“Check on your people.”
And that’s not wrong, no,
that’s a “hey, thanks man, really, because—“
Because you never know which of the people you share this earth and your love with that some other guy who had a bad day, or who sees someone who doesn’t look like them and doesn’t register them as a person with a life and love they share and carry,
and just snuffs that sh— right out,
not even a “how do you do,” or a “thank you very much..”
You see the goofy grin of the woman behind the counter at the gritty old “ADULT NOVELTY SHOP”
and think “Ayeee, that’s good people!—“
And some cop sitting at Auto Zone watching her with his lights out because he got called out for watching her with them BEAMING thinks, “hey, there’s that ALMOST white people,” or “hey, there’s that girl who reminds me girls don’t like me and it’s all their fault and not mine cause they aren’t flattered by being harassed taking the trash out at work,”
or just a “hey, i had a bad day and i didn’t get to remind this person i could shoot them and get away with it because of a blue stripe, lol.”
Because all it takes for some white dude with a bad mustache and a worse hairline playing bad cop in a not-quite closed plaza on West Avenue who barks orders just a little too loud and pretends you ain’t speaking clear to remind you he can shoot you and it won’t even sound that bad,
after all, your store isn’t a legitimate enough business because his mom told him not to stare driving by as a kid,
or some crap like that, who knows,
because you’re too busy watching him go for his gun like he’s playing a game of how fast can I make it sound like—
but hey now, that’s speculation, and your ID he took is over his body cam, for some reason, but you’re pretty sure pointing that out is gonna be the equivalent of pulling a trigger, so let’s get back to reality—
but that is reality. that was reality.
Some guy went to the police academy with a prejudice problem or some virtue issue or just a little too much of that Tate guy on a podcast and now a whole life is hanging in the balance and he just wants an excuse, any excuse, and then you’re a god-knows-what they’ll say to make “unarmed 5’3 hard of seeing chick” into something people will equate to as easy to dispose of as my trash should have been, if I didn’t hit some guy with red and blue lights hate sensor by breathing outside the door.
So yeah, check on your people, because somebody would probably check em out of their remaining lifespan for the shape of their eyes or whatever it was this time—
But hey, if you can, maybe somebody should check THOSE people,
maybe if that guy or any of those that-guys is your cousin, or your sisters ex boyfriend,
maybe if you’re just a little bit more of a person with rights to them for whatever reason they choose to draw their blue line and pretend the red streaks across the ground are evidence the next person they put down like a dog in the street equates to such in value—
you could check em.
“hey man, I think it’s really fu—d up that your trigger finger is so itchy for anyone whose name starts with letters B through—“
and if I’m not here to check on someday—
yeah, take that sh— personal.
because it was. because it is.
Mar 21
Mar 21, 2026 at 11:56 PM UTC
I don't want to write about how you're destroying me in ways I still didn't know I could break, but you are. I still won't say the words, the words make it real. If I say the words, I'll have to do something about it. I won't. I won't ever leave you.
Oct 10, 2015
Oct 10, 2015 at 7:50 PM UTC
I love you, and because I do...I want you to find someone who loves you as much as I do—more, if possible. Because you can't love me, because you don't want my love, don't want me. But I love you more than anything, enough to let you go if you ask, enough to stay knowing I'll never be your person, enough to be your friend when it's killing me, enough to wish you a love that's legendary with someone you love back.
Sep 16, 2015
Sep 16, 2015 at 5:21 PM UTC
My friends say I'm building a bridge back to hell by getting back in touch with you, but that's okay.
If hell is where you're waiting for me, hell is where I'll go.
Chasing something that died a long time ago.
Aug 19, 2015
Aug 19, 2015 at 11:17 PM UTC
It's scary. Getting too familiar with another person. Knowing just the right way to kiss them and when you've become so familiar with someone's ****** structure that your noses no longer bump and you just fit together. When you know their favorite places to be touched and favorite ways and how to elicit the best sounds. Slipping into their favorite position and simply knowing they like it the best without ever having to say it. It's ******* terrifying, mapping out the geography of their body with your hands and knowing the feel of their skin and every mark on it. Memorizing their body instinctively and naturally going to the things you know they like. Being able to tell, with your eyes closed, the feel of something as simple as the back of a hand or the expanse of a back and knowing it is them, that is their skin. Being used to their smell on you. Tracing over their face with your fingertips and being able to feel it beneath your fingers even when you're apart. Makes it feel like they're a part of you, knowing your body knows their body and some primitive or maybe too advanced part of your brain knows every inch of them, can remember the feel of them in the slightest moment. It's got me scared as **** You've got me scared as ****
Aug 6, 2015
Aug 6, 2015 at 6:42 PM UTC
Inevitably returning so the sickness inside of me doesn't spill out into his ears and sneak into his brain. Poison from the wounds festering in my sad soul needs to be released, and I won't have it staining the person who has become heaven in a physical body.
Jul 17, 2015
Jul 17, 2015 at 11:21 PM UTC
Pardon my silence. I've been gifting my words to one soul, and one soul alone. I'm incapable of the same magic for any other, and won't curse you all with failed attempts.
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 14, 2015 at 7:36 PM UTC
I don't care about much of anything, but I could care about you, if you wanted me to...
May 25, 2015
May 25, 2015 at 9:01 PM UTC
And now we're both bleeding, both monsters. This is what you've made me into, and you finally seem content with it. Maybe now you'll stay.
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 10:52 AM UTC