencil tracing a collection of words onto paper. I can hear peppermint tea gliding down my throat and splashing in my stomach. It would drive me absolutely mad to sit in silence; because I adore the natural and artificial sounds this world brings.
Sep 21, 2020
Sep 21, 2020 at 9:04 PM UTC
Fingers trickle down my spine.
They stop and linger on my thigh.
Push me hard against the wall
up and down
they rise and fall.
Tempting you with cherry lips
soft and supple
ready to be kissed.
Am I hard to resist?
Draw me closer
I have one wish.
The truth is-
I'm saddened by your absence.
My eyes swell with grief.
I count each exhale
you're not here with me.
Every minute that passes
drags its feet through the mud.
I miss you and that's the issue.
I can't sleep when I'm in love.
Dec 21, 2019
Dec 21, 2019 at 1:07 AM UTC
I sit in a lukewarm bath
cradling unshaved legs.
Quietly rocking back and forth
as water splashes in my face.
I quickly sink under the surface
holding onto grimey walls.
Choking and resisting
the desire to end it all.
Hands began to shake
with great intensity
liquids flood my lungs
it's getting hard to breathe.
Everyone stands there watching me
laying frozen and still.
My lips turn dark purple.
This ride has been a thrill.
Dec 17, 2019
Dec 17, 2019 at 11:41 PM UTC
You filled me to the brim,
my body gushing with blood.
Tears stained my cheeks
reminding me I'm not enough.
I went to see a baker.
He greeted me with a smile,
turned himself to the right
to hand a sharpened knife.
I'll slowly close my eyes
as I ram it inside my chest,
to end this miserable life,
and finally be at rest.
Dec 15, 2019
Dec 15, 2019 at 6:14 PM UTC
If I could just get a blade
and end my suffering.
This life wasn't meant for me.
I wanna die tragically.
Surround me in your arms
or take the pain away.
My lungs are getting weak
from calling out your name.
Dec 15, 2019
Dec 15, 2019 at 6:09 PM UTC
The urge to cut grows stronger by the minute.
I don't think I can do this,
and that makes me pathetic.
My mind searches
for other methods to punish myself.
If I can't bleed;
I'll starve myself,
and replace my meals with iced latte's
or eat so much
that it hurts to breath and walk.
My hands start to shake
as I lock them together.
"Don't do it."
I ignore the voice,
and raid my moms bathroom
looking for a razor.
"Aha!"
I found one.
It's old and rusty
but she'll get the job done.
I take a long pause;
I am 24 days clean.
The hesitation lasts a lifetime,
but I set the razor down.
That was one more day.
One more day that I didn't fall for the urge.
Will the fight always be this hard.
I guess I'll wait and find out.
Nov 7, 2019
Nov 7, 2019 at 12:36 AM UTC
I think I might like you,
and that scares me to my core.
With every bite that I taste,
I can't help but ask for more.
You make me question my sexuality
something I set in stone.
Wrap your hands around me tightly,
I don't want you to let go.
My heart beats loudly
pressed against your chest.
while we slow dance to-
Paul Anka, Frank Sinatra,
and all the greats we love.
Under your white popcorn ceiling,
falling deeply into each other's eyes.
Your hand begins to grip my thigh
on this perfectly dimmed Sunday night.
My blue eyed darling-
please kiss me goodnight.
I'm dancing with a beautiful man,
who lives just down the street.
I don't want to think of the end.
You already have me weak to my knees.
Nov 3, 2019
Nov 3, 2019 at 9:06 PM UTC
One day I will look in the mirror with a soft smile.
I’ll turn left and right in love with who I see.
I will see the beauty in myself
when all my curves have vanished,
and all that’s left is a bag of skin and bones
where I once stood.
Sep 26, 2019
Sep 26, 2019 at 1:16 AM UTC