Its not a smile
Its dead eyed bliss
Just drown it all
That's the quick fix
That way you can't
Blow out your mind
You'll just miss
Sep 17, 2020
Sep 17, 2020 at 1:37 PM UTC
Rather feel boozed
Than anything else
Rather feel used
Than love itself
Rather be hopeless
Than to be insincere
Rather be hazed
Than to see things clear
Rather dissappear
Than to be right here
Aug 23, 2020
Aug 23, 2020 at 1:46 AM UTC
Could be surrounded
Still stay alone
Idle time letting my brain roam
Places that it should never go
Everywhere feels like a foreign zone
Feelings have turned so cold
Xanax has me in a monotone
Can't get out of this stronghold
More pills swallowed
Downfall should be followed
Jul 28, 2020
Jul 28, 2020 at 11:59 AM UTC
Between my eyes theres
Pounding pressure
Sunny days are the same as
Cloudy weather
Wonder when ill get off this
Couch if ever
Staying drugged with dull pleasure
Always manage to **** it up whether
Its a little bit or altogether
What you thought was once was never
Such a strong f**king four letter
Need to take this bond and sever
Just dont know how if ever.
Jul 27, 2020
Jul 27, 2020 at 11:48 PM UTC
Distorted view
Of what I know is true
Lie to myself
Keep the truth in a box
On my top closet shelf
Lock the door
Incinerate the key
No one here needs to see
That a once happy girl
Has turned into a woman like me
Jul 21, 2020
Jul 21, 2020 at 10:52 AM UTC
Feels like everyone is looking at me
Expecting more than what comes easily
I can't give them what they want to see
Relief hasn't come to me
Feeling so alone
Feeling so low
When it will stop
I do not know
I feel half whole down to my very core
Everything in me feeling so sore
Without you nothing seems to matter anymore
I sit here and feel so alone
Things in my mind broken
Home doesn't feel like home
Things do change, but it feels so wrong
It turns out, I'm not very strong
Jul 21, 2020
Jul 21, 2020 at 10:08 AM UTC
Uh-Oh.
My drug abuse has broken loose
Where's my white flag
Wave of truce
The thought of certain pharmaceuticals has me knawing at my cuticles
Not Advil or Tylenol
But the ones that make me feel like I have it all
Jul 20, 2020
Jul 20, 2020 at 6:03 PM UTC
I run from 2
One is red
One is blue
I run from red because it makes me feel like im about to break
Not knowing how much more I can take
I run from blue
Not fast enough though
There's nothing I can do
Blue resides in my head and behind my eyes
Blue is what I truly despise
Blue so much faster than red
It feels like it owns me
Feels like my master
Red used to be around so much more
Until I couldn't take it anymore
That feeling of dread
Straight to my core
Blue is what I've ran from since I've been eight
Blue is the color I truly ******* hate.
Jul 20, 2020
Jul 20, 2020 at 5:48 PM UTC
I have so many questions
That I need the answers to
But now that you're gone
I have no way to ask you
All I have are photos and a box of clothes left of you
Id give anything in the world just to get one more chance
to stand next to you
Its been awhile and I can still hear your voice
I know you never would have left us
If it was your choice
These words aren't sad
They are just very true
I have never watched law and order again
Since it can't be with you
I wish you knew how hard we tried to bring you back to
But you were already gone
We couldn't save you
These words aren't sad
They aren't depressing
They are as real as it can be
When I think about the first time in my life I saw reality
I know you are gone
You will be forever
But the day that I forget about you will be never.
Jul 20, 2020
Jul 20, 2020 at 4:16 PM UTC