Again I find myself in an all to familiar place
I sit alone quarantined in a room, peering out a window into space;
I replay my mistakes over in my mind
And when I've seen it all I hit rewind:
There must have been something that I've missed
There's got to be a reason that you'd treat me like this;
I've told you before that I'm yours to destroy
I never thought you'd discard me like a child's broken toy:
I sit alone in this dark empty space
Always knowing how easily I could be replaced;
Yet every day, you fed my ego with words of hope
Then you shut me out and shot me through the heart, no scope:
But I play brave and put on a smile
Even though I haven't hurt like this in a while… and that's fine;
I just look down at the wound and the scars
And as a tear starts to form, it glistens like a star:
I thought you knew how I felt, you said
But the silence I get I feel like the waking dead;
And there's no longer dreaming with my eyes wide shut
They've all been entombed like king Tut:
And when they are released I'm the one whose cursed
My life is a tragedy written by Shakespeare, a play I've rehearsed;
I keep lying to myself that there's something more
But in the end when they find me I'll be lying on the floor:
Oct 3, 2019
Oct 3, 2019 at 4:23 PM UTC
I feel like I'm in mourning, but don't want to come to terms
And our lack of communication only adds fuel to this fire that burns;
Our limited time together already puts our love in a fragile state
And with us not being able to talk daily is it going to be, do not resuscitate:
The old saying that we've all heard is a lie
Distance makes the heart grow apart, I cry;
I walk around prown and apathetic
A walking cliché, I hear the whispers he's so pathetic:
I send a love note with my latest confession
I wait for your reply, it's at your concession;
There's no new way for me to sing the blues
So like a jaded cop I think I've paid my dues:
I should wire my mouth shut to keep from shooting blanks
But what's to keep my hands in check from breaking ranks;
They grab the familiar pen and pad
What am I supposed to do, I jot down the ugly , good, and bad:
And in my absence will you turn to another, hoping they can do what I do
And when you think of me, say to yourself, he would have laid on tracks for you;
And I'll continue to write, saying to myself I hope this gets to her
But I genuinely hope I'm wrong and this poem becomes non-sequitur:
Nov 18, 2018
Nov 18, 2018 at 1:28 PM UTC
My heart is split
It's been this way the last few October's
Then you came along
I finally thought that this pain was over
You smiled and said
I no longer had to be blue
But that was just a mirage
I'm so broken without you
All I want is another Sunrise with you
You gave me a reason to fight
But all I've got was this hole in my chest
And it's empty without you, empty without you
Am I destined to spend my lifetime alone
Reminiscing of our last time
I keep a bottle of Jack and loaded gun nearby
In case I want to die
I take a walk with the devil
The pale moon light shows I am restless
The tears flow so I keep my head down
Otherwise you might see I'm defenseless
All I want is another Sunrise with you
You gave me a reason to fight
But all I've got was this hole in my chest
And it's empty without you, empty without you
Sep 30, 2018
Sep 30, 2018 at 1:35 PM UTC
I'm sorry if I may seem distant, because I am
And it's really quite all right if I'm hurting and you don't give a ****
I shared myself with you and told you things I may like
And you not remembering them, is me being selfish right:
It's not that I need you to know every single detail
I should have kept my mouth shut, instead of having you fail;
At first I was just being coy, and wanted to see what you really knew
But the more I asked the sadder I got, like how my favorite color is purple no longer blue:
Or did you know what my fears were, because we both share heights
But I'm also afraid of the entities that watch me when I turn out the lights;
And maybe I'm just being paranoid, that I'm not worth your time
But I've shared myself before and now I'm far from fine:
They say the little things matter the most in life
So when you forget them, I won't lie it cuts like a knife;
I feel like I should have never said anything in the first place because I'm forgettable
But you made me feel I wasn't, then proved me right thats regrettable:
Or maybe I've blown this all out of preportion
And telling you my feelings through these words are extortion;
But you want to know why I'm hurting, the answer is plain as can be
The only question is do you really know me:
Sep 17, 2018
Sep 17, 2018 at 7:41 PM UTC
I can tell by looking in your eyes
That you're punch love drunk, don't lie;
It's ok I'm a bit tipsy myself, as I say come over
But will you love me when you're sober:
Will you still have that same look
When we argue over who has to cook;
And will you still think about my smile
Even when I'm sad and you haven't seen it for awhile:
Will you remember all those times I made you laugh
As you listen to the words of my epitaph;
And will you think about my soft touch
Even as we get older and don't make love as much:
I just don't want you to wake up one day hungover
And when you look at me, think about us being over;
That's why for the rest of my life I'll drink you up
So I can stay drunk, I won't need another cup:
Sep 11, 2018
Sep 11, 2018 at 2:40 PM UTC
My vision is blurred as the sweat drips down
Breathing grows harder, a rasping sound
Muscles are in spasm switching from taunt to relaxed
I feel myself pushing to near collapse
But I hear you scream out to me
I continue pushing in what can only be called a dream
Flesh to flesh, I'm trapped in Eden's walls
I cry out in lust, this is the end and I fall
I say you're everything to me
But can only think of myself, one last plea
Lost in ecstasy for tonight
This is the bitter end, one last goodnight
Aug 21, 2018
Aug 21, 2018 at 9:31 PM UTC
I daydream as I walk in the forest among the trees
And imagine your touch as gentle as the summer breeze;
I close my eyes and absorb the suns rays
Its warmth, nothing compared to yours on winter days:
Listening to the birds chirp as they do their mating dance
Your visage in my mind is starting to enhance;
I smell the moss, grass, and flowers, natures perfume
Nothing compared to your scent, I inhale deep and consume:
And I hear you call out my name and whisper, be with me forever
As quietly as leaves rustling in a zephyr;
But it's just a daydream as I walk in the forest among the trees
And I continue to imagine your touch as gentle as a summer breeze:
Aug 10, 2018
Aug 10, 2018 at 2:28 PM UTC
I'm not blind, but I didn't see
All the love you gave to me
I'm not deaf, but couldn't hear
All the words of encouragement you whispered in my ear
I'm not mute, but I could never say
The right words to make you stay
I'm not numb, but I can't feel
Your presence next to me, this can't be real
I'm not dead, but no longer alive
In this empty home, alone I cry
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 3, 2018 at 8:57 PM UTC
In this vast Sea called life, she keeps me afloat
My heart for her only points true north
Regardless of the days, the ups and the downs, she knows my true worth
So to her the rest of my life I devote
If only I could put her in a Spire, protected by a moat
Because she has my heart beating back and forth
In this vast Sea called life, she keeps me afloat
My heart for her only points true north
In the worst of storms she’ll cover me, a protective coat
My own personal shield from the horrors of the Earth
With her I'll grow old, a fire roaring inside the hearth
I’ll remind her of her Deeds, and I’ll gloat
In this vast Sea called life she keeps me afloat
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 3, 2018 at 8:36 PM UTC
I’m a man writing his own eulogy
Simply because no one knows me better than me;
I’ve told myself no lies, I put up no mask
No hiding behind a façade, no questions to ask:
So when I speak on my behalf just know it’s all truth
I won’t just mention the highlights of my youth;
Sure I’ll talk about the birth of my children
But won’t leave out the bad, I mean we all sin:
I’ll talk about my rough patches and my depression
How I failed constantly, but it wasn’t a loss Just A Life Lesson:
I’ve never claimed to be a perfect person I’ll say
And follow it with but at least I ******* tried along my way:
I’ll quote my favorite songs so you can have a better perspective
So you can know the man writing his eulogy, it’s him being honest nothing selective;
I'll apologize to my friends, family, and those I let down
Just know I wish we could have shared one last laugh and one more round:
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 8:19 PM UTC