ThatGirlWithTheNotebook
I never know what to say here. I don't write about myself like that. If you want to know me read my poetry. I pour my heart out into each one and have the emotional scars to prove it. My bio either never makes sense or just sounds rude but it's all I have and that's all I can give.
You hurt me
I have the scars to prove it
Never could I see forgiving you
Never could I see having you here again
But here we are
And I think I can now
I'm not who I was
You're not who you were
And that's why I forgive you
It was you who hurt me back then
Not you who's here right now
My scars don't hurt
They only prove I'm not who I was
Who I am now can forgive who you were
Because who you were is not who you are
Everyday we change
Everyday something shapes us
And I think its been long enough
Long enough that the days have worn down your hard edges
And thickened my soft spots
Who you were would never apologize
Would never come back
But here we are
And you mean it now
So lets take things one step at a time
Explore who we are
Who we've become after our time apart
And let the days shape us
Into who we will be
Together
Apr 11, 2018
Apr 11, 2018 at 2:07 AM UTC
Those you knew
You don't anymore
They look the same
But they're not
Their body still moves
They still breath
Still speak
But the person you knew
The one you loved
That person is dead
Someone new stands where they did
Someone speaks with their voice
This person is not yours anymore
Your person is now only a memory
Never to return
You watched them change
Watched a their bodies remain as the person you knew left
One day they'll complely fade
One day you'll truly have to lay them to rest
But today they walk amongst the living
No one knowing they're different
Not knowing that they used to be someone else
The person you loved is gone
The person you see is not yours
They are now one of the living dead
Mar 30, 2018
Mar 30, 2018 at 12:44 AM UTC
Everyone things differently
I know this
Always known this
But sometimes I have to remind myself
I have to tell myself again and again
"They don't thing like me"
Because sometimes I forget
Well not forget
Just think that somethings are universal
It's those times I think like that
That I be reminded
Because almost no thought is universal
Almost no thought is in everyone's favor
It may be common
It may be thought often
But no thought is universal
I have to remind myself of this
I have to
Or it hurts more
It hurts when I think one way
And know others don't
When I think things should be one way
Yet see them go another
When I think someone should be there
But they're not
Every time
Every single time
The only thing that keeps me going
Only thing that keeps me from breaking
Is reminding myself
Reminding myself that they don't thing like me
I'm sure there are people agree with me
I know there are
But not everyone I meet will think the same
Not everyone will see the same thing
You can show two people the same thing
And you'll get two different perspectives
You tell two people you'll always be there for them
You'll get two definitions of always
One may think it means for a long time
The other may think it means being there 24/7
You meant you'll be there when you can
Yet all think always
That's why when someone tells me one thing
I have to learn their definition
So I won't hurt too much when it doesn't match mine
And so that I remember their following through
Just according to their definition
Not mine
Because it hurts less
Because it easier this way
I just have to keep telling myself
Reminding myself
Reminding myself that they don't think like me
Jan 29, 2017
Jan 29, 2017 at 11:20 PM UTC
I'm the sum of all my parts
I'm what you get when you put the pieces together
But all these parts
All these pieces
Are "too" something
Never the right amount
I'm "bossy"
Meaning: I'm "too" assertive
I'm a "complainer"
Meaning: I'm "too" opinionated
I'm not sexually attractive
Meaning: either I'm "too" ugly
Or "too" fat
I'm "complicated"
Meaning: I'm "too" much of a mess to deal with
I'm "friendly"
Meaning: I'm "too" close to ever be considered
I'm so many things
Meaning: I'm "too" me
Nov 10, 2016
Nov 10, 2016 at 7:59 AM UTC
My hands look different
My feet look different
My ankles look different
My face
My hips
My wrists
My thighs
My calves
My arms
My everything!
My everything looks different
Some of it feels the same
Feels like mine
But some of it doesn't
Some of it feels weird
Looks weird
Doesn't feel like mine
I feel like I've lost part of me
I feel like I'm missing pieces
When I don't look at most of my pieces
I feel fine
I feel like they're mine
But when I catch a glimpse of them
When I see then in the mirror
My hands
My feet
My ankles
My face
My everything
They don't look like mine anymore
Aug 24, 2016
Aug 24, 2016 at 7:43 AM UTC
You strolled through my walls
Danced passed my defences
Were invisible to my alarms
You managed all this
Without even knowing
Without even trying
You're a unknowing thief
But a thief none the less
You stole my heart
My broken
Beaten
Heart
As bad a shape as it is
You don't seem to mind
Though you don't realize you have it
You have seen how bad it is
And you've been piecing it back together
Piece by piece
Like a jigsaw puzzle
You're sowing up the tattered seams
And making me whole again
You're my cute little thief
And I don't mind that you stole my heart
You seem to take better care of it than me
You disagree
When I'm negative
You cheer me up
When I'm down
Whilst I am hard on my heart
For mistakenly thrusting
You seek to nurture it
For still being somewhat together
You stole my heart
But I don't want it back
I'd rather have yours
So you better watch out
I'll be stealing your heart soon
My cute little thief
Jun 24, 2016
Jun 24, 2016 at 10:31 PM UTC
Just when I think you are
You're not
I'm on a roller coaster
Your roller coaster
A roller coaster you're making as you go along
And I'm strapped in with no way off
You don't even realize what you're doing to me
You bring me up
Plunge me down
It makes me so scared
I'm not afraid of the ups and downs
I'm afraid you'll one day stop
And I'll just fall
I don't thing I could survive that fall
I can barley survive the downs
You don't even know you're doing it
You just go on your merry way
Not realizing you drag my feeling with you
I don't know how to cope
I've never had to before
I've had crushes
But not like this one
You make me so nervous
More nervous than I've ever been
I just don't know how to deal
To act
To feel
To be
You're tossing my up and down
Up and down
I can't handle you
I can handle anyone
Just not you
You've thrown me off
You make me go at your pace
No one ever takes me by their pace
But you of course
Why do you do this to me?
How do you do this to me?
I'm confident
You make me humble
I'm loud
You make me quite
I curse like a sailor!
You make me sound like a nun
I'm not a person to **** with
You make me as threatening as a kitten
I'm the biggest ******* *****
And you make me a child!
I'm intelligent, despite my crude language,
You make me feel an imbecile
Nobody has ever done this to me
I never let anyone
But somehow
Without my noticing
You do all this
I wasn't expecting it
I wasn't expecting you
You slip passed my defenses
Not tripping a single alarm
Dancing your way passed my walls
Taking my heart for your own
Without even knowing it
Not even trying
My cute little thief
How do you do this to me?
Jun 24, 2016
Jun 24, 2016 at 10:15 PM UTC
You hurt others, others hurt you
It's simply the human thing to do
We learn from the pain
Let it keep us sane
We are who we are
The proof in every scar
Each one has a story to remember
Like that fight sometime in November
Or that yelling match with your mom
The time you just couldn't stay calm
We keep that pain in our mind
It could make us bitter, or kind
We either don't want others to feel the pain we did
Or we take it out on other, thinking our pain is hid
We learn from what we feel
No matter what it is, its real
Thought others may not think it's that bad
It doesn't change the fact it makes us sad
The pain we feel tells us we're alive
It propels us to break free and thrive
We learn from pain both big and small
We learns the lessons, we remember them all
Pain is a part of life
It's the ever present strife
The feelings keep us sane
We learn from the pain
Jun 24, 2016
Jun 24, 2016 at 10:14 PM UTC
We say things
Deep things
Things we wouldn't
Or couldn't
Say to the people we know
To people who are basically
Strangers
We say them because we know
Feel really
That they can be trusted
That they won't judge us
Judge us like the people who know us
They listen for the sake of listening
We feel that they will understand more
More than people who know our background
We bare to them our hearts
Because we know they won't hold it against us
They couldn't
They don't know the people we know
Know the places we speak of
Sometimes we don't even mean to
They just ask us "What's wrong?"
Or even "How ya do'n?"
And we tell them all our inner demons
All our painful secrets
And all our tails of woe
We don't know if we'll know them past that
All we know is that someone
Someone who couldn't hurt us
Heard us
Let us unload our sorrows
And unburden our shoulders
We say so many things
The things you say to the people you barely know
Jun 24, 2016
Jun 24, 2016 at 9:41 PM UTC
I always thought
They didn't care
They did
They still do
I thought after we fought
They were done
They weren't
They're still not
I thought if I washed my hands of them
They washed their hands of me
They didn't
They still don't
I thought I knew
What they were thinking
I didn't
I still don't
Not completely
But my older brother did
And still does
He knew how hurt they were
When I thought they didn't care
He knew how sad they were
When I fought them all the time
He knew how they didn't want to let me go
When I made they separate from me
I didn't know
So I thought so many ugly things
I didn't know
They sometimes watched me sleep
Thinking how proud they were
I didn't know
They always checked up on me not to smother me
But to make sure I was always okay
I didn't know
That all the times I thought they were overprotective
Was because they were scared of bad things happening to me
I didn't know
They loved me so much
Or cared so deeply
I didn't know
All these things
I still don't know a lot of them
But he knew
He still knows
The things the youngest doesn't knew
Jun 24, 2016
Jun 24, 2016 at 9:21 PM UTC