Rage - Hello Poetry

Art feels like the difference of living and surviving. Maybe that's why my hands are always making. Each pencil pressed against my skin a silent scream for something great. A dream I dare to animate, breath life into. They say to heal trauma is not to become ready to cope with the pain but instead the ability to bear joy again. The life I dream with you feels rebellious. Feels far fetched and delightful. It lights small flames of hope inside me. I am either a fool or living on the edge of what I am capable of. I have breathed life into a co-created dreaming. Tenderly nested and spoke of my love for them. Kissed them until my lipstick wore off. Was drunk in their laughter. I know what it feels like to simply survive. It's a place much easier to rest in then to return to.

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Oct 27, 2024

Oct 27, 2024 at 11:00 PM UTC

Can't cope with thriving after surviving

Art feels like the difference of living and surviving. Maybe that's why my hands are always making. Each pencil pressed against my skin a silent scream for something great. A dream I dare to animate, breath life into. They say to heal trauma is not to become ready to cope with the pain but instead the ability to bear joy again. The life I dream with you feels rebellious. Feels far fetched and delightful. It lights small flames of hope inside me. I am either a fool or living on the edge of what I am capable of. I have breathed life into a co-created dreaming. Tenderly nested and spoke of my love for them. Kissed them until my lipstick wore off. Was drunk in their laughter. I know what it feels like to simply survive. It's a place much easier to rest in then to return to.

1

Art feels like the difference between living and surviving. Maybe that's why my hands are always making. Each pencil pressed against my skin a silent scream for something great. A dream I dared to animate, breathe life into. They say to heal trauma is not to become ready to cope with the pain but instead the ability to bear joy again. The life I dream with you feels rebellious. It feels far-fetched and delightful. It lights small flames of hope inside me. I am either a fool or living on the edge of what I am capable of. I have breathed life into a co-created dream. Tenderly nested and spoke of my love for them. Kissed them until my lipstick wore off. Was drunk in their laughter. I know what it feels like to simply survive. It's a place much easier to rest in than to return to.

0

Aug 25, 2024

Aug 25, 2024 at 10:29 PM UTC

Bearing Joy

Art feels like the difference between living and surviving. Maybe that's why my hands are always making. Each pencil pressed against my skin a silent scream for something great. A dream I dared to animate, breathe life into. They say to heal trauma is not to become ready to cope with the pain but instead the ability to bear joy again. The life I dream with you feels rebellious. It feels far-fetched and delightful. It lights small flames of hope inside me. I am either a fool or living on the edge of what I am capable of. I have breathed life into a co-created dream. Tenderly nested and spoke of my love for them. Kissed them until my lipstick wore off. Was drunk in their laughter. I know what it feels like to simply survive. It's a place much easier to rest in than to return to.

1

That night we wept open Love poured from my eyes You held my heart flooding Even you cried I let love hang like honey Sweet and so pure The next day was different You loved me at my worst Triggered and tangled You held on so tight I fought and was frightened So scared to be right That day I wept open Love poured from my eyes You held my heart flooding Even I cried I let love hang like honey So sweet and so pure Stuck in you love Safe and secure

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Nov 24, 2022

Nov 24, 2022 at 11:02 AM UTC

Love like honey 🍯

That night we wept open Love poured from my eyes You held my heart flooding Even you cried I let love hang like honey Sweet and so pure The next day was different You loved me at my worst Triggered and tangled You held on so tight I fought and was frightened So scared to be right That day I wept open Love poured from my eyes You held my heart flooding Even I cried I let love hang like honey So sweet and so pure Stuck in you love Safe and secure

20

Love is a weighty thing Soft sometimes Always sharp enough to keep you bleeding I always felt the harder you loved The farther the fall The kind of fall that kills you I started imagining the impact before feeling it's warmth I would negotiate with myself "A punch to the face would ease the lonely" I had been choked out by the hands that held me To be touched was not breathing Love is a fist fight inside me Is wreckless abandon Love is a weakness Always being exploited A knife fight And I have nothing left to be taken Love is a weapon Love is a word An empty feeling left unheard Love is a knife fight A weighty thing. Don't ask me to love you, I could never I care for you to much

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Nov 7, 2022

Nov 7, 2022 at 8:26 PM UTC

Love is a knife fight

Love is a weighty thing Soft sometimes Always sharp enough to keep you bleeding I always felt the harder you loved The farther the fall The kind of fall that kills you I started imagining the impact before feeling it's warmth I would negotiate with myself "A punch to the face would ease the lonely" I had been choked out by the hands that held me To be touched was not breathing Love is a fist fight inside me Is wreckless abandon Love is a weakness Always being exploited A knife fight And I have nothing left to be taken Love is a weapon Love is a word An empty feeling left unheard Love is a knife fight A weighty thing. Don't ask me to love you, I could never I care for you to much

25

Some days I am hideously alive Decomposing memories Deeply trenched in manipulation ****** noses and broken hearted… dark circles and scabbed over clotting and bruised Festered wound pushing out poison. Some days I am defective, calloused and weak Some days I am gnawing and farel Less human and more lizard Puckered scars and blistered skin Healing isn't always pretty Some wounds get infected Bones have to be reset… Abscesses drained I survived… But I don't have the same skin You wouldn't recognize me I'm breathing Some days that hurts

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Nov 6, 2022

Nov 6, 2022 at 9:17 PM UTC

Some days

Some days I am hideously alive Decomposing memories Deeply trenched in manipulation ****** noses and broken hearted… dark circles and scabbed over clotting and bruised Festered wound pushing out poison. Some days I am defective, calloused and weak Some days I am gnawing and farel Less human and more lizard Puckered scars and blistered skin Healing isn't always pretty Some wounds get infected Bones have to be reset… Abscesses drained I survived… But I don't have the same skin You wouldn't recognize me I'm breathing Some days that hurts

20

I know how old love turns to torture how your burnt lungs fill with water how rib cage restricts heartbeat how mean you move away I push through old scars and burning houses Try and make something from ruble, ashes soot-stained skin and smeared mascara ocean pouring from my eyes and endless void makes me cry you run from me I am drowning I try to hold on to you I Can't Breathe why don't you just leave. If you sit here so empty anyway just dying to be somewhere else each moment killing me all I want is for you to love me as you use too.

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Aug 23, 2020

Aug 23, 2020 at 12:11 AM UTC

8/22/2020 You make me feel alone

I know how old love turns to torture how your burnt lungs fill with water how rib cage restricts heartbeat how mean you move away I push through old scars and burning houses Try and make something from ruble, ashes soot-stained skin and smeared mascara ocean pouring from my eyes and endless void makes me cry you run from me I am drowning I try to hold on to you I Can't Breathe why don't you just leave. If you sit here so empty anyway just dying to be somewhere else each moment killing me all I want is for you to love me as you use too.

25

I take up space because I am valuable. I say that as I eat and rejoice in my outward growth Delighted in food as it hits my mouth, and how it hugs my body. I say that as I stretch out on the bus Tacking no less room then the man spread that is so recklessly unaware of itself. I say that as I raise my voice refusing silencers His voice will not penetrate an overwhelming truth, no matter how loud he speaks over me I say that as I stand tall, combating the overlooker I sway surly and head held high as I am worthy As I celebrate my ************ Praise the blood that shows my strengths I cast away the thought that a bleeding thing is weak Is it not true that he has been known to bleed too? I take up space because I am valuable Treasured for my thoughts and wholeness I say that as I work out, muscles showing My strength oblivious to the male ego, without fear of being any less of a woman I say that as I challenge myself and others Because meekness was something I was taught, not something that I am. I say that as I refuse to be consumed I am not a product for pleasure I am a human, a consciousness with feeling. I say that as I really am, as a goddess, a queen, an equal An individual with agency and determination As I celebrate my character Praise the misguided for building me up Refuting the idea that blood is shameful Because my womanhood is in part my pride I say that I am valuable very simply, because I am

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Oct 7, 2019

Oct 7, 2019 at 7:38 PM UTC

Woman

I take up space because I am valuable. I say that as I eat and rejoice in my outward growth Delighted in food as it hits my mouth, and how it hugs my body. I say that as I stretch out on the bus Tacking no less room then the man spread that is so recklessly unaware of itself. I say that as I raise my voice refusing silencers His voice will not penetrate an overwhelming truth, no matter how loud he speaks over me I say that as I stand tall, combating the overlooker I sway surly and head held high as I am worthy As I celebrate my ************ Praise the blood that shows my strengths I cast away the thought that a bleeding thing is weak Is it not true that he has been known to bleed too? I take up space because I am valuable Treasured for my thoughts and wholeness I say that as I work out, muscles showing My strength oblivious to the male ego, without fear of being any less of a woman I say that as I challenge myself and others Because meekness was something I was taught, not something that I am. I say that as I refuse to be consumed I am not a product for pleasure I am a human, a consciousness with feeling. I say that as I really am, as a goddess, a queen, an equal An individual with agency and determination As I celebrate my character Praise the misguided for building me up Refuting the idea that blood is shameful Because my womanhood is in part my pride I say that I am valuable very simply, because I am

29

If I could build a future out of yesterdays hope I would have a charming home A quaint oasis that I built from our old love I would have manifested our children From stardust and cat-like curiosity Their chubby toes would point them in the right direction always If I could architect a future out of empty promises I would have more than a deflated reality An image of a home whos outline wavers Ella’s name would not be make-believe Her laughter would have filled my hallways Her eyes would be known and her whole self-cherished If it were possible to make out of what was taken I would make my gate from recycled doors That way I could have privacy While always remembering how to let others in how to stay open I would show you how to blow air into a balloon, we would watch it fill up So you could see that even dreams need something tangible to breathe life into them I wish I could create with the disappointment you filled my life with It is so abundant, it would be so practical it is littered throughout my memory So much of what I am left with I can’t use to build, its ******* I cashed in five years just to realized you were a bad investment If I could build from your lies a home I would spread my capacity for caring softly across the surface of each room, like wallpaper I would remove the hand-painted sign that read "My home is where you are" Because I have proven you are not the essentials needed to make a house a home, I am. Once I was told the universe was nothing and then it became something Maybe this void that holds the space inside of me Where my future plans and dreams dissolved Where a skeleton of my almost family and life died where the plot to build the home that will never be resides Maybe that’s where my big bang can start I need to make something bigger than the life I planned with you Ill turn this nothing into something Just watch me breathe life into my new beginnings see my new home I build when the bricks are not soft-spoken manipulations of the truth but are real bricks that bear weight and hold things up A real home

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Jun 17, 2019

Jun 17, 2019 at 12:57 AM UTC

The home you promised me

If I could build a future out of yesterdays hope I would have a charming home A quaint oasis that I built from our old love I would have manifested our children From stardust and cat-like curiosity Their chubby toes would point them in the right direction always If I could architect a future out of empty promises I would have more than a deflated reality An image of a home whos outline wavers Ella’s name would not be make-believe Her laughter would have filled my hallways Her eyes would be known and her whole self-cherished If it were possible to make out of what was taken I would make my gate from recycled doors That way I could have privacy While always remembering how to let others in how to stay open I would show you how to blow air into a balloon, we would watch it fill up So you could see that even dreams need something tangible to breathe life into them I wish I could create with the disappointment you filled my life with It is so abundant, it would be so practical it is littered throughout my memory So much of what I am left with I can’t use to build, its ******* I cashed in five years just to realized you were a bad investment If I could build from your lies a home I would spread my capacity for caring softly across the surface of each room, like wallpaper I would remove the hand-painted sign that read "My home is where you are" Because I have proven you are not the essentials needed to make a house a home, I am. Once I was told the universe was nothing and then it became something Maybe this void that holds the space inside of me Where my future plans and dreams dissolved Where a skeleton of my almost family and life died where the plot to build the home that will never be resides Maybe that’s where my big bang can start I need to make something bigger than the life I planned with you Ill turn this nothing into something Just watch me breathe life into my new beginnings see my new home I build when the bricks are not soft-spoken manipulations of the truth but are real bricks that bear weight and hold things up A real home

41

She spoke fast and furious over time she saw he never heard it She folded away all her curious slowly tucking them into his jeans pockets button up shirts crisp and ironed her warmth does not come from the dryer So tears welling up inside her if God really did exist then why did he make her like this? destined only to please men They both say her existence no matter her repentance could ever free her from this sentence a second class citizen from the moment of her birth a second class sins again as she dreams of life outside of pleasing him she sins again when she stops fitting in she sins again Shes resenting them For the fire over feminine she thinks at least I am not one of them Shes only happy to not be a man Because she never understands How to hate women the way it demands Hands Strike Match lights Sins again She fights He sighs Sets fire Inside her Watch her burn Says it's God's work

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May 20, 2019

May 20, 2019 at 3:32 PM UTC

fire over feminine

She spoke fast and furious over time she saw he never heard it She folded away all her curious slowly tucking them into his jeans pockets button up shirts crisp and ironed her warmth does not come from the dryer So tears welling up inside her if God really did exist then why did he make her like this? destined only to please men They both say her existence no matter her repentance could ever free her from this sentence a second class citizen from the moment of her birth a second class sins again as she dreams of life outside of pleasing him she sins again when she stops fitting in she sins again Shes resenting them For the fire over feminine she thinks at least I am not one of them Shes only happy to not be a man Because she never understands How to hate women the way it demands Hands Strike Match lights Sins again She fights He sighs Sets fire Inside her Watch her burn Says it's God's work

36

Your fingers trace the door frame, searching until you find me, grouping in the night you flick the switch I feel seen by you light touching all the parts of me usually left unnoticed You see me light up glow exposing all the ways into my thoughts then you flick the switch Darkness hides me and you forget I am there Like the depression that took lights place ate up every thought of me am I even there now? can you even see me? how can you turn your love off like that? Please keep the lights on....

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Apr 17, 2019

Apr 17, 2019 at 1:50 AM UTC

Love me like a light switch

Your fingers trace the door frame, searching until you find me, grouping in the night you flick the switch I feel seen by you light touching all the parts of me usually left unnoticed You see me light up glow exposing all the ways into my thoughts then you flick the switch Darkness hides me and you forget I am there Like the depression that took lights place ate up every thought of me am I even there now? can you even see me? how can you turn your love off like that? Please keep the lights on....

16