Sponge-shoes-Square-compass

The sharp ***** of a needle draws my attention but lets go fast I welcome you you're hardly even a memory of pain just a blessed achievement of your absence other pain is not so easily muffled by the post of my my head on a soft pillow the dull ache that grows deep inside my flesh deep inside my muscle, my cartilage and bone when I do little or nothing to stop the suffering

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Sep 1, 2018

Sep 1, 2018 at 10:00 PM UTC

untitled

The sharp ***** of a needle draws my attention but lets go fast I welcome you you're hardly even a memory of pain just a blessed achievement of your absence other pain is not so easily muffled by the post of my my head on a soft pillow the dull ache that grows deep inside my flesh deep inside my muscle, my cartilage and bone when I do little or nothing to stop the suffering

12

I am thankful for every pup that crossed the threshold of this door and into my heart I am thankful for the trust that allowed me into theirs I am thankful their capable teaching has taught me to trust I am thankful that not one cowers, paces, barks or cries as some did that first day I am thankful for foster parents ready to share this adventure worth daring I am thankful though some days we may feel weary there is no quit in us I am thankful for adoptive families that take humble beginnings and forge unbreakable bonds I am thankful when pups bury their heads deep in caring arms it is borne of love and not fear

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Mar 25, 2018

Mar 25, 2018 at 8:53 AM UTC

giving thanks

I am thankful for every pup that crossed the threshold of this door and into my heart I am thankful for the trust that allowed me into theirs I am thankful their capable teaching has taught me to trust I am thankful that not one cowers, paces, barks or cries as some did that first day I am thankful for foster parents ready to share this adventure worth daring I am thankful though some days we may feel weary there is no quit in us I am thankful for adoptive families that take humble beginnings and forge unbreakable bonds I am thankful when pups bury their heads deep in caring arms it is borne of love and not fear

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every foster parent asks themselves "the question" how will I let go, how will I sleep? knowing what I am about to ask of myself I understand, I really do I wondered the same thing no longer am I surprised when sleep comes sometimes I wonder whether I really knew a good night's sleep before the question that has pulled me in different directions has but one conclusion love them with every ounce of your being every moment of every day when the time comes to let them go know that not a drop was wasted trusting another with your “baby" is a leap of faith a life affirming leap of faith affording them the opportunity for a lifetime of love and an unbreakable bond an opportunity they never had until you called them yours

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Mar 25, 2018

Mar 25, 2018 at 8:21 AM UTC

the question

every foster parent asks themselves "the question" how will I let go, how will I sleep? knowing what I am about to ask of myself I understand, I really do I wondered the same thing no longer am I surprised when sleep comes sometimes I wonder whether I really knew a good night's sleep before the question that has pulled me in different directions has but one conclusion love them with every ounce of your being every moment of every day when the time comes to let them go know that not a drop was wasted trusting another with your “baby" is a leap of faith a life affirming leap of faith affording them the opportunity for a lifetime of love and an unbreakable bond an opportunity they never had until you called them yours

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one, two, buckle my shoe three, four, there's a knock at the door five, six, pick up sticks seven, eight, lay them straight nine, ten, start over again

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Mar 25, 2018

Mar 25, 2018 at 7:54 AM UTC

counting to infinity

one, two, buckle my shoe three, four, there's a knock at the door five, six, pick up sticks seven, eight, lay them straight nine, ten, start over again

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existing as furniture is a strange experience I recall the smell of her hair, the intense joy, struggle, and triumph once smitten by the beauty of promise the promise of beauty never strayed perhaps if I had been more awful we would have parted perhaps if she had been more awful we would have parted maybe we both could be a little better the waitress brushes by a little too close I think she uses the same shampoo...

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May 4, 2017

May 4, 2017 at 2:16 PM UTC

apart together

existing as furniture is a strange experience I recall the smell of her hair, the intense joy, struggle, and triumph once smitten by the beauty of promise the promise of beauty never strayed perhaps if I had been more awful we would have parted perhaps if she had been more awful we would have parted maybe we both could be a little better the waitress brushes by a little too close I think she uses the same shampoo...

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take my hand and walk with me through vanity jackpot beauties through thorns hold small, hold tight be gleeful, be grateful, be hateful embolden, nourish, disappear be blind, be forsaken dont' worry we're almost home I'll get you almost home

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Mar 7, 2017

Mar 7, 2017 at 8:08 PM UTC

almost home

take my hand and walk with me through vanity jackpot beauties through thorns hold small, hold tight be gleeful, be grateful, be hateful embolden, nourish, disappear be blind, be forsaken dont' worry we're almost home I'll get you almost home

10

I never raise a hand against you yet you cower each day I reach out with love and affection yet you cower each day, one day closer to your birthday not the day you were brought into this world the day you no longer see it as a threat the deepest scars borne of trauma and neglect lie deeper still burdens buried deep in your heart and in your mind deeper still there is beauty waiting to be discovered I wish I could make you forget some hands are not to be trusted

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Jun 10, 2016

Jun 10, 2016 at 8:30 PM UTC

deeper still

I never raise a hand against you yet you cower each day I reach out with love and affection yet you cower each day, one day closer to your birthday not the day you were brought into this world the day you no longer see it as a threat the deepest scars borne of trauma and neglect lie deeper still burdens buried deep in your heart and in your mind deeper still there is beauty waiting to be discovered I wish I could make you forget some hands are not to be trusted

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I'd like to take a moment to thank you please I'd like to thank you please for all that you've done making me the one the chosen one I'd like to thank you please for making me the object of torment you can't keep inside your most insidious lies, resentment and disdain I'd like to thank you please for the all the different ways the sneaky different ways it all came out sideways I'd like to thank you please for teaching me my pain my blessed, pious pain helping me understand it's my fault for showing me how to mend my ways and all your praise I'd like to thank you please for stirring it in my kool-aid that made it go down easy I'd like to thank you please thank you, please thank you, please thank you, please

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Jun 10, 2016

Jun 10, 2016 at 6:39 PM UTC

under the gaslight

I'd like to take a moment to thank you please I'd like to thank you please for all that you've done making me the one the chosen one I'd like to thank you please for making me the object of torment you can't keep inside your most insidious lies, resentment and disdain I'd like to thank you please for the all the different ways the sneaky different ways it all came out sideways I'd like to thank you please for teaching me my pain my blessed, pious pain helping me understand it's my fault for showing me how to mend my ways and all your praise I'd like to thank you please for stirring it in my kool-aid that made it go down easy I'd like to thank you please thank you, please thank you, please thank you, please

28

in the quiet and in the dark everything is amplified everything amplified is amplified again the depth of a breath the beat of a heart the shoosh-shoosh blood rushing through veins in fits and starts electrical pulses race back and forth synapses fire at the slightest provocation hurry up, wait hurry up, wait the endless bustle of an internal subway delivering weary passengers to every destination alone, in the dark I hear their whispers whispers drowned out with white noise by day slipping through the tiniest of cracks running circles in my mind

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Jun 10, 2016

Jun 10, 2016 at 6:26 PM UTC

circles in my mind

in the quiet and in the dark everything is amplified everything amplified is amplified again the depth of a breath the beat of a heart the shoosh-shoosh blood rushing through veins in fits and starts electrical pulses race back and forth synapses fire at the slightest provocation hurry up, wait hurry up, wait the endless bustle of an internal subway delivering weary passengers to every destination alone, in the dark I hear their whispers whispers drowned out with white noise by day slipping through the tiniest of cracks running circles in my mind

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tic-toc tic-toc tic-toc the clock above the mantel recites this steady prose this house stands empty outside its walls the wailing wind echoes through its halls the crows, ravens, vultures invited they all came to pick and divide the mosaic of this life the walls stripped bare the carpets rolled up only the creaking floor protests this naked home above the mantel the crier remains reciting this steady prose tic-toc tic-toc tic-toc

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Jun 10, 2016

Jun 10, 2016 at 6:07 PM UTC

the crier

tic-toc tic-toc tic-toc the clock above the mantel recites this steady prose this house stands empty outside its walls the wailing wind echoes through its halls the crows, ravens, vultures invited they all came to pick and divide the mosaic of this life the walls stripped bare the carpets rolled up only the creaking floor protests this naked home above the mantel the crier remains reciting this steady prose tic-toc tic-toc tic-toc

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