to you,
I’d like to believe -
that meeting you was fate,
that it wasn’t just a deranged connection, neither will it ever be a coincidence of sorts.
to me you’re unlike any other.*
Knowing you, was being home.
A place to rest my mind against yours,
A place to be surrounded by the breeze of your thoughts and wisdom.
Where every story you told me was like an age old letter kept in the crevice of the walls,
untouched,
perfectly enveloped;
How is it that amidst a sea of wandering minds, you find a mind that wants to wander yours?
You made me realise that love is easy, that it’s not rocket science and that it isn’t complicated,
That we tie ourselves up in difficult knots
and that love is simply, as easy as it sounds.
To me, you’re familiar -
a past life, a divine intervention or probably a second self as you call it.
You make me want to read you and learn you and annotate you,
with my silly stickies and neon pens, and
fill you up with all my flowers hidden away in dusty old books.
Somedays, your sweet words ask me to write you a poem,
about the whirlwind my life is right now,
and I want to tell you about it;
about how on days when I’m walking the streets of this unfamiliar city
and I look back -
I don’t see the traces of my footprints.
When I come back home
exhausted from the weight that my shoulders could ever uphold -
I find no feather of tranquility to tickle me out of weariness.
When my unhinged, running at 3000 thoughts per second brain
seeks frantically, a resting ground -
It is only ever stomped on with battering noises and formalities.
But how do I tell you, that I can endure a lifetime of lonesome dreary days like these -
If it means that every night, without fail
the warmth of your pacific voice would caress my soul,
That the only thing worth thinking about
is the idea of your presence around me;
even in spirit.
That on some level, I’ve imagined a world that exists in my head entirely built by you -
The expanse of the deserts,
poetry for streets,
walking on water,
monuments for homes,
and you.
but how do I tell you?
Sometimes I feel stuck between the layers of the sky,
A void, nothingness.
The clouds below, the space above.
It’s like I’m floating in mid air, and at times I like it that way,
But I know that eventually I need my ground to steady me;
To let gravity pull me down with all its might, as it should -
But when I put my weight on the earth
Where do I go? and to whom?
I find myself in an endless loop of uncertainties.
Almost as if I’m stranded on a desert of yearning and longing;
and your embodiment is simply a mirage,
falling in and out of the abstraction of us.
In my infinite monolithic dreams -
I see you standing at the far end of the sea
where the sky meets the land and forgets to leave,
and I am like a light stretched out, dispersed in the breeze;
I can almost touch you, but you could barely feel.
At times I read in-between the lines;
I find urgencies in your words as if you’re reaching out,
and maybe you are, but how can I know for sure?
So I sit still, with your mind and my heart -
I sit still and let your words consume me endlessly.
I’m torn between fragments of momentary bliss,
my nights end with the mornings,
and you fulfil my empty heart.
This imprisoned joy, this strange sense of belonging, this purpose of being.
Everything, everything.
These moments of shifted colours;
How long until it’s taken away from me?
On nights unguided by the moon
my thoughts fail me, constantly.
at every bleak attempt made to unlearn you,
there’s a reflection of you on the ripples of the sea.
at every bleak attempt made to unlearn you,
a melancholic ballad takes flight from my heart,
at every page of every book,
in between the lines of Hemingway,
at a peaceful walk
on a silent night
at every step of every way,
Unknowingly, unexpectedly, somehow, through some way
your light follows me, everywhere.
I think holding on to hope, helps.
& I think if I hold on to it like the way that I do -
you won’t be so far away from me;
that your spirit will finally take shape,
that it’ll finally have eyes to hold my gaze,
that it’ll finally have strength bigger than
mine to carry my being.
But if ever, our worlds cease to collide -
If ever your voice blurs into oblivion.
Know,
That your subconscious is eternally linked to mine,
That wherever you go, and whatever you see -
I will walk parallel to you,
even if we’re distanced through space and time;
All my of reality will merely exist in theory, and I’ll accept my grief for gratitude.
I’ll hold your eyes close to my heart, and see whatever you see;
Even in another world,
I’ll only walk parallel to you.
There will always always be a little bit of you in everything I’ll ever love.
All the happiest part of my heart will only ever be yours.
Only your name, and your memories, your words against everything else I’ve ever known.
Oct 4, 2024
Oct 4, 2024 at 11:07 AM UTC
I wonder what it would be like
If I ever cross paths with you
would you look at me with a silly grin on your face,
or look past like you're supposed to-
today I thought of you and where you'd gone
and it wasn't a fleeting image
it was perhaps a journey I went on all alone-
*I found myself walking down this street cluttered with cafes
walls entrapping stories, with ours maybe at the bottom
I saw smiles and giggles and pitchers - half empty this time.
I knocked on unfamiliar doors,
hoping for a gesture of compassion
but nothing felt like you,
The back of the door was an unending abyss
And I still feel trapped in it.
On a lone night, I drove miles and miles
In the city which never felt like home-
listened to love songs about the moon on the radio
as the shadows of us faded away.
I searched for you in the blowing wind
and I searched for you in the symphonies of sound
and perhaps you were there;
but this time I walked right through you.*
My mind still wanders
to unknown places
but this dream ceases to end
But if the silence sets in, and it will;
I will know that I, perhaps have found you,
and then-
*You will remember
the lapse of when my bemused head
was entangled by your feather thoughts.
You will remember
the scent of the solitary flowers
I kept alive in my pockets.
You will remember
sunshine bleeding through trees
and the gold of the moon and a song about it.
You will remember
all the quiet places
where your mind was yours and sometimes mine too.
You will remember
the flick of my hand
and I will remember yours.*
And from that moment on,
I promise-
we, would never part.
Aug 4, 2020
Aug 4, 2020 at 8:44 AM UTC
I am a thousand miles away
from knowing the complexities of a heart
that knows how to beat
but to stop when it is not supposed to;
when there are revolutions of changes
from summer to cold
from dust in the wind to a tale not blown away by mystery.
I’m not quite sure
I’m not sure of what it is -
that makes me want to look at you a little more than I should
or perhaps the struggle to make you look at me-
once
just once.
each day as it unfolds into the night
my eyes search for yours
and they will always-
I know,
never loose sight of you because they know their way back to you
you have guided them,
treaded a path so beautifully I sometimes question-
is it even real?
there is nothing more ecstatic than when you ask me to click you
there is in fact,
no joy that beats the feeling of when you want me to look at you
even through that **** lens.
I scan you, through and through
I now know each and every
wrinkle
freckle
muscle
on your silly face that you make when I tell you to smile
how your eyes reflect the light of the sun
and
oh-
what a sight it is to see those celestial eyes.
trap me in it
I take infinite pictures of you,
every chance I get.
every angle, every way, however you like-
so just-
just stand there
and let me look at you,
a quick gaze.
and maybe just maybe
you can
perhaps see me through.
Feb 8, 2020
Feb 8, 2020 at 9:43 AM UTC
i've been gone for too long
stopped for sometime;
ran out of words
out of emotions or maybe feelings
of a deep, pitch black void inside of me.
but, it feels different now
as if i'm whole, maybe mended;
i enjoy lying on my bed on a sunday morning
as the sun spears my eye,
it doesn't hurt anymore.
i wrote a letter to myself after a long time,
and the first sentence was a happy one, surprisingly;
i wrote about a new jacket i bought the other day,
about filling my basket with flowers i killed,
only to keep them alive in my books.
i feel a change within me, a new spirit, rush
springing up in me, wanting to explode
everywhere,
and honestly-
for the first time,
i feel as if i'm back
back and alive;
Jul 12, 2018
Jul 12, 2018 at 2:14 PM UTC
The stars I see from my rooftop,
that gleam and twinkle amidst the sky.
They stay at place, their home I'd say,
Is where they were, and truly belong.
The wings I feel, the delicate wings,
of birds that share a profound sound.
They help me dream, as if I'm drowned,
In the thought of being, one amongst them.
The sun sets and rise, the glowing globe,
makes me wonder what it's like,
to be able to set and rise with it,
Up in the sky and down in sea.
My dream is not a void, neither is it an abstract need.
My dream is a closure of my raging thoughts,
knocking on doors to let it be-
A part of my deranged imagination.
It is but, a thought; let free.
Jun 30, 2017
Jun 30, 2017 at 9:53 AM UTC
*All I wanna do right now
is break into pieces and
never be fixed again*
Sep 11, 2016
Sep 11, 2016 at 1:12 AM UTC
I used to think a lot when people said, "He's an abstract painting, or she's a work of art, or how a beautiful landscape is always a personification, magic CREATED by someone" and I used to always find myself pondering upon these lines hoping to find something better, so much better to compare my life and this place to. But I'd always fail knowing that there is no word ever created beautiful enough to describe this moment.
What I've learnt from this is that you don't need words to describe something, all you need is - your eyes deep enough to appreciate this moment and your heart brave enough to feel it - all of it.
Aug 19, 2016
Aug 19, 2016 at 12:51 PM UTC
And I wonder if the wind would ever stop,
Causing us a breathtaking death.
Aug 15, 2016
Aug 15, 2016 at 2:25 AM UTC
*You'd laugh a sardonic laugh at the memory of us
and I-
I would just let it pass
With a heart full of sorrow,
mortified by pain and regrets
and nothing else*
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 9:06 PM UTC