I'm drowning. I live in an ocean. At times, it is calm, at times it is all waves and fun, but mostly, it is wild and rough from an unfathomable storm. A storm as large as a country and just as strong. The storm is hidden by the calm and fun waves but what no one sees is me drowning, just beyond eyeshot. If I try to tell someone I'm drowning, they laugh and say its not possible because I look fine from a distance. no need of a lifeguard, they're too expensive and useless anyway. But when everyone else needs saving, by all means call him, no expense is to large. Don't teach me how to swim, its all made up, it's human nature to know how to swim, it's all in your head. I'm drowning and I don't see any lifeboat on the horizon. I'm drowning.
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 10:16 PM UTC
The cold is biting onto my skin
Its teeth are razor sharp
The ice is getting to my head
I can’t see straight
Is that my friend or the demons that haunt my dreams
I like to pretend but it isn’t what it seems
Breaking the ties i made
Creating bonds of hate
I can’t keep away
It keeps calling my name
Telling me to go here but that's the last place i want to see
Try to hide it
I can’t fight it
It keeps pushing me blow after blow
I can’t fight no more
Can’t you open the door
Set me free from my brain
I'm going insane
Help me, don’t leave me, somebody get me out
I'm drowning, the water’s, to dark to see the light
The deepest, waters, deepest waters dragging me down
Crying, screaming, cause it's dragging me back down here, the place that i fear
Dragging me back down here, the place that i fear
May 1
May 1, 2026 at 5:20 AM UTC
she is happy
she is kind
she is flawed
but she tries
she tries so hard
yet somehow its never enough
she will burn herself out
and they all say "well tough"
she cries all the time
she never sleeps in this town
shes so tired of being the loud one that always needs to be perfect
but she wont ever break because she wont let anyone down
so yes she is happy
yes she is kind
but she wont let her flaws be seen
shes too trapped inside her mind
so they see her as selfish
they see her as slow
they see her as messy
it shows so much it becomes all she knows
so now she sees herself as stupid
never up to par
the backup plan irrelevant and useless
the one they forgot in the backseat of the car
she is such a bad girl
she cant even clean her own house
stop talking your voice is too loud
why are you so quiet like a mouse
she can never just be there
she always has to be who they want her to be
everyone counts on her being who she is
and she hates making people upset so she takes that knee
the truth is she hates herself
wakes up asking why today
why cant i just die in my sleep
no one would care anyway
shes always second choice
and no one chooses her on their own
and why would they she thinks
im young and dont have socials or a phone
she knows shes the "immature one"
the one they can always laugh at
because she's always doing something silly
like talking to her cat
when will she be enough for you
when will you stop treating her like ****
because if you lived a day in her shoes
you would crumble and fall not keeping up the bit
so she puts on a brave face everyday
her lonliness like a tatoo
struggling with anxiety depression and ADHD
if she tells someone they say "oh not you!"
so you wonder why she likes solitude
why she stays up late to be alone
why she loves to escape to perfect worlds in books
why she is sad to her very bones
so she is messy
she is sweet
shell give you her drink if yours spills
make you a cake that wont be beat
why, well because her heart is too big
she love too hard
so right from the beginning
she shows all her cards
if you only take one thing
let it be this
just because she is always smilling
doesnt mean her life is bliss
May 1
May 1, 2026 at 5:09 AM UTC
As fierce as fire
As refreshing as ice
And warm as summer
Full of advice
Gentle and kind
Learned and smart
Ready for anything
The biggest heart
Hardworking and fair
Beautiful as a rose
She’s always helping me
And keeps me on my toes
She might be flawed
But her acts reflect her love
She is well and truly
A gift from above
She loves me so
With her i can't live without
And my love for her
Is without a doubt
Oct 24, 2025
Oct 24, 2025 at 3:19 AM UTC
Rotten wood beneath my fingers
Mouldy carpets beneath my feet
Stars peeking out from holes in the ceiling
Forget-me-not sprouting through the floor their smell so sweet
The smell of promises still lingers in the air
Accompanied by tobacco and newspaper
A threadbare blanket dressing the termite bitten chair
Surrounded by dulled peeling wallpaper
The air thick with guilt
Something happened here
Is it something I should be welcoming
Is it something I should fear
This place holds memories
Maybe some should be left undisturbed
But this place is too tempting
I can’t let it be curbed
So I’ll come back in the morning
I’ll sleep under the willow tree
I restore this place if I must
I will do what need be
If I can discover the history of this place
Why some rotting wood seems to scream
Yes, I’ll do some digging
Because not everything is as it seems
It could be a message carved into stone
It could be the way the flowers bloom
If you learn where to focus and look
You might just open the room
Oct 24, 2025
Oct 24, 2025 at 3:19 AM UTC
The splish splash of rain patters the ground
Feel the rain, the life giving liquid that we rely on
We forget to let the rain wash away our sorrows
Feel the wet soil we dwell upon
Do we fail to see anything but a nuisance
When we see raindrops fall from the sky
We run to take the washing
Tell the kids to come inside
We need to stop and feel
The thunder and pain
That comes hand in hand
With my precious rain
One day, as I watch the drops
They'll hammer the window and ground
The world seems to quiet down
And the thrashing drops will be the only sound
The peace and tranquility of the patter patter
Cuts through the hubbub of this town
For each raindrop,
A tear rolls to the ground
Oct 24, 2025
Oct 24, 2025 at 3:18 AM UTC
Silence
All quiet no sound
Like ice in the air
Like snow on the ground
Whispers of wind
Wisp through the trees
The blistering heat
Crisping the leaves
The grass so lush
So perfect pristine
Seems so quiet
So nice and clean
But it’s a rare sight
To hear no sound
When people walk the earth
And trains rattle the ground
Peace is valuable
Sold for high price
Diamonds and pearls
For something so nice
Like snow on the ground
Like ice in the air
Silence
Oct 24, 2025
Oct 24, 2025 at 3:16 AM UTC
Look at you sitting over there
You dark eyes seem to call to me
I think your looking my way
Not in the way i would want
I know you hate me
You dont have to hide it
What i did will is my mystery
Was it something i said?
There is no words to describe how i feel
Other than telling you straight up
But i would never do that
You would probably just laugh
I dont know how to
Get you out of my mind
But your so addictive
Im in too deep
So to the boy who i will never get to love
I want you to know
Even if you never read this in your life
I have something to say
Iloveyousomuchandihavelovedyouforthreeyears
Icantgetyououtofmyheadandiknowyouhateme
Butiknowthatyoucouldneverlovemeback
Oct 24, 2025
Oct 24, 2025 at 2:36 AM UTC
Sorry for yelling
Sorry you feel that way
Sorry for telling
Sorry for not being okay
I M N O T O K A Y
You are right
I'm the reason we fell apart
I don't want to pick a fight
So i will let you hurt my heart
Y O U M A D E M E T H I S W A Y
If im you punching bag
Give me all your hits
Rip me up like an old rag
And don’t stop until im in bits
I H A T E Y O U
I will always love you unconditionally
Because that’s my job
But you broke me officially
And now the crying won’t stop
I T S A L L Y O U R F A U L T
I think you want me to leave
I can't be that person anymore
You wrecked me so thoroughly
And you couldn’t care to keep score
Y O U B R O K E M E
Keep playing the victim
Everyone believes you
Because i dont fit the system
You will deny it but its true
W H Y D I D Y O U D O T H I S
I have someone who loves me for me
She doesn't ever put me down
So while you think your the one who’s free
I’m the one wearing the crown
Oct 23, 2025
Oct 23, 2025 at 9:20 PM UTC
the world turned upside down
And i think im still stuck on the ground
Looking around
It’s only my voice
I look up and see the world
Functioning just fine without some useless girl
I feel my insides curl
Because im not worth enough
I think they see me up here
But all they do is laugh and sneer
I think that they’ve made it clear
Im not wanted
When someone sings what i know
I can jump down to earth and put on a show
They will watch me and then they will go
And i float back up
But what’s that in the there
Someone with glossy black hair
And they think we will make the perfect pair
So now i have a friend
We will roam these places
We’ll see peoples smiling faces
And our own smiles will be in our graces
Because we like the outside
Oct 23, 2025
Oct 23, 2025 at 12:17 AM UTC