QueenofMartyrs - Hello Poetry

I always feel gloomy every 5th of February Must be the idea of growing old In a fast-paced world Seems like a never-ending questioning of Sanity and morals and dignity and fate Surrounded by whispers of longing You just ask if there’s anything left Or is it going to be like this forevermore Unsatisfied, discontented, dissociated, distant Unruly, unkempt, unsure Knowing that it is nothing but another Insignificant year of false hopes Nothing but unread notes Keeping in mind that these should have been Inside a box, thrown in a bottomless pit but No. You just had to creep back. Go back. Stop

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Feb 5, 2024

Feb 5, 2024 at 11:37 AM UTC

Birthday Blues

I always feel gloomy every 5th of February Must be the idea of growing old In a fast-paced world Seems like a never-ending questioning of Sanity and morals and dignity and fate Surrounded by whispers of longing You just ask if there’s anything left Or is it going to be like this forevermore Unsatisfied, discontented, dissociated, distant Unruly, unkempt, unsure Knowing that it is nothing but another Insignificant year of false hopes Nothing but unread notes Keeping in mind that these should have been Inside a box, thrown in a bottomless pit but No. You just had to creep back. Go back. Stop

16

I wasn't prepared for this familiar feeling I was always so certain Always so sure That I have left no more blank page in our book That I have closed for almost two years now And yet This isolation is trying to rekindle what's lost You said you are happy now With her And I said I was happy For you And yet This familiar feeling has kept my mind awake It's 2am now I just want some sleep I just want some rest I just want some solace I just want some of you Yet I know it is wrong to long for you Because then I will need more blank pages to write I will need to open the book But I can't because I am writing yet another love story With yet another protagonist There's no room for another persona There SHOULD be no room for you And yet I have slipped a torn page from our story Between the pages of this new book. I should have thrown it away Like all the memoirs of you And yet I still wasn't prepared for this familiar feeling of Longing.

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Apr 12, 2020

Apr 12, 2020 at 10:59 AM UTC

Blank

I wasn't prepared for this familiar feeling I was always so certain Always so sure That I have left no more blank page in our book That I have closed for almost two years now And yet This isolation is trying to rekindle what's lost You said you are happy now With her And I said I was happy For you And yet This familiar feeling has kept my mind awake It's 2am now I just want some sleep I just want some rest I just want some solace I just want some of you Yet I know it is wrong to long for you Because then I will need more blank pages to write I will need to open the book But I can't because I am writing yet another love story With yet another protagonist There's no room for another persona There SHOULD be no room for you And yet I have slipped a torn page from our story Between the pages of this new book. I should have thrown it away Like all the memoirs of you And yet I still wasn't prepared for this familiar feeling of Longing.

35

Hey stranger, I had gripped your hands hard when we did some waltz You gripped back. The disco lights kissed your face. It had given you the entire floor. The music shifted to upbeat and your dance moves were somehow weird but then I found myself following your steps. I was doing the same weird routine that you just invented. Somehow the beating of my heart imitated the fast paced beat of the song. It was wrong or was it? The DJ switched the music again it was another ballad. We swayed our hearts out. I was lured by your long lashes. I expected someone else tonight. But then there was an impulse. The stories were not yet told and yet I felt bold. It is as if I have known you a long time ago Now, I'm longing for you. It is wrong or is it? The night died. So was our story. Now all I can do is visit that memory of you in my dreams. In my dreams alone where we are a stranger to each other but with feelings that are long known. Tonight, I will be laid to rest. I will play the song that you said you liked. Tonight, I will once again reminisce that night. It was a loose end. It sparked hope for better days. It was nothing but a secret to keep. It was a bittersweet memory. It will forever be an incomplete rhapsody.

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Feb 27, 2019

Feb 27, 2019 at 10:32 AM UTC

Hey Jude

Hey stranger, I had gripped your hands hard when we did some waltz You gripped back. The disco lights kissed your face. It had given you the entire floor. The music shifted to upbeat and your dance moves were somehow weird but then I found myself following your steps. I was doing the same weird routine that you just invented. Somehow the beating of my heart imitated the fast paced beat of the song. It was wrong or was it? The DJ switched the music again it was another ballad. We swayed our hearts out. I was lured by your long lashes. I expected someone else tonight. But then there was an impulse. The stories were not yet told and yet I felt bold. It is as if I have known you a long time ago Now, I'm longing for you. It is wrong or is it? The night died. So was our story. Now all I can do is visit that memory of you in my dreams. In my dreams alone where we are a stranger to each other but with feelings that are long known. Tonight, I will be laid to rest. I will play the song that you said you liked. Tonight, I will once again reminisce that night. It was a loose end. It sparked hope for better days. It was nothing but a secret to keep. It was a bittersweet memory. It will forever be an incomplete rhapsody.

38

You clothe me with your naked soul On a forbidden Monday night We enthrall ourselves with fascinations of an easy traverse Since everything is merely surreal We worry not on the dictations of the world Thus, in the still of the night we ponder upon the thoughts of our bare minds Bare but with no sense of shame nor vulnerability In your arms, oh in those arms I feel nothing but complete serenity You engulf me and that made me feel safe Your sweet caress feeds my silly but profound fantasies You keep me sane with your insanity You are yet another miracle and you came in perfect timing because I desperately needed one You are my escapism From this utterly corrupted world You are my felicity Which I truly long for You are my secret Which I never intend to share Tonight We fall short Tonight We fall in love Tonight We enkindle amidst the darkness Tonight We enflame with burning desire Tonight We cease to exist Tonight We commune to live Tonight We made a mess Tonight We won't mind Tonight You are mine Forever I am yours From this forbidden Monday night to Forevermore.

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Nov 9, 2018

Nov 9, 2018 at 4:55 PM UTC

Chad and Cherries

You clothe me with your naked soul On a forbidden Monday night We enthrall ourselves with fascinations of an easy traverse Since everything is merely surreal We worry not on the dictations of the world Thus, in the still of the night we ponder upon the thoughts of our bare minds Bare but with no sense of shame nor vulnerability In your arms, oh in those arms I feel nothing but complete serenity You engulf me and that made me feel safe Your sweet caress feeds my silly but profound fantasies You keep me sane with your insanity You are yet another miracle and you came in perfect timing because I desperately needed one You are my escapism From this utterly corrupted world You are my felicity Which I truly long for You are my secret Which I never intend to share Tonight We fall short Tonight We fall in love Tonight We enkindle amidst the darkness Tonight We enflame with burning desire Tonight We cease to exist Tonight We commune to live Tonight We made a mess Tonight We won't mind Tonight You are mine Forever I am yours From this forbidden Monday night to Forevermore.

40

He comes back with teary and hopeless eyes telling her that he couldn’t take the situation anymore. Hence, it fueled the flame and so continues that quarrel that was supposed to end last night. He always wanted to leave but he knows he can’t. The sobs, turned into shouts and the time is stopped by her slapping him and leaving a cut in his left cheek. Silence. She sits at the edge of the bed and she started looking at him. Then she realized how cruel life was for the both of them because of the situation they’re in. She starts to reminisce the moments and how those moments ended. Eventually she finds herself alone again, in that small and gloomy bedroom.

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May 19, 2018

May 19, 2018 at 5:21 AM UTC

U

He comes back with teary and hopeless eyes telling her that he couldn’t take the situation anymore. Hence, it fueled the flame and so continues that quarrel that was supposed to end last night. He always wanted to leave but he knows he can’t. The sobs, turned into shouts and the time is stopped by her slapping him and leaving a cut in his left cheek. Silence. She sits at the edge of the bed and she started looking at him. Then she realized how cruel life was for the both of them because of the situation they’re in. She starts to reminisce the moments and how those moments ended. Eventually she finds herself alone again, in that small and gloomy bedroom.

9

In a small and gloomy bedroom, she finds herself alone. She remembers the argument they had last night. Along with glimpses of her memories that show how sweet and tender their love was, is the flashback of that argument. She thinks of the memory of them dancing slowly lost in the rhythm of La Vie En Rose the passion behind each caress the corny but sweet exchange of love notes the dinner dates and the silent nights. She then struggles to keep herself tamed with all of the mixed feelings of despair, anger and longing that she feels. She looks at herself in the mirror and realizes that no matter how bad they fight was, they will still end up in each other’s arms.

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May 19, 2018

May 19, 2018 at 5:18 AM UTC

I

In a small and gloomy bedroom, she finds herself alone. She remembers the argument they had last night. Along with glimpses of her memories that show how sweet and tender their love was, is the flashback of that argument. She thinks of the memory of them dancing slowly lost in the rhythm of La Vie En Rose the passion behind each caress the corny but sweet exchange of love notes the dinner dates and the silent nights. She then struggles to keep herself tamed with all of the mixed feelings of despair, anger and longing that she feels. She looks at herself in the mirror and realizes that no matter how bad they fight was, they will still end up in each other’s arms.

11

Under a mantle of stars were two hearts trying to figure out what could have happened if they could make their own galaxies "I would want a galaxy, still with you and I in it." Heartbeats echoed with laughter Smiles were drawn on each other's face It gave warmth to that one cold night in March. Two falling stars Two falling hearts It was nothing but pure bliss.

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Mar 19, 2018

Mar 19, 2018 at 3:12 PM UTC

Hearts and Stars

Under a mantle of stars were two hearts trying to figure out what could have happened if they could make their own galaxies "I would want a galaxy, still with you and I in it." Heartbeats echoed with laughter Smiles were drawn on each other's face It gave warmth to that one cold night in March. Two falling stars Two falling hearts It was nothing but pure bliss.

11

At least one of us is happy. At least one of use made it pass the broken bridge. Well, I saw your picture today. You gave her a back hug with your wide and bulky arms Those arms that were once my dwelling place Your eyes sparkled as you looked at the lens of the camera It seemed like you had the world in your embrace Then came reminiscence from those loveliest days I didn’t know exactly what I was feeling Was it jealousy? Was it merely pain? Was it regret? Was it longing? My mind wasn’t sure. No, maybe it was my heart that is quite confused Because even if I try to refuse Even if I hide behind the blinds of my ego The scars appeared from the memories of letting you go.

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Feb 16, 2018

Feb 16, 2018 at 1:33 PM UTC

8.13.17

At least one of us is happy. At least one of use made it pass the broken bridge. Well, I saw your picture today. You gave her a back hug with your wide and bulky arms Those arms that were once my dwelling place Your eyes sparkled as you looked at the lens of the camera It seemed like you had the world in your embrace Then came reminiscence from those loveliest days I didn’t know exactly what I was feeling Was it jealousy? Was it merely pain? Was it regret? Was it longing? My mind wasn’t sure. No, maybe it was my heart that is quite confused Because even if I try to refuse Even if I hide behind the blinds of my ego The scars appeared from the memories of letting you go.

18

It's 3am and I found myself staring at my bedroom's ceiling with my blank thoughts just listening to the lullaby of the night. Without my consent, a tear escaped from my left eye. I was hoping that it was just because of the long staring game I had with the ceiling and not because of the loneliness that engulfed me this time of the night nor because of a glimpse of your face paving it's way to the pool of vague musings in my head. That was supposed to be like a shooting star just quickly passing by but it lingers there and now it travels to the depth of my heart trying to unlock more the vault that locks a whole world with all the images of you. I did try to resist but then the more I tried to hold it longer the more visible the pain becomes. So I gave up and ended up drowning with the thoughts of you of us It's 3am and I found myself missing you. I miss you

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Jan 30, 2018

Jan 30, 2018 at 2:43 PM UTC

Solemn and Lonely

It's 3am and I found myself staring at my bedroom's ceiling with my blank thoughts just listening to the lullaby of the night. Without my consent, a tear escaped from my left eye. I was hoping that it was just because of the long staring game I had with the ceiling and not because of the loneliness that engulfed me this time of the night nor because of a glimpse of your face paving it's way to the pool of vague musings in my head. That was supposed to be like a shooting star just quickly passing by but it lingers there and now it travels to the depth of my heart trying to unlock more the vault that locks a whole world with all the images of you. I did try to resist but then the more I tried to hold it longer the more visible the pain becomes. So I gave up and ended up drowning with the thoughts of you of us It's 3am and I found myself missing you. I miss you

16

Tahimik at tila nawalan na ng ganang huminga ang mundo Nakasarado ang mga labing to pero alam kong punong puno ng mga sigaw ng mga hagulgol ng mga mura na pinipilit na hindi makawala Dahil alam ko na kahit ang boses ay maubos hanggang sa tuluyan nang mapaos Hindi mo pa rin pakikinggan Dinadaan nalang ang mga sakit na naipon sa pagsulat sa basang pahinang pinipilit mang pagtagpiin ay tuluyan nang napupunit Gawa ng mga luhang kumakawala sa mga matang bulag Marahang pinapahid dahil sa namamagang pisngi Katulad ng pag-iibigan natin Sa pahinang ito Tuluyan nang nawasak at paunti unti nang naglalaho Nabura na ang tinta at naging malabo na ang mga salitang Mahal na mahal kita Ipipikit nalang ang mga mata para tumigil na Kasabay ang paghaplos sa nanlalamig na espasyo Sa bandang kaliwa ng ating kama Dito dating nakahimlay ang isang nilalang na nagbigay halaga sa kalawakan Ang nagparamdam ng tunay na kahulugan ng buhay at pagmamahal Pinapaniwalang ang pag-iibigan ay tunay at magtatagal Pero mahal Bakit ang mga halik ay napalitan ng mga mura Ang mga yakap ay napalitan ng mga sampal At ang mga matamis na ngiti ay napalitan na ng matalim na mata Nasaan na ang pinangakong walang hanggan? Alam ko kung gaano kasakit ang mawalan Alam ko kung paano mawasak ang mundo ng isang iniwan Pero alam mo ba kung ano yung pinakamasakit? Magkatabi tayo at magkadikit ang mga balikat Walang matitirang espasyo sa gitna dahil sa liit ng higaan Pero hindi ko maramdaman na nariyan ka Mali.. Alam kong andiyan ka pero alam ko rin na ang pagmamahal mo ay naglaho na Sabi nila masakit makita ang mahal **** may kasamang iba o hanggang kaibigan lang ang tingin niya o wala na siyang ibang nabanggit kundi ang isang taong ayaw sa kanya Putang ina Hindi nila alam na mas masakit ang nararamdaman ng isang tangang katulad ko Na pinipilit pinapaniwala ang sariling mahal mo pa ako Mas masakit yun Mahal hindi mo ba nakikita ang mga mapuputlang labi na minsan mo nang nahagkan? Hindi mo ba naririnig ang mga hikbi na pinipilit kong itago pero hinihila pa rin palabas ng pighati? Hindi mo ba nararamdaman kung gaano kita kamahal, kung gaano ako kahangal? Gusto ko lang naman pakinggan mo ako Gusto kong malaman mo na ayoko na Na kahit ayoko na ay ayoko pa Ayoko pang bumitaw Dahil natatakot akong maligaw Sa paniniwalang ang iyong palad ang gabay sa mundo kong minsan nang naging bughaw Ayoko pang mawalay sayo Ayoko pang ako’y iwan mo Tawagin mo na akong tanga, gaga, boba Pero Mahal kita Pero Ayoko na Ayoko na sana Sana pigilan mo ako sa pagtangka kong pagbitaw Pigilan mo sa pagsulat muli sa mga basang pahina dahil huli na to Halikan ang mga nakasaradong labi nang mapalitan ang mga mura ng mahal Mahal kita Oo na hanggang sa huli Kahit matagal nang sinasabi ng mga mata, labi at puso ko At nakasulat sa huling basang pahina na ito Na Ayoko pa, mahal ayoko na.

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Jan 26, 2018

Jan 26, 2018 at 10:07 AM UTC

Huling Basang Pahina

Tahimik at tila nawalan na ng ganang huminga ang mundo Nakasarado ang mga labing to pero alam kong punong puno ng mga sigaw ng mga hagulgol ng mga mura na pinipilit na hindi makawala Dahil alam ko na kahit ang boses ay maubos hanggang sa tuluyan nang mapaos Hindi mo pa rin pakikinggan Dinadaan nalang ang mga sakit na naipon sa pagsulat sa basang pahinang pinipilit mang pagtagpiin ay tuluyan nang napupunit Gawa ng mga luhang kumakawala sa mga matang bulag Marahang pinapahid dahil sa namamagang pisngi Katulad ng pag-iibigan natin Sa pahinang ito Tuluyan nang nawasak at paunti unti nang naglalaho Nabura na ang tinta at naging malabo na ang mga salitang Mahal na mahal kita Ipipikit nalang ang mga mata para tumigil na Kasabay ang paghaplos sa nanlalamig na espasyo Sa bandang kaliwa ng ating kama Dito dating nakahimlay ang isang nilalang na nagbigay halaga sa kalawakan Ang nagparamdam ng tunay na kahulugan ng buhay at pagmamahal Pinapaniwalang ang pag-iibigan ay tunay at magtatagal Pero mahal Bakit ang mga halik ay napalitan ng mga mura Ang mga yakap ay napalitan ng mga sampal At ang mga matamis na ngiti ay napalitan na ng matalim na mata Nasaan na ang pinangakong walang hanggan? Alam ko kung gaano kasakit ang mawalan Alam ko kung paano mawasak ang mundo ng isang iniwan Pero alam mo ba kung ano yung pinakamasakit? Magkatabi tayo at magkadikit ang mga balikat Walang matitirang espasyo sa gitna dahil sa liit ng higaan Pero hindi ko maramdaman na nariyan ka Mali.. Alam kong andiyan ka pero alam ko rin na ang pagmamahal mo ay naglaho na Sabi nila masakit makita ang mahal **** may kasamang iba o hanggang kaibigan lang ang tingin niya o wala na siyang ibang nabanggit kundi ang isang taong ayaw sa kanya Putang ina Hindi nila alam na mas masakit ang nararamdaman ng isang tangang katulad ko Na pinipilit pinapaniwala ang sariling mahal mo pa ako Mas masakit yun Mahal hindi mo ba nakikita ang mga mapuputlang labi na minsan mo nang nahagkan? Hindi mo ba naririnig ang mga hikbi na pinipilit kong itago pero hinihila pa rin palabas ng pighati? Hindi mo ba nararamdaman kung gaano kita kamahal, kung gaano ako kahangal? Gusto ko lang naman pakinggan mo ako Gusto kong malaman mo na ayoko na Na kahit ayoko na ay ayoko pa Ayoko pang bumitaw Dahil natatakot akong maligaw Sa paniniwalang ang iyong palad ang gabay sa mundo kong minsan nang naging bughaw Ayoko pang mawalay sayo Ayoko pang ako’y iwan mo Tawagin mo na akong tanga, gaga, boba Pero Mahal kita Pero Ayoko na Ayoko na sana Sana pigilan mo ako sa pagtangka kong pagbitaw Pigilan mo sa pagsulat muli sa mga basang pahina dahil huli na to Halikan ang mga nakasaradong labi nang mapalitan ang mga mura ng mahal Mahal kita Oo na hanggang sa huli Kahit matagal nang sinasabi ng mga mata, labi at puso ko At nakasulat sa huling basang pahina na ito Na Ayoko pa, mahal ayoko na.

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