Spacewalker - Hello Poetry

Everyone always told me they wanted to be me But I was dying to be someone else all my lies kept building up Now I hated who I had become I was dying to leave and be somewhere else everyone wouldn’t want to be me But I’d still be myself

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Mar 6, 2022

Mar 6, 2022 at 9:51 PM UTC

Running from me

Everyone always told me they wanted to be me But I was dying to be someone else all my lies kept building up Now I hated who I had become I was dying to leave and be somewhere else everyone wouldn’t want to be me But I’d still be myself

7

I’ve hit rock bottom Again And again Feels like I’m slamming my ******* head against the bottom. Over And over And over. Isn’t that the definition of insanity? To do the same things again and hope for a different result. But I’m not crazy, I just don’t have hope. I don’t know what else to do. I’ve hit rock bottom and the worst part is I feel like the floor gets a little lower each time, and the fall feels just a little bit longer Again and again, is this all there is? Again and again, I find myself at rock bottom with the lights off and tears in my eyes Maybe I can can climb out But I’m not sure there’s a reason why Again and again, I feel the coldness on my feet And the tears trickling from my eye

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Feb 14, 2022

Feb 14, 2022 at 9:19 PM UTC

Teardrop loop

I’ve hit rock bottom Again And again Feels like I’m slamming my ******* head against the bottom. Over And over And over. Isn’t that the definition of insanity? To do the same things again and hope for a different result. But I’m not crazy, I just don’t have hope. I don’t know what else to do. I’ve hit rock bottom and the worst part is I feel like the floor gets a little lower each time, and the fall feels just a little bit longer Again and again, is this all there is? Again and again, I find myself at rock bottom with the lights off and tears in my eyes Maybe I can can climb out But I’m not sure there’s a reason why Again and again, I feel the coldness on my feet And the tears trickling from my eye

23

Life is filled with disappointment, With hate, With pain, Sometimes it’s ok, Like having *** in the rain, Getting drunk as **** n staring at the stars, late night drives in our run down cars Sometime I can forgot I hate it, even just for a moment Life’s not all bad, it’s just most of it

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Nov 5, 2021

Nov 5, 2021 at 12:18 PM UTC

Blip

Life is filled with disappointment, With hate, With pain, Sometimes it’s ok, Like having *** in the rain, Getting drunk as **** n staring at the stars, late night drives in our run down cars Sometime I can forgot I hate it, even just for a moment Life’s not all bad, it’s just most of it

10

The turn to my house was three miles back. it doesn’t matter, my minds gone black. I keep driving A dark sadness overwhelms me as tears fly off my window. four miles away, I’m far from my pillow. I keep driving A park I just passed has kids playing in the rain Who’s going to tell them their happiness won’t last? I keep driving Five miles now, but I’m in the same place, same problems, same people, same demons to face. I keep driving Maybe I’m meant be alone in my thoughts. I don’t know where I am, in every sense I’m lost . Six miles from where I should be even when I’m home, my house stands empty I keep driving, and driving, and driving Until I open my eyes to find my turn single blinking. With a sigh of defeat, I turn onto my street, there’s no point in running anyway

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Oct 12, 2021

Oct 12, 2021 at 9:05 PM UTC

The Driving Rain

The turn to my house was three miles back. it doesn’t matter, my minds gone black. I keep driving A dark sadness overwhelms me as tears fly off my window. four miles away, I’m far from my pillow. I keep driving A park I just passed has kids playing in the rain Who’s going to tell them their happiness won’t last? I keep driving Five miles now, but I’m in the same place, same problems, same people, same demons to face. I keep driving Maybe I’m meant be alone in my thoughts. I don’t know where I am, in every sense I’m lost . Six miles from where I should be even when I’m home, my house stands empty I keep driving, and driving, and driving Until I open my eyes to find my turn single blinking. With a sigh of defeat, I turn onto my street, there’s no point in running anyway

31

I want to feel love. I want to be loved sure, but to feel it is something new. Something I can’t do. My friends, They do My dogs might feel it too. I hoping one day I can feel it as certain as the sky is blue. Oh, I hope it’s not true when I think I’ll die alone. but who’s to prove me wrong ? as my heart lies, an empty home. Well not entirely empty, Filled partially with coke and and *** and lines of things that could **** me. filled a little with some empty *** and fake gestures of commitment. I’m the problem, but so is everyone else. Why am I do different?

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Oct 3, 2021

Oct 3, 2021 at 4:05 AM UTC

*** noises in the room next door

I want to feel love. I want to be loved sure, but to feel it is something new. Something I can’t do. My friends, They do My dogs might feel it too. I hoping one day I can feel it as certain as the sky is blue. Oh, I hope it’s not true when I think I’ll die alone. but who’s to prove me wrong ? as my heart lies, an empty home. Well not entirely empty, Filled partially with coke and and *** and lines of things that could **** me. filled a little with some empty *** and fake gestures of commitment. I’m the problem, but so is everyone else. Why am I do different?

22

I’m trapped in a box I tried so hard to leave, even with no silver locks to keep me in, I feel pinned I’ve left before But alas, I’m here again Back in the box, I know my place I exist to entertain me and everyone I know, knows where not the same I come from a place of sadness and pain Back in the box of societal shock I know my place, Sitting in my box of shame

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Sep 2, 2021

Sep 2, 2021 at 7:18 PM UTC

Back in the box

I’m trapped in a box I tried so hard to leave, even with no silver locks to keep me in, I feel pinned I’ve left before But alas, I’m here again Back in the box, I know my place I exist to entertain me and everyone I know, knows where not the same I come from a place of sadness and pain Back in the box of societal shock I know my place, Sitting in my box of shame

15

I would of loved you ***** But you loved everone else I watched you day and night Spreading your legs and letting every man come inside but me You didn't even look at me Never even said hello But I looked at you I've always looked at you I couldn't stand to see you violate yourself For men unworthy So now your mine The only man who knows what you want The one man who knows how you like it The only man you need to see Your fighting me now but you'll like being mine eventually

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Aug 22, 2021

Aug 22, 2021 at 5:06 PM UTC

Across the street

I would of loved you ***** But you loved everone else I watched you day and night Spreading your legs and letting every man come inside but me You didn't even look at me Never even said hello But I looked at you I've always looked at you I couldn't stand to see you violate yourself For men unworthy So now your mine The only man who knows what you want The one man who knows how you like it The only man you need to see Your fighting me now but you'll like being mine eventually

16

I'm happy, as long as I don't think too much Don't think about my anger or sadness or anything really that reminds me of how life is so tough Tears of laughter hide tears of pain I laugh like everone else, but it's just not the same My dammed river of emotions is building up again and I think it's gonna burst, I'm thinking more now, and I think this new wave of depression will hurt a little worse

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Aug 22, 2021

Aug 22, 2021 at 4:46 PM UTC

Thinking Thinking

I'm happy, as long as I don't think too much Don't think about my anger or sadness or anything really that reminds me of how life is so tough Tears of laughter hide tears of pain I laugh like everone else, but it's just not the same My dammed river of emotions is building up again and I think it's gonna burst, I'm thinking more now, and I think this new wave of depression will hurt a little worse

9

I've almost done it before, but always by myself. Always too ashamed to ask for help. Tried to force myself off it on my own, but who am I to sit and beg for help on a telephone? I've always had friends with me, yet suffered alone. Hasn't killed me before, so how about just one more though? I didn't do it for like two days a month ago, I'm not addicted. And I wont do it for the rest of the day, I c- I can stick with it Cuz I'm not addicted, I just like the way it feels I'm not addicted, but I'm running out of money for these pills

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Aug 10, 2021

Aug 10, 2021 at 5:30 PM UTC

Relapse

I've almost done it before, but always by myself. Always too ashamed to ask for help. Tried to force myself off it on my own, but who am I to sit and beg for help on a telephone? I've always had friends with me, yet suffered alone. Hasn't killed me before, so how about just one more though? I didn't do it for like two days a month ago, I'm not addicted. And I wont do it for the rest of the day, I c- I can stick with it Cuz I'm not addicted, I just like the way it feels I'm not addicted, but I'm running out of money for these pills

16

I see a man smiling wide in the lobby, But I know there's a storm deep inside his body End stage cancer has filled his lungs, Today he way playing at the park with his daughter in the sun Today was probably his last day of fun Just a brief check up is what I said, Now I have to tell him he's alive, but he's dead He's a dead man walking, but he doesn't know it yet How will I tell him death now owns his breath?

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Aug 2, 2021

Aug 2, 2021 at 3:28 PM UTC

The dead man in my waiting room

I see a man smiling wide in the lobby, But I know there's a storm deep inside his body End stage cancer has filled his lungs, Today he way playing at the park with his daughter in the sun Today was probably his last day of fun Just a brief check up is what I said, Now I have to tell him he's alive, but he's dead He's a dead man walking, but he doesn't know it yet How will I tell him death now owns his breath?

11