Nights like tonight I'm stuck
In this never ending loop
Cant get free
No matter how hard I try
My past wont let go
I will always be that little girl naked, trembling, terrified
Nights like tonight
I ask why did you steal my soul
When you touched my body
How could I just lie there
And let you
Again and again
Nights like tonight I beg for relief
Will I ever be able to forgive myself
Can I stop seeing that reflection
Get the sound of your breath,
The smell of your sweat
The weight of your body
Out of my head
Nights like tonight
I wonder will I ever be whole
Or is all of this suffering eternal
Nights like tonight
I just wish for the end
Mar 2, 2019
Mar 2, 2019 at 11:50 PM UTC
I scream
I shake
I *****
Its just a nightmare
He is grabbing my hair
He is holding me down
He is pulling off his pants
Its just a nightmare
It feels so wrong
It hurts so bad
It lasts for eternity
Its just a nightmare
I wake up
He is no longer here
It is over
Its just a nightmare
Can't let go
Can't stop crying
Can't move on
Its just a nightmare.....
Dec 18, 2018
Dec 18, 2018 at 12:23 AM UTC
It hurts so bad
Not the pain of today
Not even the pain of yesterday
Maybe the pain of a lifetime ago
Not any less
Definitely more
My adult mind is realing
Punishing the little girl I was
The little girl who accepted so much
Fought so little
Torn apart by what I could have done
Beaten down by what i should have done
Terrorized by what I didnt do
Haunted by what I did
I survived
I am alive
But when will I start living
Aug 18, 2018
Aug 18, 2018 at 12:49 AM UTC
Love lost
This day aches my soul
I thought you were the one
I thought you knew me better than I know myself
I told you everything
Bore my soul
This betrayel burns deep
searing the heart within me
Yet through my tears
I stand tall
I know I am strong
Hurt by so many
Shattered time and again
I always put the pieces back together
Today i cry for You
Tomorrow maybe the same
But then
I move on
Time has shown me again and again
I am my only true friend
My one true love
will remain
Me
May 22, 2018
May 22, 2018 at 10:20 PM UTC
Dont open my eyes
Dont move a muscle
Pretend to sleep
Hope with all my might
Just leave me alone
I dont want to be touched
I dont want to be for your profit
I am just a good little girl
I am not your slave
I am not your toy
I want more
I want my freedom
I can't take this pain inside
Are you done yet
The blood on the sheets
The blood on my legs
Remind me what a good little girl I was for you
I hate you
I hate myself more
I want to be strong
I want escape
I want to tell
I never will
These secrets
This pain
This fear
I will carry to my grave
Like a good little girl
May 22, 2018
May 22, 2018 at 6:33 PM UTC
My chest is heavy
Calm down you say
My breathing is rapid
It's no big deal you say
My heart is racing
What's the problem you say
My words are caught in my throat
She wants attention you say
My head is spinning
She is being dramatic you say
My whole body is trembling
Why do you act like that you say
My tears won't stop falling
Don't act so weak you say
My screams echo inside my head
It's just another day you say
My mind broken and realing
You're so bothered by little things you say
My heart is shattered, unrepairable
Why do you say all these things you say
May 19, 2018
May 19, 2018 at 10:54 PM UTC
I lay here trembling
A smell lingers in my nose
Tears roll down my cheeks
A breath on my neck
Will not close my eyes
A ruff hand holding me too tight
I can't breathe
A grave voice in my ear
I'm falling apart
It never ends
May 19, 2018
May 19, 2018 at 10:34 PM UTC