You were always good with bad timing, but I think this one was the worst. If I could explain this pain I would but I'm still processing everything at the moment. If its one thing you knew about me was that I couldn't take heart break easily, I guess I'm just one emotional *** person but never would I have thought that you would bring me pain and heartbreak like this. Even though you warned me that you would, i blindly fell in love with you and i wish i could have listened to you. We taught each other so many great things and your love was the best I've ever received because it was like a drug i had never tried before.
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It took me 5 days to come back to this poem and finish it. in the last five days who would have known so much would go so wrong. All it took was a phone call, a little passed midnight, to make me realize how quick a person can go from being the love of your life, to being the reason you hate yourself for being so weak . The amount of disrespect you showed me that night should never be brought down on someone you say you love. I hung up the phone feeling nothing, I couldn't tell if I was happy or angry that you showed me who you really are and what our relationship really meant to you but If i had one phrase to describe our relationship it would be that " I let you in, and you let me down.."
Aug 26, 2017
Aug 26, 2017 at 1:05 PM UTC
And then I asked myself.
How can I still love someone who doesn't exist anymore?
Why am I torturing myself by pretending like I've moved on?
Jun 16, 2016
Jun 16, 2016 at 1:35 PM UTC
I didn't think it was possible you know... to burn every memory we had was like setting everything i've ever loved into flames. Sometimes i thank god for making you an important part in my life because you leaving taught me that words don't mean a ******* thing when it comes to love, and that in order to be happy i didn't need someone to tell me they loved me because i learned to love myself. i lost so much of myself and who i used to be along the journey, i was weak, i was hurt but not once did i give up. No i'm not in love with you anymore, but i wish everyday that i would've gotten the answers i deserved, instead of crying on the bathroom floor. Even after a year there's still one question i couldn't put aside, when you told me you loved me, did you mean it inside?
Jun 16, 2016
Jun 16, 2016 at 1:32 PM UTC
My sadness turns to anger whenever someone mentions your name. Sometimes i wish i could erase everything that ever happen and it kills me that i even think that way now because you used to be my everything. My happiness, my right hand, my soul mate and most importantly...my best friend. I hate explaining the how much pain i had to go through to people because i have to relive it everytime. Do you understand how hard it is to pretend like none of it killed me inside? I hope you're doing fine, and i hope your parents feel better about themselves i hope you live your ******* life too the fullest because thats what you always wanted...was to be happy. So i hope your happy.
Jan 27, 2016
Jan 27, 2016 at 10:30 PM UTC
I forgot how beautiful you looked,
But i noticed you right away.
Tears began to roll dowm my cheeks i cant remember if it was because i was happy i found you or because i had so much anger held back.
I cant describe the pain i felt or how much anger i wanted to release. I just remember crying, and i remembered how much it just tore me apart. but you were okay, youre living the life, you have so much ahead of you snd it tears me limb to limb knowing that i couldnt be apart of that. Are you happy now? Because All i have is swollen eyes
Jan 15, 2016
Jan 15, 2016 at 12:56 AM UTC
It still hurts when someone mentions your name.
Because I know I'll never get over the fact that you were once here
Smiling, laughing and loving. I have to remind myself that perfect endings don't exist and no matter how much you want things in life to happen you have to be patient. But patience doesn't heal your pain, patience doesn't wipe your tears from your face, patience doesn't pick up from the bathroom floor at 2 in the morning....This is why I needed you
Dec 28, 2015
Dec 28, 2015 at 3:36 AM UTC
On this day a year ago
I asked the girl of my dreams to be mine.
But today has been the loneliest.
On this day a year ago I felt so alive and so full of joy.
But today I cried on my bathroom floor wanting to forget you.
On this day a year ago I told you no matter what, I'd always be by your side Cheering you on.
But today I'm still trying to figure out what went wrong between us.
On this day a year ago... I fell in love.
But today you no longer exist.
Dec 13, 2015
Dec 13, 2015 at 10:31 PM UTC
I can't remember your voice, and it hurt me so bad because it's the one thing I couldn't go without each day. I can't remember the way you kissed me and told me It was gonna be alright.
I can't remember your touch and it's something I craved so much, I can't remember the way you told me you loved me and how your face would light when I told you I loved you back. No I don't remember anything but the pain I felt after I told you I was sorry.
And it hurts so much..
That I don't believe in love anymore.
Dec 5, 2015
Dec 5, 2015 at 1:26 AM UTC
So much pain, so much hurt, so much regret and all I can think about is what's next.
How can it get worse?
Or
When will it get better?
Because time is coming to an end.
I can't even imagine my future anymore,
I don't remember the last time I was happy.
I just wish this agony would end.
Nov 2, 2015
Nov 2, 2015 at 11:32 AM UTC
Nothing has changed, just different people, different attitudes but whatever I do nothing changes. I'm trying, oh gosh Im trying but I keep ending up to where I first started, you. I have so much hate, so much regret because I can't change the past, i'm trying to change the present but its like I'm in a constant loop. Why?
I could cry all night, smoke until my lungs turn black, drink until I forget but I can't get rid of you. I'm tired. I'm so ******* tired. At the the end of the day, before I cry myself to sleep, I think about when it will stop, how it will stop. Maybe if I end it.... It will stop.
Nov 1, 2015
Nov 1, 2015 at 10:52 PM UTC