Specialk1706
33/F/Bedfordshire
Way of expressing my thoughts and maintaining my emotional health. Some poems are my thoughts of my situation and some are of those situations around me. If you have any feedback positive or constructive I would love to hear it. Just started writing
I cant cope with this void in my soul
you know the one that I should control.
Its something I just cant seem to fix
does any know if that makes me sick.
There's nothing I can do to soothe this pain
keep feelin these feelings again and again.
I heard the fix comes from deep within
but its like a battle I just cant seem to win..
Docs just want to give you some pills
but the side effects they make you ill.
They just dont ease that mental pain
that keeps stabbing my heart again and again.
I battle with myself on a daily basis
please god take me to that oasis.
But the pain that my family will feel
I will cause them pain they cannot heal.
The guilt of the thoughts tear my heart in two
I can't find a way, don't know what to do.
Should I be selfish or should I be kind
I don't want to destroy those I leave behind.
Dec 2, 2020
Dec 2, 2020 at 2:26 AM UTC
When I look up to the heavens
My heart sits heavy in my chest
I know its where you have to be
Cos God chose you to finally rest
When I look up to the heavens
I wish I had one more day
Just one last conversation
But god said you had to go away
When Iook up to the havens
Its your face I see
I know youre watching over us
We're just not prepared for you to leave
When I look up to the heavens
I know thats where youll stay
But I know if given the chance
You'd come take this pain away
When I look up to the heavens
Its clear god only takes the best
I wish you were still here with us
But god chose you to finally rest
Sep 22, 2020
Sep 22, 2020 at 2:10 PM UTC
So this dating game where do I start
It’s scary being out there offering my heart
My heart rules my head
My head answers back
If I fall for them will they be true
I am the last of the old generation
Online dating what happened to face to face
I cannot keep up with the swipes or the pace
What happened to good old fashion communication
Will I have to rely on technology and apps to find my man
Oct 18, 2018
Oct 18, 2018 at 3:18 PM UTC
As I make I make my final steps of this chapter
I look forward to what is to come
I’ve been broken and bruised and back again
But I’m moving forward I’m my number one!
As I prepare for Malta I dream
Of Sunnier climates and family galore
Who needs a man for a happy ever after
My family is what my soul craves more
The unconditional love that knows no boundaries
No fake I loves just heart felt vibes
Once there was a time I had fallen but this
Is the time that I rise
May 29, 2018
May 29, 2018 at 5:31 PM UTC
When you feel like your not enough for the world
But more importantly yourself
What route do you go what road do you take
How do you fill the void you feel within
How do you fill up the emptiness within your heart
Can you inject the filling to help me ease the pain
Is this a condition is there a cure
Does anyone know cos I have no clue
When you don’t know how to love yourself what are you to do
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 9:00 AM UTC
Can you see me in the cold light of day,Do I look pretty
Can you see me in the cold light of day, Do I look look unhappy
Can you see me in the cold light of day, Do I look broken on the floor
Yes you can see me
I am beautiful
I am happy
I am repaired from your touch
You are lost
You are unhappy
You are broken
Reactions caused by your own actions
Learn from your regret and take time to reflect
Grow and develop be a better version of you
When you meet that special person give them them someone new and improved
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 3:16 AM UTC
It dawned on me your getting old
What if my feelings were never told
What if we were both wrong and strong
What if I allowed this to carry on
My heart told me to reach out to you
To see if we could start a new
To rebuild new foundations
To build upon with new relations
So here we are a brand new chapter
Me and my dad may get the happy ever after
I cannot wait for the day
Cannot wait for 5th May
Me and my dad together again
Putting our feud to an end
Jan 19, 2018
Jan 19, 2018 at 3:03 PM UTC
I write my own poetry
That’s one thing you don’t know about me
Helps me to express myself
To balance out my emotional health
To get out the things affecting me
Sometimes the feelings I won’t let you see
Those feelings deep within my soul
Ones deep beyond any control
I’m my own counsellor you see
Nobody else can help me but me
Pen to paper I start to express
Working towards my own happiness
Everyone needs their release
Balance themselves and find their peace
Jan 17, 2018
Jan 17, 2018 at 12:39 PM UTC
Focusing on my goals and growth
2018 I made some oaths
To develop my self and push the lines
Leave the fear and blockers behind
To build my relations with my father
To try can achieve the happy ever after
To push my career take the next step
Too push myself to new depths
To take a plunge and make the leap
For I am strong I am not weak
Conquer my demons focusing head on
I’ll be a winner and and will say I have won
Here is to me and myself
Here is to success and emotional wealth
Jan 8, 2018
Jan 8, 2018 at 6:02 PM UTC
My Daddy never put me first
It messed me up was just the worst
My Boyfriend put me 2nd best
It broke my heart I was just a mess
A host of heartache and pain
Let this **** happen again and again.
I made mistakes and didn’t put myself first
No return on emotional investment is just the worst
2017 you **** ***
2018 is approaching fast
This time though it’s all about me
Both in tact, my heart and integrity
The only person number 1 is me
Before you approach me you must agree
The emotional investment I make in you
Is reciprocated, I will never be made to feel blue
For now I’m good by myself
Investing in me and my personal wealth
2018 is sure to be my year
My heart will sing and not shed a tear.
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 5, 2018 at 6:09 AM UTC