StarKidiot - Hello Poetry

there are no stars in the sky but there you are smiling, bright enough to outshine even the sun. a plane flies overhead not quite a shooting star but i make a wish anyway

0

Sep 15, 2024

Sep 15, 2024 at 5:47 PM UTC

Untitled

there are no stars in the sky but there you are smiling, bright enough to outshine even the sun. a plane flies overhead not quite a shooting star but i make a wish anyway

6

at the end of the night i find myself once again alone because of course i am alone when have i ever been anything other when will i finally stop being so lonely

0

Aug 22, 2024

Aug 22, 2024 at 10:15 PM UTC

Untitled

at the end of the night i find myself once again alone because of course i am alone when have i ever been anything other when will i finally stop being so lonely

10

I thought i could count on somebody to hold me up as i fall to hold me together as i crumble. but here i stand alone again and tired of myself. and the sun now shines through the cracks in my mind. iwant to be warm but im always cold and i feel myself turning to stone. and cold metal fills my lungs. and im choking on shards of glass. im biting my nails, and spitting out dirt.

0

Aug 20, 2024

Aug 20, 2024 at 2:35 PM UTC

09/12/2018

I thought i could count on somebody to hold me up as i fall to hold me together as i crumble. but here i stand alone again and tired of myself. and the sun now shines through the cracks in my mind. iwant to be warm but im always cold and i feel myself turning to stone. and cold metal fills my lungs. and im choking on shards of glass. im biting my nails, and spitting out dirt.

15

when i die bury me with my baby teeth so the little girl i used to be knows she was loved and remembered dont let her be forgotten

0

Aug 20, 2024

Aug 20, 2024 at 12:47 AM UTC

baby teeth

when i die bury me with my baby teeth so the little girl i used to be knows she was loved and remembered dont let her be forgotten

6

all this love inside me and still i am lonely but not like i used to be. it doesnt ache the same way. im not weighed down by this impenetrable grief, rather it is something that i carry with me. a brooch of misery pinned to my lapel this sadness, is so delicate like a flower, watered with my own tears. when people say it gets better, is this what they mean? do they mean that the depression never goes away but becomes a quiet hum in the back of your mind, forever playing its solemn tune?

0

Aug 19, 2024

Aug 19, 2024 at 1:29 PM UTC

Untitled

all this love inside me and still i am lonely but not like i used to be. it doesnt ache the same way. im not weighed down by this impenetrable grief, rather it is something that i carry with me. a brooch of misery pinned to my lapel this sadness, is so delicate like a flower, watered with my own tears. when people say it gets better, is this what they mean? do they mean that the depression never goes away but becomes a quiet hum in the back of your mind, forever playing its solemn tune?

13

falling back to bad habits to keep me comfort in these days that are too inconsistent for my liking. i feel the pangs of hunger and i think there is something inside of me. a monstrous something a glutton. i beg and i plead and i shout into the void "this is not me" but at the end of the day, when night begins its shift into morning i find myself eating something. i dont know what it is. i look in the mirror and am unsure of who i am looking at. who is that person with the blood dripping down their mouth? their face twists and contorts again. it looks familiar, but it has no name. their smile is like a gaping wound and their eyes are so dark they appear black. the hunger rolls through me again and it aches in quick flashes of blinding pain. i stand up and i cannot see. i am shrouded in darkness and i witness the world get reconstructed in my view. i cant remember what i was thinking. i felt it coming though. unable to stop this invisible force brought on by restriction that i know will eventually lead to a binge. my stomach hurts. i do not get food. im breaking out again. i spent so much money on skincare that i dont even know will work. will i ever find control? consistency?

0

Aug 19, 2024

Aug 19, 2024 at 1:28 PM UTC

Untitled

falling back to bad habits to keep me comfort in these days that are too inconsistent for my liking. i feel the pangs of hunger and i think there is something inside of me. a monstrous something a glutton. i beg and i plead and i shout into the void "this is not me" but at the end of the day, when night begins its shift into morning i find myself eating something. i dont know what it is. i look in the mirror and am unsure of who i am looking at. who is that person with the blood dripping down their mouth? their face twists and contorts again. it looks familiar, but it has no name. their smile is like a gaping wound and their eyes are so dark they appear black. the hunger rolls through me again and it aches in quick flashes of blinding pain. i stand up and i cannot see. i am shrouded in darkness and i witness the world get reconstructed in my view. i cant remember what i was thinking. i felt it coming though. unable to stop this invisible force brought on by restriction that i know will eventually lead to a binge. my stomach hurts. i do not get food. im breaking out again. i spent so much money on skincare that i dont even know will work. will i ever find control? consistency?

25

i am a creature of rage and love of blinding light, a thousand suns burning away at night. the line between desire and anger is a blurry one at times i feel split in two with hatred for the world, for the cruelty of man and with joy for nature, for a fleeting existence i love in the way that i hate, with all of me a fiery passion threatening to take me down with it i love and i hate like i breathe, erratic and intentional within me are billions of embers, anything around me caught within the crossfire. i will burn to ash before my love turns cruel blurred as the line may be some days i am disgusted with my rage, my hate the cruelty that grows within me, never dying down. there is no part of me that is dormant other than an ability to regulate how i feel. i am aflame at all times or i am empty save for bits of ash clinging to my gums, dusting my eyelashes. the wind stirs up another flame from the embers and the cycle repeats itself.

0

Aug 19, 2024

Aug 19, 2024 at 1:26 PM UTC

Untitled

i am a creature of rage and love of blinding light, a thousand suns burning away at night. the line between desire and anger is a blurry one at times i feel split in two with hatred for the world, for the cruelty of man and with joy for nature, for a fleeting existence i love in the way that i hate, with all of me a fiery passion threatening to take me down with it i love and i hate like i breathe, erratic and intentional within me are billions of embers, anything around me caught within the crossfire. i will burn to ash before my love turns cruel blurred as the line may be some days i am disgusted with my rage, my hate the cruelty that grows within me, never dying down. there is no part of me that is dormant other than an ability to regulate how i feel. i am aflame at all times or i am empty save for bits of ash clinging to my gums, dusting my eyelashes. the wind stirs up another flame from the embers and the cycle repeats itself.

20

i wake up a few times in your room in the quiet dark an unfamiliar place and yet i settle down and ease up when i open my eyes and see your soft hair, your sleeping face. i pull myself in closer to you, the need to write buzzing at my fingertips but i dont want to lose any time. so instead, quietly, i lay and watch you, comfortable and content in your rest. i close my eyes, bury my face in your chest. your arms come up around me in your sleep and it feels like my heart is being torn apart. blossoming open and making space for more love. looking at you is an entirely unique experience of emotion and exhilaration. new emotions flood me, not yet named. something grows within me permeates and overflows, an outpouring of something akin to love but that is so much more than just that. i close my eyes again and sleep comes easy. i wish this time with you would never end, that i could stay dreaming in your arms forever. i wish i could tell you how much i love you. but its an impossible task. how do you name something evergrowing? how do you quantify the unquantifiable? words and actions could never come close. but i hope they can suffice. satisfy that hunger in your veins, the ache in your heart that begs for things real and true. my heart aches for you lurching forward, pulling me towards you. undeniable attractive and love and lust and love again. to lay in your arms is to know love at its purest form

0

Aug 19, 2024

Aug 19, 2024 at 1:24 PM UTC

Untitled

i wake up a few times in your room in the quiet dark an unfamiliar place and yet i settle down and ease up when i open my eyes and see your soft hair, your sleeping face. i pull myself in closer to you, the need to write buzzing at my fingertips but i dont want to lose any time. so instead, quietly, i lay and watch you, comfortable and content in your rest. i close my eyes, bury my face in your chest. your arms come up around me in your sleep and it feels like my heart is being torn apart. blossoming open and making space for more love. looking at you is an entirely unique experience of emotion and exhilaration. new emotions flood me, not yet named. something grows within me permeates and overflows, an outpouring of something akin to love but that is so much more than just that. i close my eyes again and sleep comes easy. i wish this time with you would never end, that i could stay dreaming in your arms forever. i wish i could tell you how much i love you. but its an impossible task. how do you name something evergrowing? how do you quantify the unquantifiable? words and actions could never come close. but i hope they can suffice. satisfy that hunger in your veins, the ache in your heart that begs for things real and true. my heart aches for you lurching forward, pulling me towards you. undeniable attractive and love and lust and love again. to lay in your arms is to know love at its purest form

40

i feel sick as though ive torn into something raw and ****** and ate from it greedily, gluttonous as ever. the taste of raw meat, sharp and metallic sticks to my top left molar. it whispers to me that i am all i will ever be. that this is the best to come and that everything else is destined to be dogshit. when i get home i will get a pair of pliers and yank that molar out of my mouth and hunch over the kitchen sink heaving great sobs into the drain barely heard under the whirring of the garbage disposal blood will pour forth from my mouth and i will do my best not to choke. tomorrow the sink will be clean my stomach will be empty my molar still gone, a ****** hole in its place and a heavy weight in my chest but today my top left molar is whispering to me truths that arent made to be shared and i cant wait to get home

0

Aug 19, 2024

Aug 19, 2024 at 1:23 PM UTC

Untitled

i feel sick as though ive torn into something raw and ****** and ate from it greedily, gluttonous as ever. the taste of raw meat, sharp and metallic sticks to my top left molar. it whispers to me that i am all i will ever be. that this is the best to come and that everything else is destined to be dogshit. when i get home i will get a pair of pliers and yank that molar out of my mouth and hunch over the kitchen sink heaving great sobs into the drain barely heard under the whirring of the garbage disposal blood will pour forth from my mouth and i will do my best not to choke. tomorrow the sink will be clean my stomach will be empty my molar still gone, a ****** hole in its place and a heavy weight in my chest but today my top left molar is whispering to me truths that arent made to be shared and i cant wait to get home

18

you sit there, beautiful, a soft smile playing on your lips and i cant help but lean in and kiss them, kiss every inch of your exposed flesh your name repeats endlessly in my heart, a steady rhythm, a loving tune my fingers twitch, longing for you to entangle your fingers in mine you blossom in the soft glowing light and it is a marvel to see, a dream turned reality. i miss you every moment we spend apart, you follow me into a restful sleep, into my dreams. you reach out and touch my face i find myself unconsciously leaning further into your touch falling deeper in love

0

Aug 19, 2024

Aug 19, 2024 at 1:22 PM UTC

Untitled

you sit there, beautiful, a soft smile playing on your lips and i cant help but lean in and kiss them, kiss every inch of your exposed flesh your name repeats endlessly in my heart, a steady rhythm, a loving tune my fingers twitch, longing for you to entangle your fingers in mine you blossom in the soft glowing light and it is a marvel to see, a dream turned reality. i miss you every moment we spend apart, you follow me into a restful sleep, into my dreams. you reach out and touch my face i find myself unconsciously leaning further into your touch falling deeper in love

12