appreciation post for my beloved and dearest father, who let me light scented candles whenever I felt like it.
my precious papa who loved dark chocolate only because his daughter loved it.
my darling daddy, whose quiet love I feel more deeply with every passing day.
Jul 1, 2020
Jul 1, 2020 at 9:58 AM UTC
One day, you and I,
We're going to learn to smile again.
One day, you and I,
We're going to learn to love again.
One day, you and I,
We're going to find a reason to live again.
Aug 28, 2017
Aug 28, 2017 at 2:47 AM UTC
If the world keeps pulling me down,
Then should I just let myself drown?
Aug 10, 2017
Aug 10, 2017 at 3:13 AM UTC
I watched the ghosts of people walk around me,
Pieces of what they used to be,
Memories scattered around,
Hearts broken and stamped on in the crowd of the world.
I watched them slip away into the emptiness,
One by one as they turned,
And walked away, not once looking back,
As they faded into the twilight world of illusions.
I heard the echoes that day,
Of sounds that no longer existed,
Of love so rare that it seemed forbidden,
I looked up at the haunting night sky,
Street lights illuminating in the dark,
As a deathly hush fell over the entire city,
I drowned in the labyrinth of memories once again,
Surrounded by a mist of,
Shadows aching to be real once more.
Feb 13, 2017
Feb 13, 2017 at 2:43 AM UTC
In the end it was the tortured silence that led me to the asylum.
Demons were winning,
I had no power to fight,
They thought I was crazy,
“Send her to an asylum now.”
They’d all turn away as I walked down the hall,
And as soon as I left the whispers would start.
They’d look at my wrists no matter how swiftly I pulled down my sleeves,
And whenever anybody looked at me their eyes held accusations
Rumors, Jokes, Gossips,
Became the daily routine of stabs in my heart,
Sleeves grew longer, hair grew shorter,
Lies became the constant thing, and the truth faded away,
Leaving the constant hum of static.
Heart was broken, nobody cared,
My sobs grew softer as I buried my voice.
I was choking on my words,
And writing them down was the only option left,
One option, no choice.
The gossips grew louder,
It finally wore me down,
They said I felt guilty because I broke his heart,
But, they were all wrong,
He had broken my heart, so I had broken my soul,
The word ‘broken’ became overused.
My laugh became more hopeless than my sobs,
Knife in my hand, positioned at my chest,
My aching heart wasn’t hard to find,
Silence became louder, heart was bruised,
Crushed into pieces no superglue could fix,
*Tell me, who’ll be kind enough to **** me now?*
Nov 11, 2016
Nov 11, 2016 at 9:29 AM UTC
One last cut,
For all the times I thought that
the girl behind the scrawled art, bruised heart and
the boy with the sad eyes, beautiful lies could have a
happy ending.
Nov 9, 2016
Nov 9, 2016 at 1:48 PM UTC
Ink, ink, ink,
It was the same ink which wrote those notes, we passed in class,
I’d read them, my hair a curtain round my face,
Hiding the feelings my face would betray.
Ink, ink, ink,
It was the same ink which wrote those love letters stashed carefully under a comer of my bed.
You’d read them, a light smile playing on your lips, in your eyes I’d see my words and
I’d fall in love with you all over again.
Ink, ink, ink,
It was the same ink that wrote those poems in my notebook,
The ones you’d pretend you couldn’t see.
I’d read them again and again,
And each time I’d find a sadder meaning behind each line.
And you have to believe me I’d never do all of this just for attention.
Ink, ink, ink,
It was the same ink that wrote those dreadful, melancholy lines you’d hear people talking about in the hallways.
I’d sit in a corner of the washroom sobbing till I couldn’t breathe,
Then wash my face, erasing all the evidence off my face that my eyes couldn’t hide.
They’d look at me and ignore my pain, cuz u know people they’d rather believe the lies than hear the truth.
Ink, ink, ink,
And finally it was the same ink that wrote that suicide note I kept on the rack. I read it one last time before finally walking away, slipping and drowning into the water.
But this time I didn’t try to fight back.
I SANK, I SURRENDERED, I SLEPT.
Nov 7, 2016
Nov 7, 2016 at 12:47 PM UTC
I cried, I smiled,
I screamed, I tried,
My final choice,
Cut a little deeper or
Ingest a whole bottle.
A bullet through my skull or a
Rope around my neck.
So many options
But, I only got one choice.
Nov 7, 2016
Nov 7, 2016 at 12:34 PM UTC
I’m still waiting for you,
I’m still waiting
for you to tell me
this isn’t
t r u e.
Nov 7, 2016
Nov 7, 2016 at 12:33 PM UTC