I hate myself
I hate the messy curls
I hate my double chin
I hate my arms
I hate my bushy eyebrows.
I hate my awkward demeanor
I hate that I hate myself.
But most of all-
I hate that you never made me feel pretty.
Apr 18
Apr 18, 2026 at 12:00 AM UTC
It’s getting to that time of year;
Where life dulls,
Hearts tighten,
And days just mull through.
Because when the air becomes frigid
And life passes in slow motion;
Dread piles,
Like the dead leaves on the ground.
And when I feel that familiar unnerving tug
Like a leaf that tries to hold on,
As the chill of autumn approaches;
I know that
We’re closing in on another year
Without you,
Mom.
Oct 31, 2024
Oct 31, 2024 at 4:21 PM UTC
Leaves will still fall at autumn,
And giving thanks around a table,
Will proceed as normal.
Merry tidings will still pass.
And birthdays will come,
As we all grow a little older.
Life will proceed;
I will keep on going,
And I will try not to cry this year
When the leaves begin falling.
Oct 29, 2024
Oct 29, 2024 at 5:22 PM UTC
When you died;
Everything was different.
How I moved, thought,
And saw the world
Changed forever.
A switch went off in my brain that day
and a fog machine turned on.
And as I try to walk through daily
I become disoriented,
Stumbling through the best I can,
As the machine continues on.
But the fog is getting thicker;
And It’s getting hard to breathe.
I’m starting to get scared,
That I’ll never make it through.
But I’m even more afraid that
Once the fog clears,
There is nothing but dead air left.
May 28, 2024
May 28, 2024 at 7:32 PM UTC
I’m jealous of you.
You had more time,
More opportunities,
More time to be a kid,
And more time with your mom.
You won’t have to bury her
When you’re 23
Or plan her funeral.
You get to live life for yourself, uninterrupted;
Without the burden of trying to hold together your family.
Im happy you won’t experience this,
For a long while.
And while I don’t want to be,
I’m still jealous.
Feb 25, 2024
Feb 25, 2024 at 8:27 PM UTC
I want to die
But I can not right now
It’s scary and forever
But it is sounding so nice
Right now
It’s overwhelming and
I feel frustration
On a daily rotation
I cry and complain
You're always there for me
I feel like I am emotionally
Draining to you my dear
I want to not feel this way
But everything feels not ok
Please take away this feeling
Because I feel way too much
It is like I am always overfilling
Emotions always cloud my day
I get stressed and I can not focus
On really anything or anyone that matters
I feel selfish and annoying and rude
I can not help it and I am sorry
I feel useless and I want out
I want to not exist but also have a happy
oh so happy life.
Please fix me, please save me,
I’m so scared without you.
Mar 25, 2022
Mar 25, 2022 at 1:06 AM UTC
It makes me sad that I can’t seem to find a way.
The entrance even seems so far a way
Each door a new beginning or an end to one.
I can not help but feel like there’s not a single one
A single one, worth the trek.
Sometimes I just feel like a wreck.
Jul 31, 2021
Jul 31, 2021 at 7:28 PM UTC
You always trusted that adult
With life figured out.
As you got older
You became that adult
With nothing figured out
Mar 13, 2021
Mar 13, 2021 at 11:56 PM UTC
Time passes by
And does not wait.
Consistently though,
Patiently you care
Years ago
When we met in math,
All we could do was
Smile and laugh
Years to come
We still share laughs
Silliness and seriousness
Forever we will last.
Oct 27, 2020
Oct 27, 2020 at 9:14 AM UTC
The tides thrash violently
With quick indecisiveness,
Incoherently teetering with
Abrasive candor.
The storm cleaves through
Swiftly and unremitting.
Callous destruction
Wavering into tranquility.
Calm and serene
Still water under a tentative sun,
Decidedly not blue.
Fictitious placid waters,
Hide a tumultuous storm brewing.
Aug 15, 2020
Aug 15, 2020 at 2:09 PM UTC