Part II
There are only so many times you can kick me out
That I’ll want to come back in
There are only so many times you can kick me down
That I’ll get up again.
There are only so many words you can say
Before they start to sink in
There are only so many times I can lose
That I won’t even fight to win
May 5, 2019
May 5, 2019 at 7:39 PM UTC
Dare do I speak my mind
There is no mask to hide behind.
Part I
I have courage in my potential
Though the times you gave up on me were
Sequential enough for me to stop believing
You are the man I believe in.
You are the man who craves perfection
Though what changes from day to day is its definition;
Your values are skewed and it’s safe to assume,
That I could never truly do right by you,
Unless I learn how to paint the sky
In the hue that suits your mood;
Unless I can devote my time to you
But only on your schedule.
Only you have the upperhand
In every conversation- I can’t stand
That I can’t speak my own, you speak for me.
Every time you pause, I’m interrupting.
Every word I speak is another excuse
You see, I could never truly do right by you.
Or at least that’s how I feel.
It’s hard to know what’s real.
I do not owe you my existence,
And pardon me if I show resistance,
My feelings can come off pretentious-
I am not licentious!
I am not any of the names you spit at me
You claim respect and honor,
But throw respect out the window when it comes to your daughter,
To your daughter who loves you;
Who cleans you and bathes you.
At the drop of a pin when the date is past due,
When a clock has struck midnight
There’s nothing left to say.
Only one question, why treat me this way?
The love you lend is hard to give
Your pride is a house which I cannot live
If my love does better on the outside
To protect my heart I won’t come in.
You can raise your knife and prepare for a slaughter
But please put the knife down,
I am your daughter.
May 1, 2019
May 1, 2019 at 8:36 PM UTC
when I am far away from my body, I like to imagine that I am running in a field. The air is warm and gentle, the grass is tall and soft. The sun is warming the top of my head. And I am running. I have no place to get to, but I run like it’s the destination of a lifetime.
I run because that’s what I want to do. I run because that’s where I want to be.
Nov 29, 2018
Nov 29, 2018 at 1:13 AM UTC
My body is a garden, but that does not mean I'm flourishing.
A tight cluster of pale white peonies
hold together something beautiful
but what a **** shame it’s so fragile
Because there’s a hell lot more.
Those peonies are only a layer
to the millions of roses underneath,
and above a field of scattered poppy seeds
a dash of meadow rue shows how I fell down
and maybe just maybe seeping through
a gorgeous burgundy zantedeschia
will sprout from my wrist if I happen to fall apart.
Purple velvet petunias are blooming
under my eyes and my lips are full and
cracked as a fringed tulip. My eyes,
a deep blue barlow as if it meant anything.
Of course know that I have described
myself as a pretty little bouquet
Don’t I feel beautiful now?
Or is it only masking the truth with
some pretty little words?
My body may be a garden, but that does not mean I'm flourishing.
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 7:48 PM UTC
to feel the sun kiss my shoulders,
and to throw my head back when i cry;
to take the band from my wrist
and let you fill me with flowers.
to know I tried my hardest and
to know that it was good enough;
to smell the dirt and feel the trees,
to be moved by Life herself.
to feel the sand underneath my fingernails,
to hear a song and travel the world
on it’s melody; I’d only feel harmonious
with you on my side.
the world became possible
and the fog thins as I stare Death
right in the face; I’m not afraid.
you’re beside me holding
my hand.
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 21, 2014 at 11:05 PM UTC
Frown upon my withered heart!
and wipe away my tears.
Catch the nightmares, catch my dreams,
ensnare my childish fears.
Protect me, Catcher, put me down
and watch me sleep to-day.
the worries they encase me,
my dream’s the price I pay.
The morning comes unfiltered
the cycle is broken for now
Oh Catcher! my Catcher!
My faithful night snatcher!
Laid a kiss on my wavering brow.
Nov 14, 2014
Nov 14, 2014 at 12:42 AM UTC
An unmeasurable amount of thought
has gone into the analyzing of my being
And why it was my fault that night
I decided to provoke you to such animosity
That I was greeted to a storm of fingers
ripping the cloth from my chest and falling like petals
On your bedroom floor I whimpered, crushed
under the heavy weight of you, Lover
As the thing I knew not belonged to me, but to you
and "No" was the last word I had ever spoke again.
Nov 14, 2014
Nov 14, 2014 at 12:15 AM UTC
I broke down Thursday
And the wind was cracking loud and
beating my spine into an
uncomfortable submission
I broke down
and all the graves were upside-down
letting the maggots see the sunlight
and the wood was damp and splintered
I broke down
and all the rocks became toadstools
and I sat and I knitted a scarf with
all my worries weaved in with the wool
I broke down Thursday
and the car wouldn’t start and my eyelids were
cinder blocks and the colors started leaking
as I realized my battery was dead
Nov 12, 2014
Nov 12, 2014 at 11:59 PM UTC