When I love why do I feel pain
Is it love that will keep me sane
Constant judgements plague my brain
The choking feeling a constant drain
I wont let trust turn to rust before even i’m dust
I stand by every word I say
I live for compassion at the end of the day
I will continue to do what I have to my way
In the end I know what my heart weight
Sep 11, 2020
Sep 11, 2020 at 4:29 PM UTC
Im facing one of my greatest fears
My pleas are on deaf ears
People care less over the years
But still throw spears that stop my gears
I lay awake with my mind racing
Disappointment the only thing chasing
Can i keep up with the pain I’m facing
Wishing for help just leaves my eyes sore
Everywhere I look just a closed door
Paranoid about whats in store
Nothing more than an emotional war
Jan 4, 2020
Jan 4, 2020 at 5:40 PM UTC
I ask my self when do i start to grow old
An office block and a tie was what i was told
Exams and hard work was what i was sold
But living a life like that sounds too cold
Even now the outside is an unknown
In a sea of people where i feel alone
Is there something i must atone?
Is this just an empty moan?
Jan 29, 2019
Jan 29, 2019 at 6:44 PM UTC
a numb boys body in the end
barely living, couldn't contend
the misfortune he wanted amend
when all is gone can he ascend?
for the air is thick
and the world is sick
a melancholy wall built brick by brick
the boys name is tribulation
consummate by manipulation
everything but a simulation
but he waits for the last invitation
Feb 9, 2017
Feb 9, 2017 at 3:42 PM UTC
I stare into glass eyes with a saddening
lack of depth,
we are all contradictions to the idea
of a free spirit
how are we free without knowing
we are yet released from social borders
our natural state
man made
We inhale time
not smoke,
lines turn night
to day
stuck with the same kind of people
no room to grow
instead we bury ourselves
underground
collapsed.
Sep 4, 2016
Sep 4, 2016 at 7:16 PM UTC
My room,
Both a death camp and a safe zone,
Rather wither away,
Than face execution.
Open door,
Deep breath,
Failure.
Hand over my feelings,
back to bed,
laying there,
friends were a conspiracy.
Leaving this house a teenage floor of lava,
To the armory,
Wield headphones and an over grown coat.
Open door,
Deep breath,
Stand.
The sun hurt as if i just left a space ship,
Fear of both know and unknown,
On this planet I was the alien.
Open gate,
Deep breath,
Walk.
Pavements conveyor belts,
Pushing out ghouls of society,
Cubicle bound,
Grey walls.
Yet still asked why so scared,
Of what I wish was just in my head,
This earth,
The land of dead.
Jul 10, 2015
Jul 10, 2015 at 1:41 PM UTC
Alcohol, the artificial happiness
Seems cheaper than the real thing
Rooms spinning like depressing theme parks
Pavements became pillows
My mouth tastes like sour ash
The start of the night never existed
It always felt like it was about to end
But time became a fairy tale
Feeling indestructible to the world
But a victim to yourself
A Grenade that lost its pin
Weapons became bottled up.
Jun 26, 2015
Jun 26, 2015 at 1:22 PM UTC
My stomach never felt like this
A stone falling deep into the sea
Going into the unknown
Actually makes me so aware
3 AM felt so warming
Infiltrating my dreams
For me to wake up with a smile
Was no longer rare
I could get out of bed
Take my first breath
All without feeling sick
And that was scary
Stepping outside was now refreshing
Instead of being bashed by the tide
I flowed with it
I found a painkiller for numbness.
Jun 1, 2015
Jun 1, 2015 at 9:44 AM UTC
I no longer cared about sweaty palms,
After I felt her hands
I would catch every disease just to hold on
It no longer mattered. Only she mattered.
Everything but my hand, a void
My body, space;
My hand, the earth;
Her fingers, the sun.
That hand taught me how to live.
Nothing past had mattered
The thing that mattered was this hands owner
Not even the voice that wanted to let go and run.
Following up her goose bumped arm
To a dress that made summer jealous,
Skin that beat fresh snow
And hair like autumn trees.
If mother earth was real
Her real plan was this girl
The sky was made to reflect of her eyes
Then bounce into my soul.
The only time the horde in my brain halted
And the fleet in my stomach retreated
To think the best medicine could be a human
She threw all the pills out the window
Pain killers came through kisses,
The psychotic moods gone with hugs,
Vocal novacane caught tears
And the only sickness was love
Now without her.
Its withdrawal of happiness
Human touch now words on a page
Love hidden under the bed.
May 20, 2015
May 20, 2015 at 2:58 PM UTC
Don't let a piece of paper define you
You write who you are
You don't rub out
You leave a mark
Your romance carved into trees
Your sadness watercolours of ink
Your happiness an explosion of paint
Your anger scrunched up beside the bin
You write essays on stories you don't care for
Read something that makes your heart cling to your chest seeking love
Something that makes your brain question the very beauty of life
Something that gives you goosebumps with feelings you cant explain
They are scared of how strong you really are
Schools don't educate they dictate
Educate yourself
You are the greatest teacher
Your brain is the self made nuke
They are scared you are going to blow
A war that is your true self
Its better to fight standing than fearing on your knees.
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 5:53 PM UTC