Thestrugglingpoet - Hello Poetry

from me to you, i curse you every night. i curse at you. i curse for you. what's wrong with you? you never seem to care. you stare blankly back in response to every plea i've uttered. every tear i've dropped. the causation of my weary eyes in correlation to my dry heart what's wrong with me? i know you i've known you my whole life you will never turn your back on me. no, you'd always face me. yes, you have always faced me you know i can't hurt you as bad as i want to you know that. i know that. it's no fair, isn't it? but i'll see you again, tomorrow. i'll see you again everywhere. i'll see you. and i'll never want to. i know you too well, but i don't think you know me at all. she loves you. he hates you. you feel nothing at all. so, i crack the mirror. now, we feel pain together.

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Aug 19, 2024

Aug 19, 2024 at 9:29 AM UTC

weary eyes, dry heart

from me to you, i curse you every night. i curse at you. i curse for you. what's wrong with you? you never seem to care. you stare blankly back in response to every plea i've uttered. every tear i've dropped. the causation of my weary eyes in correlation to my dry heart what's wrong with me? i know you i've known you my whole life you will never turn your back on me. no, you'd always face me. yes, you have always faced me you know i can't hurt you as bad as i want to you know that. i know that. it's no fair, isn't it? but i'll see you again, tomorrow. i'll see you again everywhere. i'll see you. and i'll never want to. i know you too well, but i don't think you know me at all. she loves you. he hates you. you feel nothing at all. so, i crack the mirror. now, we feel pain together.

32

i am a visitor. a visitor here. a visitor to your story, a visitor to mine, a visitor to this world. a visitor of my past, a traveller to my dreamt future. so, i am a martian. a martian to everything. a martian to all. hence, i am perpetually foreign. i am consistently uncomfortably foreign. when would i be home? i'd often wonder. when would i stop being a collector? collecting new experiences. collecting novel items. collecting temporary resources. collecting coins. collecting grains. when can i place a welcome mat on the floor?

0

Apr 3, 2024

Apr 3, 2024 at 10:14 AM UTC

visitor

i am a visitor. a visitor here. a visitor to your story, a visitor to mine, a visitor to this world. a visitor of my past, a traveller to my dreamt future. so, i am a martian. a martian to everything. a martian to all. hence, i am perpetually foreign. i am consistently uncomfortably foreign. when would i be home? i'd often wonder. when would i stop being a collector? collecting new experiences. collecting novel items. collecting temporary resources. collecting coins. collecting grains. when can i place a welcome mat on the floor?

9

i was nervous. my fingers trembled slightly as i lifted the cup to my lips. the piping hot liquid touching my tongue burnt me but the sensation felt akin to a physical expression of my incorrigible thoughts i did not dare look up, so i kept my head down for as long as i could perhaps i lifted my head because my neck felt too tired or as my skin pricked under the keen eyes of the pretty barista that circled my table 5 times but i looked up with bated breath the empty seat across me greeted me first the people around me never ceased their conversation the pubescent teenager sat diagonally across me never paused his incessant chatter the elusive woman looking to be a tortured artist in her 30s had her eyes glued to the book in hand i turned to my right the pretty barista was at the furthest end of the cafe she had her back against me.

0

Mar 6, 2024

Mar 6, 2024 at 11:19 AM UTC

i looked up

i was nervous. my fingers trembled slightly as i lifted the cup to my lips. the piping hot liquid touching my tongue burnt me but the sensation felt akin to a physical expression of my incorrigible thoughts i did not dare look up, so i kept my head down for as long as i could perhaps i lifted my head because my neck felt too tired or as my skin pricked under the keen eyes of the pretty barista that circled my table 5 times but i looked up with bated breath the empty seat across me greeted me first the people around me never ceased their conversation the pubescent teenager sat diagonally across me never paused his incessant chatter the elusive woman looking to be a tortured artist in her 30s had her eyes glued to the book in hand i turned to my right the pretty barista was at the furthest end of the cafe she had her back against me.

20

it has been 8 years since the union since i've called you dad so far, every year remains the same i'll pass you a handdrawn card on father's day, a warm smile on my face i'll write the words i love you over and over again for years 'you are the best, thank you for staying, thank you for not leaving thank you for taking care of us' but the next day, when the teacher asks us to write down a deep, sentimental reflection on our parents and our love for them without hesitation, i'll write about my mother and then pass it up without a second thought within the far depths of many sleepless nights, i'll still cry, whispering i don't have a father then i'll ask myself how cruel i must be how when its convenient, you aren't a father, not to me.

0

Sep 26, 2021

Sep 26, 2021 at 4:42 AM UTC

when it's convenient

it has been 8 years since the union since i've called you dad so far, every year remains the same i'll pass you a handdrawn card on father's day, a warm smile on my face i'll write the words i love you over and over again for years 'you are the best, thank you for staying, thank you for not leaving thank you for taking care of us' but the next day, when the teacher asks us to write down a deep, sentimental reflection on our parents and our love for them without hesitation, i'll write about my mother and then pass it up without a second thought within the far depths of many sleepless nights, i'll still cry, whispering i don't have a father then i'll ask myself how cruel i must be how when its convenient, you aren't a father, not to me.

23

a subtle brush-back of my hair, a glance there, a shy look-up and a soft smile as i read an intellectual book- i adjust my blouse, absentmindedly stirring the iced coffee between my fingers decorated with polished acrylic nails- as my eyes stray beyond the reading material- they linger on the couple engaged in an embrace on the sidewalk with grinning faces. my lips curled into a ghost of a frown, eyes dropping back down my narration stops my internal monologue begins as i question for the hundredth time that day what i was doing wrong to not be in that place

0

Aug 12, 2021

Aug 12, 2021 at 4:34 AM UTC

what i was doing wrong

a subtle brush-back of my hair, a glance there, a shy look-up and a soft smile as i read an intellectual book- i adjust my blouse, absentmindedly stirring the iced coffee between my fingers decorated with polished acrylic nails- as my eyes stray beyond the reading material- they linger on the couple engaged in an embrace on the sidewalk with grinning faces. my lips curled into a ghost of a frown, eyes dropping back down my narration stops my internal monologue begins as i question for the hundredth time that day what i was doing wrong to not be in that place

10

here i am, once again, sitting on my bed, wishing desperately to the 11 11 on the clock. 'as much as i know how you feel, i want this so desperately to be real. can you like me? can you feel how i feel?' if this is all some mythical tale like the ones my mom used to tell me before bed, can you grant me a wish like that genie did? there's no need for a true love's kiss. all i want is time, all i want is you, that all will do.

0

Aug 12, 2021

Aug 12, 2021 at 2:56 AM UTC

tell me

here i am, once again, sitting on my bed, wishing desperately to the 11 11 on the clock. 'as much as i know how you feel, i want this so desperately to be real. can you like me? can you feel how i feel?' if this is all some mythical tale like the ones my mom used to tell me before bed, can you grant me a wish like that genie did? there's no need for a true love's kiss. all i want is time, all i want is you, that all will do.

14

back then, a young girl often found herself holding hands with another girl similar of age, as they braced storms and met with trees, watching the leaves turn with age an adventure that didn't begin with the sunrise and didn't end when the sky became an ebony that matched their hair one girl thought they would be friends forever and maybe they were in an alternate reality, far away from their present so she still believed. but, the girl began to worry more as the calender flipped pages she had thought maybe memories weren't meant to hurt so much, "Maybe my heart was in my body but was never mine, maybe i lost my best friend, my everything, in a stormy sea one day, when the forecast showed nothing but clear skies for the future decade, maybe the loss did not hurt more than the knowledge that she didn't love me."

0

Jan 16, 2021

Jan 16, 2021 at 7:41 AM UTC

2 young girls

back then, a young girl often found herself holding hands with another girl similar of age, as they braced storms and met with trees, watching the leaves turn with age an adventure that didn't begin with the sunrise and didn't end when the sky became an ebony that matched their hair one girl thought they would be friends forever and maybe they were in an alternate reality, far away from their present so she still believed. but, the girl began to worry more as the calender flipped pages she had thought maybe memories weren't meant to hurt so much, "Maybe my heart was in my body but was never mine, maybe i lost my best friend, my everything, in a stormy sea one day, when the forecast showed nothing but clear skies for the future decade, maybe the loss did not hurt more than the knowledge that she didn't love me."

13

and for a minute the world is illuminated by a thousand stars, where each seemed to shine fondly down on you you turn to your side your smile widens, to an extreme you didn't know was possible before you finally knew what they meant by 'friendship' you finally knew what they meant by a 'friend' you finally felt like when sitting in a cold cinema, the only source of warmth is no longer from the overheated projector and now you know warmth could come from a person too.

0

Oct 23, 2020

Oct 23, 2020 at 11:15 AM UTC

and for a minute

and for a minute the world is illuminated by a thousand stars, where each seemed to shine fondly down on you you turn to your side your smile widens, to an extreme you didn't know was possible before you finally knew what they meant by 'friendship' you finally knew what they meant by a 'friend' you finally felt like when sitting in a cold cinema, the only source of warmth is no longer from the overheated projector and now you know warmth could come from a person too.

14

trapped, trapped, trapped breathless i can't breathe a song loops in my head the dreary tune of some indie song that weasled its way into my head stuck in a loop, playing like the background music to this emotional scene of my own movie. i can't help it i sob, i choke on my tears and scream silently into my blankets. help me, help me, help me i can't breathe again my heart screams i want to get off my bed and leave the prison of my room but who was i kidding? my skin rejected the touch of another my pride rejected the cajoles of my mother. my prison was not my room my prison was me and i refused to let myself out. please, please, please i can't-

0

Oct 23, 2020

Oct 23, 2020 at 11:08 AM UTC

i can't

trapped, trapped, trapped breathless i can't breathe a song loops in my head the dreary tune of some indie song that weasled its way into my head stuck in a loop, playing like the background music to this emotional scene of my own movie. i can't help it i sob, i choke on my tears and scream silently into my blankets. help me, help me, help me i can't breathe again my heart screams i want to get off my bed and leave the prison of my room but who was i kidding? my skin rejected the touch of another my pride rejected the cajoles of my mother. my prison was not my room my prison was me and i refused to let myself out. please, please, please i can't-

29

it creeps up like vines entangling me oh lord i can't move why? i have to go i have to leave these things called 'feelings' for after that comes the devil - infatuation please spare me from the horror itself for i no longer want to be under that 'crush' spell.

0

Feb 14, 2020

Feb 14, 2020 at 8:52 AM UTC

'crush'

it creeps up like vines entangling me oh lord i can't move why? i have to go i have to leave these things called 'feelings' for after that comes the devil - infatuation please spare me from the horror itself for i no longer want to be under that 'crush' spell.

13