The sounds of gunfire penetrate our ears,
Ive been training for this day for years,
My trusty steed below me never leaves my mind,
For he knows id never leave him behind,
A clap of thunder bellows the skies,
The glare of fear never leaving our eyes,
My horse is my shield,
The pain that we yield,
Sticking together through fiery fields,
My master is light so its easy to run,
But this journey is far from done,
Bullets have penetrated my side,
Im down on my knees,
Lost all of my pride,
Then he screams out in pain,
My master is dead alone in the rain,
I scramble too my hooves and try to get away,
But its too hard,
All this hurt
All this pain,
The last thing i heard on that dark winters night
Was the flare of a machine gun,
and im out like a light.
Nov 11, 2021
Nov 11, 2021 at 4:44 AM UTC
Gone are the days where grace lay sleepless,
amiss are the thoughts that transpire the grey.
Begotten the creation of hearts now scattered,
the ink forever bleeding as it seeps through the page.
Nights grew colder as time became wrestless,
each second made longer tormented it ticks.
As her face etched with pain becomes petrified with anger,
the lullaby by which grace sleeps once again.
The nouns that she speaks are lucid and scattered,
trembling at the parting of her lips crimson plead.
Thoughts that prolong the way she's left awoken,
sleeping forever as the hours drip away.
Sep 30, 2017
Sep 30, 2017 at 8:19 PM UTC
She paints,
a glorious array of colours spread carefully across the canvass,
profusely creating a story
as though Tim Hughes himself had been handed a brush.
Her longing portrayed in the most painful way,
the bristles soaked in a blood red dye
much like what used to pour from her wrists.
crafting,
building,
The picturesque yet un-ideal images,
in a way only she knows how.
Jul 19, 2015
Jul 19, 2015 at 2:42 PM UTC
Your body is falling in reverse
As your lips start to tremble,
Each touch a whisper in the wind
Each kiss a word not spoken.
Love is that unexplainable gift,
That seems to fall from the stars unchanging,
You get lost in its tight embrace
And your heart is never the same
When they beat you blind and senceless
And your heart turns forever cold,
Your lips cant speak the words
Even though you need to let go.
You long for the pain to stop
Each blow digging you deeper
Into the fear brimmed hole your trapped in
And the pain only lasts
As long as she sees fit.
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 9:00 AM UTC
Time and time again I find myself,
Repeating the words I often let loose,
From my lips of which a million sonnets,
Speak through ashy remains of fire.
Yet here I am again lost in my own mind,
The touch of the wind forcing me to gain a trust,
Between myself and the nature that surrounds,
Its broken beauty seeping through remnants.
Your heart is that of silver,
Expensive but not quite a golden artwork,
As one I would find in the national gallery,
To feast my eyes upon its rituals.
Yet here I sit upon the ground,
As you stand above me with a gaze of a million kisses,
And I wonder what my life would be this day,
If we hadn't crossed paths the next.
I wonder how much damage you have endured,
And then I look back at my own and realise,
I am a broken mess of forgotten dreams,
A hopeless reality shattered by grace.
Yet here I continue to sit,
The goosebumps trailing my arms like snakes,
An analogy that frightens me,
Just as your love scares me to the bone.
Chance after chance,
Time after time,
I run back to your perfect eyes and charming smile,
Because you help me to forget who I really am.
You bring out my smile and banish my selfish ways,
You allow me to remain myself yet different at the same time,
And I cannot help,
But love you...
Aug 20, 2014
Aug 20, 2014 at 6:51 AM UTC
as insanity depicts my pride,
I look at you in a way that I can't look at anyone else,
as you are constantly on my mind,
and the droplets fall in a way like never before.
you're heart encases me,
consuming everything I have within its arteries,
each thought becomes more liquefied,
as I try to stop the pain.
"she wouldn't want you doing this"
I tell myself time and time again,
yet still as the capsule slips past my lips,
I find some kind of release in the burning sensation,
that starts to simmer in my throat.
your eyes, I try to picture your eyes...
yet still you are not here for me to see them in flesh,
one look from you and I would stop,
but one look is something you will not give.
relapse...
a pain that cannot be fathomed by a blade,
as you drag it from your elbow to your wrist.
I was a month clean but I can't help it now,
my body is dead.
Pain is a placid thing,
yet somehow it holds a power over me,
but, when I am with you it seems...
... that the hold it has is simply gone.
I can't seem to rendeer the thoughts of my childhood,
as I continue to do the inevitable,
have I slipped back into my old ways...
... Have I gone too far to go back now.
Relapse...
Relapse...
Relapse...
I am sorry I have let you down,
I am sorry that my callous ways are somewhat spiteful,
I may not have much self esteem,
but I know that I am selfish...
was I selfish in my dealings with you?
in the way I handled your gorgeous smile.
not that I recall..
yet I feel as though I have somehow
left, not to be welcomed back,
into you're arms of grace that make me collapse...
drag me out of this pit
save me from this relapse.
Jun 2, 2014
Jun 2, 2014 at 9:44 AM UTC
if life were really a tree,
mine would be cold,
dead from the frost
the leaves would have fallen
no hint of gold left on there surface
no love
no care
for this tree stands shorter than the rest
its breaths short
quivering in the silent wind
the trunk shrivels,
its bark turned grey
ashy remains through fire
it has burnt its unending river
of scarlet as its trunk is sliced to pieces
all you do is stand and watch
you watch them tear the tree apart
its beauty being lost each second that ticks by
If life were really a tree
you,
are my Tree Surgeon.
Mar 18, 2014
Mar 18, 2014 at 4:58 PM UTC
The endorphins fill my broken mind,
the bleeding does not cease as the relief overwhelms,
my body convulses at the touch of the knife,
but the feeling is one of medication.
My mind is sick,
only to be healed by the small droplets falling from my wrists,
my pills a mixture of pain and happiness,
my heart beats loudly and my body feels weak
nothing will stop the feeling once it has started
no one will make me wish I had never pierced my flesh
my scars tell a tale of great frustration
years of being battered and left aside
My father non existent,
his replacement would make him choke,
without him I would not have spiralled
into this deep dark pit of depression,
he was abusive by nature but that's no excuse,
he ruined me for 16 years and im still ruined now,
left for dead on the side of the highway
a life saving operation I had rather left me dead,
Coming through the other side,
has yet to happen smoothly
and as I watch his evil eyes,
I collapse , never again to open my mouth
Mar 10, 2014
Mar 10, 2014 at 8:57 AM UTC
Transient waves form a helpless beauty,
words are refracted and lost in the dust,
your pain is the last thing in there memory,
your heart cannot take the judgement they throw
no constellations
I am battered and cold
Holding back who I really am,
is not something that is going to come easily,
I want to be different,
but at the same time I want to be the same,
I want to love who I please
and hate who I wish to ignore,
but so it is written these things
are not songs to be sung anymore.
I scream inside my steel chamber,
and rattle the bars that have me enclosed,
tears roll down my face as I realise
my feeling must come to a stop
I cannot do this on my own
I need your help
I cry out to the sky
I feel lonely and helpless,
my tears have gone dry,
I fall down to my knees
I cannot ask for what I need
because I do not yet know what exactly it is...
I cry out to the sky again and again
all to no avail;
my blood cascades in rivers
and my heart is placid and cold,
I need not myself anymore or the demons who have overthrown me
I need a faith more relevant than the truth
I need eyes that will see what is left unseen
I need a heart that is open to be healed and made clean
I want to be your child,
your only love forever and a day more
but God, my life is a painful misery of broken sadness
how can I be good enough for you?
How can I be anywhere near what you expect
as I curse myself and scar my lungs
My breaths become thick and bloodshod
I go lame in the frost
Father, forgive me.
Mar 10, 2014
Mar 10, 2014 at 8:45 AM UTC
Lust is a feeling that we all endure,
pain is a suffering which cannot be ignored,
lift the weight off your shoulders and lay down your strife,
I will listen to you.
My child, put down that knife,
hear my words of wisdom profound,
your body is a temple and will not be torn,
Lay down your life, place it on the ground
For love is not a sin,
and I will pour mine onto you,
my healing salve which utters lyrics,
of sweetest songs on innocent tongues,
you are forgiven of life's mysteries,
For my son gave his life,
fathomed by cruelty,
you are to be helped through the strife,
Poetic words form a helpless beauty,
for which your song must die,
I will give you a new song forever sung,
poured down on you from the sky,
Listen my child and do not boast,
of this love for which I promise,
I cannot tell if you love me most,
or your prized possession, be honest.
Despite your flaws my child I love,
to sing over you each night as you sleep,
My child, put down that knife,
for by my love you must keep.
Droplets of blood form crimson waves,
as you forget to listen for my voice,
but, I will caress your wounds
my child, you have a simple choice
Love yourself as I have loved,
as difficult as it may seem,
and I will reward you with treasures of heaven
at my right hand your made clean.
A Love so infinite and pure,
is the one I wish to give,
my child please don't ignore,
or you will slip through my fingers like a sieve.
Mar 4, 2014
Mar 4, 2014 at 3:21 AM UTC