Where there once was children catching frogs
in their hands, playing in the rivers dividing the sites,
or trying to convince the camp staff to give
them the branches they are attempting to clear,
There is now only her.
In the bright sun, doused in it’s heat,
her body shrivels in her wheelchair.
I step forward. She doesn’t move.
Her head falls forward. I scoop it up.
Hair lifting from the scalp, slipping away
between the webbing of my fingers.
I place a pillow behind her head and lay it back.
She snuggles into the blankets.
Pills fall into my palm; Red capsules, tiny whites,
chalky blues, and pinks with dust. Carving craters
into my lifelines. I place them on her bedside table.
She asks me to sort them. I throw them at the wall.
Two dozen stick, her mouth falls open, I scrape
them off and pour them in. Her teeth chew
and her tongue savors, I offer water. She sips,
it piles into the stomach. Bulging. I drain it
with a needle. It spills from the sky. The wind catches.
Tornado sirens blare across the grounds.
A scream cuts through my vocal cords.
I stand on the other side of the bridge.
Mud cakes the wheels of her chair. Her voice carries
before falling halfway across the slick surface.
A crack strikes the sky. The frogs beg me to go
inside. The wind cuts the skin. My vocal cords
rip and struggle against the storm. They fly
into the eye. The tips of my fingers catch before
they disappear. She smiles, her eyes slide closed.
A strike crumbles the bridge.
Oct 13, 2023
Oct 13, 2023 at 12:54 PM UTC
Cries ring out around the room.
Beg me once more. I will not stoop.
The shelter is crumbling. Walls turning pink.
Windows fogging up, the gas has leaked.
Trembling hands reach, no satisfaction is given.
The argyle rug we live on is frayed. Rat bones
pile in the corners.
Starvation came and went.
Matted hair is stretched with the fingers.
Plucking and prodding. Dirtied face,
green as the curtains. Pressing deeper
into the walls. The next course is served.
A dead dream, warts, rotted meat.
The others fight for the meat. I rip a
piece of the dream. Bring a finger
to the lips and shush. The dream stops
screaming. Blue skies and honeyed words
capture. Fading into the carpet, resting
my head on the bones. A scratch strikes
the entrance. Silence. Screech. Hiss.
Silence. We open the door, then close it.
It is not an exit after all.
The girl to my left, blinks at me.
I tell her no, not yet. I will wait
for the exit. She blinks once more.
We just have to wait for it. Glazed
eyes meet mine. She crumbles.
The next course has been served.
Oct 13, 2023
Oct 13, 2023 at 12:51 PM UTC
Pigment caked under my nails.
Tasting the metallic remnants of a lost childhood.
The reality is hidden in visions and supposed dreams.
Fed to me, was the comforting hugs of mother and soothing lies.
Grew up in the age of paid horror.
A new appendage is cheaper than keeping the original.
Marked by the price of my body.
Each fall, subtracting, each workout, adding.
Beauty is a curse nowadays.
Each beautiful child is raised and sold for millions.
Each ugly child prays to be one of the lucky to receive the new parts.
Greedy families hope for attractive offspring,
to disassemble for a new future.
A pair of brilliant green eyes can change your luck.
Having blue eyes guarantees you to be blind.
Leaving you with shades to cover the hollow left behind.
Adults will tell you sports lead to a promising future.
But they don’t tell you that it’ll lead you to losing your body.
Self-harm is a death sentence. A cut drops your value.
It forces you into the career of taking. Taking the beauty from the beautiful.
Cutting a limb or two won’t hurt them. Taking an eye is just life.
Tell yourself they should know better. They should’ve expected it.
Expect the unexpected when you are beautiful. Expect a life of pain.
Expect misery and lose those emotions when you are ugly. You won’t need that conscience.
Forget about the forgotten already. Use that arm to grab a new leg.
Use your head to get a better one.
Use your emptiness to end others. They won’t need that life.
And don’t forget, to use your misery.
The more miserable you are, the better off the world is when you end it.
Nov 8, 2020
Nov 8, 2020 at 8:48 PM UTC
It starts with curiosity
It starts with impulse
One cut here
One cut there
It wont get out of hand
I swear
Impulse continues
This awful addiction
You know it's wrong
So you cover it up
Bracelets
Long sleeves
Kiss swimming goodbye
You can't swim in long sleeves
The habit never ends
You know it's true
The pull is always there
Waiting for you
Mar 5, 2020
Mar 5, 2020 at 11:49 AM UTC
Wrists
Childish wrists
Soft and white
Aside from a few lines
Wrists
Scarred and rough
Raised along different points of the wrist
Hundreds of lines on this one
Old lines
Wrists
Bruises from a tight grip
Soft little lines
Not noticeable to anyone
but the wrist
Wrists
Teary wrists
Cried into often
Soft and pale
Wrists
Everywhere
On everyone
Yet no one notices
The little signs
Mar 5, 2020
Mar 5, 2020 at 11:39 AM UTC
The stars shine bright
as the moon emits light
It's all prettier than I write
I write about depression
My obsessions
and my daily confessions
It's easier to write
than to fight
most of the time
I write by candlelight
or so I wish
I instead write by a LED light
The one I bought on wish
but that's not the important bit
The sun & the moon
will always upstage
this fool
after all,
they're too
**** beautiful
Mar 3, 2020
Mar 3, 2020 at 8:45 AM UTC
The rage bubbles
Like lave trapped in a cage
The pain troubles
my poor little page.
I write about madness
my poor little brain
it feels me going mad
As I write my last refrain
The happiness seeping in
as the voices try to win
They aren't doing a very good job
cause they soon turn into a blob
The happiness lets me know I won
the war of surviving a day more
I let the sadness go
As I reach for the light
to let the good dreams come
after another day won
Mar 3, 2020
Mar 3, 2020 at 8:42 AM UTC
The warm rays of the sun on my back
The soft wet grass underneath my feet
Soft clouds glide across the sky above
The birds chirping morning melodies
Everything perfect
Close your eyes and open them
Welcome back to the real world
The cold rain pouring on my back
The muddy debris filled grass no one steps in
The overly polluted sky
The cawing crows
Reality really bites
Mar 3, 2020
Mar 3, 2020 at 8:40 AM UTC
I lifted my head
From my hospital bed
To find an IV
And some meds
"Am I dead"
I say aloud
"No,
Not yet"
A scary grin on his face
And eyes that lust for my death
He takes a step in my direction
With a knife in his left
"So long my good friend"
He says
With a creepy grin
Just moments
Before my very ****** death
Mar 3, 2020
Mar 3, 2020 at 8:36 AM UTC
He was lost
On the sea
Of exhaust
He was tossed
From his own mind
Because of his home life
He thought
He would never be found
After all, It was his fault
Until someone talked
Telling him how to heal his wound
He was shocked
Because someone knocked
And found
A lost child
Mar 3, 2020
Mar 3, 2020 at 8:34 AM UTC