i.
Abyss.
Cocooned within an infinitely bounded vacuum
A smile eclipsed by resonating quiescence.
This emptiness
kills.
I yearn to sculpt the carvings of camouflaged tears
through 3 am poetry
but yellow sheets emptier than my dreams
embrace
as I dangle amidst kaleidoscopes of barren yesterdays.
Even words have failed me tonight.
ii.
Chaos
Twirling against haemoglobin tiles
deranged voices heist the oxygen from my lungs
as I gasp
against a narrowing rib cage.
Insanity tattooed within mascara embroidered eyes
I hear you over and over
screaming, screaming, screaming,
and I explode
into scarlet fragments of nothingness.
iii
Adieu
I used to build esoteric constellations with
the stars in my eyes
and tuck away the moon underneath
my smile
But now my irises bleed the tales of fallen stars and a widowed sky.
Whiskey memories sway against burnt edges of my windowpane
as I spiral into an expanse of toxic ruins
of myself,
falling
falling
falling
falling
fallen.
Oct 20, 2018
Oct 20, 2018 at 10:18 PM UTC
Exquisite catastrophe
Imprinted within fiery intuitions
That envelop her existence.
Entangled in curtains of ashes,
She tries to burn smoke
With the ice
That has imprisoned
Her smile.
The quest for paradise
Cotinues, as she drowns
In volcanoes
Of abhorrence.
Arctic ruins embedded within infernos.
Her kingdom topples
Swords of sanity
Dissolve
Into vapour.
Her final words
Kiss the wind.
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 11:50 AM UTC
When the ink kisses the last traces of my words,
So exquisitely penned,
My putrescent heart hammers one final beat
Because the perishable is ethereal
We never do water artificial flowers.
So I smile
And breathe in eternal obscurity.
Like watercolours
I fade away
Apr 17, 2018
Apr 17, 2018 at 11:14 PM UTC
Daddy please! Don’t do this!
Sir I’m begging you!
Help me! Somebody! Anybody!’
I heard. She heard. He heard. They heard. We heard. Who helped?
Five year old, hiding underneath the bed
Shivering, terrified, petrified
Alchohol bottles lying scattered, cigarette buds gazing up at her
Papa’s touch still imprinted in her quivering mind
She heard mama screaming, mama was leaving her home
A scream lodged in her throat, oh no papa was opening the door
He caught her pretty soon and his rough hands left a mark
In her body, in her voice, soul and heart.
That’s not true! He is a respectable man. He would never do that!
Ten year old, spending hours in the shower, reliving the same old tragedy, going mad,
Had a mother, has a father but yearns for a mom and dad
Threatened by her teacher, ‘I’ll fail you if you say’
‘Please sir, don’t do this’ she begged but he wouldn’t let go of his prey
Battered and bruised, now nowhere else to go
Just another child, had too little time to grow.
A teacher sleeping with his student? This girl is insane! Spewing lies like that!
Fifteen year old, a smile lost in the breeze, arms adorned with paintings
Cries echoing in the space so timeless, no one could see past the smile she was feigning
Strangers in darkness became her breathless nightmare
Her body was bare and her sanity broken beyond repair.
What a ***** Such a ***** What was she wearing?
Nineteen year old, far too gone, one step from the edge
A rope, a cloth, a bottle and a blade, yes she was well prepared
‘This world doesn’t deserve my love, my smile, my life
My mind is way too saturated with hate, so this is my final goodbye’
Teenagers nowadays! Always choosing the easy way out. It’s all her fault!
Apr 5, 2018
Apr 5, 2018 at 2:51 AM UTC
Weaving my feelings and stringing the letters
Into a garland of unsaid words
I let my soul ***** the crumpled blank sheets
By desires kept hidden behind tiny locked doors
Bleeding with suppressed, innocent thoughts
I stain the yellow papers with unshed tears
Jumbled sentences speak with raw power
Tearing through smudged ink and my soul
Every forgotten memory captured between the pages of my journal
Bring back those times that had been so blur
And here I am- Sitting huddled up in my room, nibbling my pen, wondering
If actions really speak louder than words....
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 2:24 AM UTC
As we walked past the gardens of doom,
You saw the lilies breathing in the warm summer air, smiling, so blissful
I did too.
You felt the wind caress your porcelain face and whisper words of love
I did too.
You heard the solitary melodies laugh and lift your happy soul until you reached utopia
I did too.
But you never saw the mystic rose, the daughter of darkness, gaze into your soul
You never felt the fire devour all hopes, them bleeding into crimson black ashes
You never heard those satanic voices sing you to sleep, a peaceful lullaby
But I did.
So come my love, hold my hand,
Let me rejoice in the echo of your screams,
Let me be the Joker to your Quinn
Let our watercolours fade into distant tattoos of eternal darkness.....
Apr 1, 2018
Apr 1, 2018 at 11:58 PM UTC
Walking
Alone
Into the pain
Into my home
Made of bricks
And bones
With a ghost
On my arms
And a ghost
Of a smile
Etched deep inside.
Misery
Drinks me in
But pain
Is a drug
And hate
Is a rug
I cannot sleep without
Pleasure floods
But I hear them shout
Don’t do it
But I rip my skin
Gaining relief
In the sin.
*********
I was
And *********
I’ll remain
My screams
Fire me
My dreams
Lift me
I’ve fallen
Into the abyss
Of pain
And more pain
But for the pleasure
That shoots
And the pleasure
That loots
My senses
I would do it
All over
again.
‘Cause I know
Pleasure is just a pretence
Pain is the essence.
Mar 17, 2018
Mar 17, 2018 at 4:17 AM UTC
A puppet.
And a broken toy.
Sitting at the edge of something beautiful
Yet I’m running from my reflection
Smiling at the camera, with your arms around me
Yet screaming, crying, breaking
Who have I become?
What have I become?
Standing at the pinnacle of happinesss
But waking up the next second
Seeing the sun smile down gently
But feeling the drought choke my throat
Seeing the rain caress my skin
But feeling the hailstones pierce my soul.
Mirrors shattering, bombs exploding
Still hopelessly waiting for a release.
The black sky mocks my black heart
Asking who has a better shade
The world explodes in neon colours of love
Coaxing me to smile, but I can only ask
How can a raven change into a dove?
Do you see me now?
Are you still proud of your child?
Now dangling from the cliff
What am I holding onto?
I see you there
Your voice is a faint melody I yearn to erase
They are telling me to stop
But I’m far too gone
And I jump.
Mar 17, 2018
Mar 17, 2018 at 4:15 AM UTC
If you can't see the tears in my eyes,
How will you see the fire in my heart?
Feb 9, 2018
Feb 9, 2018 at 3:56 AM UTC
She opened her fragile eyes only to see a tensed face,
Anxiously staring back at her, as if in a daze.
She danced in her tiny frock, without a worry in the world
She was after all a four year old bundle of joy, yet to face the difficulties hurled.
Growing up wasn't as easy as she had thought, just another eight year old
Occasional fight with mom, still young and servile.
She was now thirteen, crying, breaking, struggling to cope
Unexpected quagmires on the way left her desperately holding on to a vanishing ray of hope.
She turned eighteen, the debris of her once beautiful life underneath her feet
Every fragment of the shattered mirror portrayed her sunken eyes, the pain was bittersweet.
Twenty now, and their callous words still echoed within the steel bars of her heart
When did it get so complicated?she whispered softly, as she saw her life fall apart.
She was twenty five already; with bleeding hands she slowly picked up the scattered pieces, but now she was sure
She would not look back, and for the first time act brave and mature.
She promised herself to never believe their cruel words again
Bullies will always be bullies, it's time to forget the pain.
She learnt to dance in the rain, learnt to laugh again
She learnt to throw her hands around and live like a child again.
Life is beautiful but short, so never say never
Live it to your fullest, forever and after
Feb 8, 2018
Feb 8, 2018 at 10:25 PM UTC