SadieS - Hello Poetry

Part of me wants to give up. Part of me wants to stay and fight. What would I be fighting for? Us? Our family? Or To continue to being hurt ? I express my feelings. I felt ignored. We’re married. We’re suppose be a team. Wheres the support? I feel alone. Your never there. I needed you. You still weren’t there. At times maybe you were physically there but mentally not. You didn’t see my pain. When I needed you to be my rock. You didn’t see my pain. When you hurt me. I didn’t see the damage it caused me. The flashbacks. The anger. The fainting. The triggers. The assumptions. I asked you to stop. I told you I would leave. You didn’t listen. Your too busy on your phone. Searching all these woman. They were more important to you. You started losing me. Now here we are. On the border of divorce.

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Jun 6, 2025

Jun 6, 2025 at 1:17 AM UTC

Border Of Divorce.

Part of me wants to give up. Part of me wants to stay and fight. What would I be fighting for? Us? Our family? Or To continue to being hurt ? I express my feelings. I felt ignored. We’re married. We’re suppose be a team. Wheres the support? I feel alone. Your never there. I needed you. You still weren’t there. At times maybe you were physically there but mentally not. You didn’t see my pain. When I needed you to be my rock. You didn’t see my pain. When you hurt me. I didn’t see the damage it caused me. The flashbacks. The anger. The fainting. The triggers. The assumptions. I asked you to stop. I told you I would leave. You didn’t listen. Your too busy on your phone. Searching all these woman. They were more important to you. You started losing me. Now here we are. On the border of divorce.

33

You hide behind a mask. Keeping the truth locked away. This is so much that needs to be said in the things you never say. You tell me our time is up. We cannot go back. I just don't want to believe it. I believe you can change. I feel like we can work this out. The distance you have between us is a wall I cannot break down. You continue to push me out. You refuse to let me in. My patience hangs by a thread. But my love for you stays strong. Real love doesn't go away. It doesn't fade away. It goes on forever and always finds its way. I cannot wait for a life time until you to let me in and figure this out. Your hidden by so much doubt. Please tell me, Are we going to work this out? Are you looking for a way out? Lets figure this out.

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Nov 10, 2016

Nov 10, 2016 at 11:22 PM UTC

Let's Figure This Out

You hide behind a mask. Keeping the truth locked away. This is so much that needs to be said in the things you never say. You tell me our time is up. We cannot go back. I just don't want to believe it. I believe you can change. I feel like we can work this out. The distance you have between us is a wall I cannot break down. You continue to push me out. You refuse to let me in. My patience hangs by a thread. But my love for you stays strong. Real love doesn't go away. It doesn't fade away. It goes on forever and always finds its way. I cannot wait for a life time until you to let me in and figure this out. Your hidden by so much doubt. Please tell me, Are we going to work this out? Are you looking for a way out? Lets figure this out.

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I cannot decide which hurts more. The pain from a sharp knife sliding across my skin left to right Or from the pain from loving someone like you

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Feb 27, 2016

Feb 27, 2016 at 1:46 PM UTC

I Cannot Decide

I cannot decide which hurts more. The pain from a sharp knife sliding across my skin left to right Or from the pain from loving someone like you

3

**** ruined you. It ruined us. I thought it was me. My fault. I needed to change. I did my hair, my make up. I danced for you. I dressed in lingerie and costumes but it was never enough. I couldn't live up to lust. Then I learned it wasn't me. I was your love for *********** Slowly this diminished my love, my respect for you. Worst of all it destroyed me, and all my self confidence I had in my self. I convinced myself, *** isn't everything but everything else had seemed right. Maybe we can learn together connecting emotion with action. Conclusion ended up being your lack of desire for *** and intimacy with me. Could it be my fault? **** was always just one click away from any fantasy. I would confront you and express my concerns. Trying to make the two of us work. You only got better at hiding it. *** became a struggle. Neither of us could reach that ****** All you could do was blame me. Then I knew.... You had the case of the prisoners' hand. Could I wear more makeup? What about white tipped nails? Maybe I needed breast implants. Now you want role play and ***** talks? If that wasn't enough could I consider ********* I tried to wrap all this around my head. Thinking maybe these things would work. We could become a couple again. You could never find satisfaction. So there could be no compromise. Soon I lost my interest in *** It never seemed to bother with you. I grew angry towards you. Things began to come violent. You pushed me twisting my arms and wrist. Then threw me on the hardwood floor. As my wrist began to bruise and swell. How I missed being loved and cared for. How I desired beautiful and emotional just plain naked *** All I feel....is lying here depressed. I'd rather stay in bed then walk into you. Every time I see you I take a deep breath, Turn around, and walk straight to bed and begin to cry again. I ask myself... Why did I stay this long? Why did I try so hard to fix something that was never there? For 6 years. I believed you loved me. When in reality you were in love with ****

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Feb 27, 2016

Feb 27, 2016 at 12:40 PM UTC

**** Ruined You

**** ruined you. It ruined us. I thought it was me. My fault. I needed to change. I did my hair, my make up. I danced for you. I dressed in lingerie and costumes but it was never enough. I couldn't live up to lust. Then I learned it wasn't me. I was your love for *********** Slowly this diminished my love, my respect for you. Worst of all it destroyed me, and all my self confidence I had in my self. I convinced myself, *** isn't everything but everything else had seemed right. Maybe we can learn together connecting emotion with action. Conclusion ended up being your lack of desire for *** and intimacy with me. Could it be my fault? **** was always just one click away from any fantasy. I would confront you and express my concerns. Trying to make the two of us work. You only got better at hiding it. *** became a struggle. Neither of us could reach that ****** All you could do was blame me. Then I knew.... You had the case of the prisoners' hand. Could I wear more makeup? What about white tipped nails? Maybe I needed breast implants. Now you want role play and ***** talks? If that wasn't enough could I consider ********* I tried to wrap all this around my head. Thinking maybe these things would work. We could become a couple again. You could never find satisfaction. So there could be no compromise. Soon I lost my interest in *** It never seemed to bother with you. I grew angry towards you. Things began to come violent. You pushed me twisting my arms and wrist. Then threw me on the hardwood floor. As my wrist began to bruise and swell. How I missed being loved and cared for. How I desired beautiful and emotional just plain naked *** All I feel....is lying here depressed. I'd rather stay in bed then walk into you. Every time I see you I take a deep breath, Turn around, and walk straight to bed and begin to cry again. I ask myself... Why did I stay this long? Why did I try so hard to fix something that was never there? For 6 years. I believed you loved me. When in reality you were in love with ****

54

I looked for a word to say. but I could not find one today. I had hoped to find a word that would stay in your heart. That would show you exactly what tore us apart. I hate what you did... I hate you so deeply. I hate what you said... I hate you so passionately. I hate what you made me... I hate you so sweetly. I look at you and I cannot tell what is in your eyes. I speak directly to you but all that comes out of your mouth are lies. I see how you hurt. I see how you hurt me. I just do not understand. All your true feelings are kept and safely hidden in a far far away land. Is this a land we call love? And now it is a destruction. A land God has made from above. And now we call it seduction. Its true in a way we both long for each other. But we both see to long for another. Another human being we both thought we were But now it seems that this human being I thought you were is now a blur. This is a bitter sweet heart That will end in eradication. This is a bitter sweet part that needs some construction. Why I hold on? I do not know. I probably will never know why. I should move forward... Yes But I feel like I would rather just die. You caused obliteration deep into my heart. You caused obliteration because you thought it was smart. I hate what you did... I hate you so deeply I hate what you said... I hate you so passionately. I hate what you made me... I hate you so sweetly

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Oct 15, 2015

Oct 15, 2015 at 12:10 AM UTC

I Hate You...

I looked for a word to say. but I could not find one today. I had hoped to find a word that would stay in your heart. That would show you exactly what tore us apart. I hate what you did... I hate you so deeply. I hate what you said... I hate you so passionately. I hate what you made me... I hate you so sweetly. I look at you and I cannot tell what is in your eyes. I speak directly to you but all that comes out of your mouth are lies. I see how you hurt. I see how you hurt me. I just do not understand. All your true feelings are kept and safely hidden in a far far away land. Is this a land we call love? And now it is a destruction. A land God has made from above. And now we call it seduction. Its true in a way we both long for each other. But we both see to long for another. Another human being we both thought we were But now it seems that this human being I thought you were is now a blur. This is a bitter sweet heart That will end in eradication. This is a bitter sweet part that needs some construction. Why I hold on? I do not know. I probably will never know why. I should move forward... Yes But I feel like I would rather just die. You caused obliteration deep into my heart. You caused obliteration because you thought it was smart. I hate what you did... I hate you so deeply I hate what you said... I hate you so passionately. I hate what you made me... I hate you so sweetly

34

One, Two I love you. Three, Four Is your love unsure? Five, Six He stops and clicks. Seven, Eight Am I just a playmate? Nine, Ten What is it then? Ten, Nine Pass the wine. Eight, Seven You left me heartbroken. Six, Five I am trying to survive. Four, Three I am so angry. Two, One I am Done.

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Oct 14, 2015

Oct 14, 2015 at 9:55 PM UTC

It all starts with One

One, Two I love you. Three, Four Is your love unsure? Five, Six He stops and clicks. Seven, Eight Am I just a playmate? Nine, Ten What is it then? Ten, Nine Pass the wine. Eight, Seven You left me heartbroken. Six, Five I am trying to survive. Four, Three I am so angry. Two, One I am Done.

20

I gave you everything... you took me for granted but I stayed by your side.... Especially the times you needed me most.. .I trusted you... You ******* lied to... .mother ****** I just caught you again again an again.. I can't keep repeating this **** It's tearing me to shreds... You broke me down... Now there's nothing left... you hurt me worse than anyone.... I just can't do this **** you chose what was more important to you.. now I'm saying its the end of you and me.... cuz I'm finally through.

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Aug 11, 2015

Aug 11, 2015 at 1:58 PM UTC

I'm through

I gave you everything... you took me for granted but I stayed by your side.... Especially the times you needed me most.. .I trusted you... You ******* lied to... .mother ****** I just caught you again again an again.. I can't keep repeating this **** It's tearing me to shreds... You broke me down... Now there's nothing left... you hurt me worse than anyone.... I just can't do this **** you chose what was more important to you.. now I'm saying its the end of you and me.... cuz I'm finally through.

14

She is sad but never frowns. She is tired but still living. She is ignored but still listening. She is misunderstood but understands. She is confused but sees the world clear. She is a mess but does her hair. She is stressed but finds relief. She is distant but the end seems close. She is judged but ignores. She is alone but creates a friend. She is hurt and the tears begin. She is depressed and no ones around. She is in pain and it never wants to go away. She is screaming but is silent. She is ****** up and cant think straight. She is worthless and doesn't see a point. She is afraid but find the courage. She is suicidal and the world cant see it. She is Dying. She is me.

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Feb 27, 2015

Feb 27, 2015 at 9:42 PM UTC

She is...

She is sad but never frowns. She is tired but still living. She is ignored but still listening. She is misunderstood but understands. She is confused but sees the world clear. She is a mess but does her hair. She is stressed but finds relief. She is distant but the end seems close. She is judged but ignores. She is alone but creates a friend. She is hurt and the tears begin. She is depressed and no ones around. She is in pain and it never wants to go away. She is screaming but is silent. She is ****** up and cant think straight. She is worthless and doesn't see a point. She is afraid but find the courage. She is suicidal and the world cant see it. She is Dying. She is me.

20

I looked for love inside your eyes. What I saw almost made me blind. I saw a stranger. He was cold, distant, evil, and revolting. I looked for love inside your eyes. Who am I that you are unable to make love to me? Why do I feel as if I am not here with you? Do I matter? I am just a toy in this filthy play. Not a human worth of tender and devotion. Where are you? How did I lose you? As the years pass by The monster inside your eyes becomes clearer to me. You think I am just over reacting. How can I warm to eyes that are making hate to someone else instead of making love to me. I've found where you are. I've seen the pictures. As graphic as can be. I now know what i takes to turn you on. Women....people like me. Tortured, humiliated,used and hated. All these images burned into your brain. Did you ever imagine (at age 12) The first time your seen a ****** photo. That you were dooming every aspect of intimacy. Breaking the heart of someone you'd love. If it all stopped here. I could bear it. Instead you brought the evil in and continued to feed it. As I looked for love inside your eyes. Hands printed, hair pulled Looking the age of thirteen years old. A simple photo A simple video Controling reality, distorting the woman in exaggerated ******* As I looked for love inside your eyes. The evil eyes Windows of a broken soul. Warped by the lens into the background of your phone. Souls never matter Only bodies do To those me. Who consume it (just like you) A image burned inside your brain. A image I see everytime I close my eyes. When does it end? I can tell you this. It has not ended. It has eaten you up. It spreads like cancer. Can you feed off of hatred and anger? Can you break free and learn to love? You say words. Just full of excuses. Feeding your soul on poisen. If only you could see what I see. If only you could feel what I feel. **** has destroyed our relationship. Tell me. Was it worth it??

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Jan 17, 2015

Jan 17, 2015 at 3:30 AM UTC

I looked for love inside your eyes.

I looked for love inside your eyes. What I saw almost made me blind. I saw a stranger. He was cold, distant, evil, and revolting. I looked for love inside your eyes. Who am I that you are unable to make love to me? Why do I feel as if I am not here with you? Do I matter? I am just a toy in this filthy play. Not a human worth of tender and devotion. Where are you? How did I lose you? As the years pass by The monster inside your eyes becomes clearer to me. You think I am just over reacting. How can I warm to eyes that are making hate to someone else instead of making love to me. I've found where you are. I've seen the pictures. As graphic as can be. I now know what i takes to turn you on. Women....people like me. Tortured, humiliated,used and hated. All these images burned into your brain. Did you ever imagine (at age 12) The first time your seen a ****** photo. That you were dooming every aspect of intimacy. Breaking the heart of someone you'd love. If it all stopped here. I could bear it. Instead you brought the evil in and continued to feed it. As I looked for love inside your eyes. Hands printed, hair pulled Looking the age of thirteen years old. A simple photo A simple video Controling reality, distorting the woman in exaggerated ******* As I looked for love inside your eyes. The evil eyes Windows of a broken soul. Warped by the lens into the background of your phone. Souls never matter Only bodies do To those me. Who consume it (just like you) A image burned inside your brain. A image I see everytime I close my eyes. When does it end? I can tell you this. It has not ended. It has eaten you up. It spreads like cancer. Can you feed off of hatred and anger? Can you break free and learn to love? You say words. Just full of excuses. Feeding your soul on poisen. If only you could see what I see. If only you could feel what I feel. **** has destroyed our relationship. Tell me. Was it worth it??

60

You rejected me when I offered you *** But here I walk into your *********** mess. The *********** images were of little teens. They legitally looked the age of thirteen. I text you and confront you. You replied and sounded so happy. I just lost my mind. I flipped. I through all of your **** I punched things. Kicked things. Stabbed things. I even cut and made my ownself bleed. Finally I just screamed. I fell down to my knees. I kept asking god to just take me please.

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Oct 28, 2014

Oct 28, 2014 at 3:25 PM UTC

God Just Take Me Please

You rejected me when I offered you *** But here I walk into your *********** mess. The *********** images were of little teens. They legitally looked the age of thirteen. I text you and confront you. You replied and sounded so happy. I just lost my mind. I flipped. I through all of your **** I punched things. Kicked things. Stabbed things. I even cut and made my ownself bleed. Finally I just screamed. I fell down to my knees. I kept asking god to just take me please.

16