contort your stature.
avert your eyes.
love with your smile
but
not with your mouth.
teeter on bedframes
for lack of restraint.
hold yourself, dear
&
say no names.
touch
fine lines
but only dream.
dream of pressure
on your spine
&
cold hands
anywhere.
press lips
on broken bones
&
beg for attention.
clean your mouth out
&
don't speak.
nails to sheets
for you
wander
not
stray
reflect upon
lungs heaving
heavy
as
sin
&
untouchable.
Apr 16, 2020
Apr 16, 2020 at 1:11 AM UTC
You've stolen the breath from my body
As if I was more that just a corpse to begin with
But I still fight
I will rise from this grave
&
Bury my demons in my place
At least for tonight they will stay silent
At least until the moon sets over a grave I will eventually be forced back into
&
My demons walk amongst the living once more
I hear their cries in the break of morning
I run to you as they hunt me
Seeking shelter
&
A certain comfort only family can provide
As the world outside crumbles with chaos
&
The monsters that were once mine get closer
I notice a strange familiarity to their return
A sort of tragic comfort
The same way I always felt around you
In this realization,
I set the house on fire with emotion
&
Trap myself in this home
I have no way of escape
So I let them drag me back under
To a place where I belong
They bury me alive
&
Instead of helping me fight my demons,
You were trying to put out the flames on a house that had already crumbled
&
In all this destruction,
It seems you were the only one who survived.
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 9:51 PM UTC
I remember the day you came into school with fresh slits on your wrists
You had written your world into your own flesh and skin.
Those lines created the pages by which I used to write down our story.
Those cuts displayed every flaw our relationship ever endured.
And I will always remember the day you kissed me
Telling me, begging me not to worry about you.
Telling me the drawings of blood were "nothing"
Telling me you loved me.
To this day, I am left overflowing with questions.
Did it hurt?
Did it make you feel free?
Did it make you feel alive?
Did it make you feel?
But more than anything, I want to know why you chose me.
And my god, I wish this was some poetic analogy for something beautifully tragic.
I wish this was some secret I was too afraid to utter.
But it's not.
And I wish that I had never seen such a horrific sight
Because those scars were not beautiful to me.
They weren't something to be romanticized
They weren't something to be loved.
Because every inch of your punctured skin was a nightmare for me.
I relive that moment every day of my life.
That image forever trapped within the confines of my skull.
And I will always remember the day you left me.
Again and again we fell together.
I held my pain in so deep it created canyons in the breaks on my heart.
But you.
You wore your pain like a badge of honor
You paraded your scars like they were trophies
But they were more than that.
They were a scare tactic that was suffocating me
A plot to force out every ounce of my love for you
A way to blackmail me into staying with you.
And my god I loved you.
And I could have loved you until the day I died.
But I couldn't see past it.
I Couldn't see past the traumatic illustration set before me
past the illustration that stopped my heart beating in my chest.
And I will never forget the day you walked up to me and showed me a display
Of my initials carved into the skin of your forearm.
Dec 31, 2015
Dec 31, 2015 at 1:50 AM UTC