The Warden tells us day after day,
That God watches over us and we are his children.
But I believe that God is not here anymore,
And when he was he didn’t really like what he saw.
Because I believe he saw war and conflict and rebellion,
I believe he saw power-hungry tyrants and flexible children.
I believe he saw in summary, hell and didn’t think much more,
So he turned his back on the tunnels, and all the vulnerable children too.
The Elders are supposed to represent the many faces of our Lord,
But when I see them, I see God as greedy, stupid, drunk and childish.
I see God as a fat, old man with balding hair and beady eyes,
A God who maybe lost his purpose quite a long while ago.
So day after day, I get up and I carry,
My big bag of corn to the mouldy Big Hall,
I nod to the Elders and I sing to the littles,
And every day, I push back the thought of Satan in my mind.
Because instead of God, I believe in life,
In hardships that come at every price,
At unfair outcomes directed at the weak,
And survival of the fittest haunting every child’s nightmares.
But maybe now, I’ve written too far,
I’ve thought about this for far too long,
Now, it’s habit to nod and smile,
Instead of screaming to the storms about my despair.
So every day, I wake up at 7 on the dot,
Get ready for work and set off with a trot,
I whistle my tune and I do what needs doing,
All the while not thinking of what bad things I am pursuing.
Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 9:39 AM UTC
some people call me crazy,
i call myself a human,
the funny thing is, a crazy dog is called a rabid dog, a crazy horse is called a horse on cr**k but im just called crazy.
isn't that funny?
Apr 15
Apr 15, 2026 at 12:55 PM UTC
A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that music
Used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And maybe they'd be happy for a while
But February made me shiver
With every paper I'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died
[Chorus]
So, bye-bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry
And them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die"
[Verse 2]
Did you write the book of love?
And do you have faith in God above
If the Bible tells you so?
Now, do you believe in rock 'n' roll?
Can music save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?
Well, I know that you're in love with him
'Cause I saw you dancin' in the gym
You both kicked off your shoes
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues
I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died
[Chorus]
I started singin' bye-bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
And singin', "This'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die"
[Verse 3]
Now, for ten years, we've been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin' stone
But that's not how it used to be
When the jester sang for the king and queen
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean
And a voice that came from you and me
Oh, and while the king was looking down
The jester stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned
No verdict was returned
And while Lenin read a book on Marx
The quartet practiced in the park
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died
[Chorus]
We were singin' bye-bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry
Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
And singin', "This'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die"
Mar 24
Mar 24, 2026 at 5:44 AM UTC
those dark nights where lamposts illuminate the almost-silence,
those lowrise 2000's jeans that definitely don't fit you again,
those friendships where you can do anything,
be anything, and feel anything,
those realities,
are the most dangerous.
Mar 23
Mar 23, 2026 at 1:10 PM UTC
Wallflower Girl.
I’m a wallflower, I understand. I see things that people miss out on,
Like when my friend from swimming lost her earring and I was the one who dove deep into the pool to find it.
But I also mean when in Year 6, the boy I used to dream about since Year 3 came in with a new catchphrase and later in Year 6 I finally found out who he was trying to impersonate, and laughed.
I’m a wallflower and I’ve read about others. I see people on the bus, road or in their cars and study them until I figure out where they are going and why.
But if I was going into the Squid Games, and they asked me what Evan’s favourite colour was I’d be able to tell you, or why Mr Hartley had a mullet even though he was a grown man reaching 38. I’d be able to tell you why Madison and Holly were always considered the best of friends, even if they don’t see the trauma it causes.
I’d be able to tell you the colour of the sky when Alfie chucked his lunchbox on the roof, or when we ran as fast as we can to avoid being labelled as the kid dating the freak. I’d be able to tell you how sad I felt when everyone found out about me and Aidan or when Alfie rejected me on the third day of school. I’d be able to tell you whether Daniel really cared when he told me he “kind of likes” me. Or when Evan signed my sweaty Year 6 Leavers shirt in his messy writing but my heart stopped beating anyway.
I’m a wallflower and that’s why I notice things so much. I understand when people don’t, and maybe that’s why I am hated so much. For noticing.
But if there was one thing I could ask of my life, I would ask to re-do. I would march into that disgustingly hot Year 3 classroom on test day Wednesday and finish the test before everyone else.
I wouldn’t trust Ember instead I would make friends with Louis and Freddy and when Louis complimented my writing I would thank him and smile.
I would ignore Aidan and talk to Alfie and hear the funny stories that I was not there to experience but were funny anyway.
I would like my teachers and in Year 4, I would finally have the courage to sit next to Alfie and Louis and his friends in the hall. I’d beg Mum for packed lunches so I would skip the rush to get a good seat.
I’d be happy for Mikaela even if she didn’t deserve Evan. And in Year 5, I would acknowledge Evan a lot more and he would have a crush on me. Then one day, I would tell him and it’s up to him how he would reply. Then he would break up with Mikaela and all the girls will hate me but that will be okay because I won’t see them in high school.
In Year 6, I would leave Mr Hartley alone. I wouldn’t answer that much and still write quirky things that make them want to throw up but I wouldn’t talk too much. Mrs Chaudhuri would be my go-to TA and I would talk to Kiran about things like this.
But now, I’m in Year 8 and my whole childhood feels messed up and awkward. But I’m a wallflower and I can’t change that. Maybe I needed to be more of one not less of one. And if I could go back in time and do one thing to everyone in my class that I remember I would:
Holly– Talk to her. Say sorry for the things that happened in primary school.
Madison – Two words, slap her. She was horrible to me and embarrassed me a lot.
Daisy – Hug her. She was my best friend.
Freddy – Smile and wave at him or wish him luck in school.
Louis – Hug him. Thanking him for trying to be my friend, even if he didn’t mean to.
Carter – Wish him luck at Nightingale Academy.
Rory – Tell him that I’ve moved and to still look out for that haunted house.
Toby – Tell him to stay away from Malina and don’t tell her anything about me.
Stevie – Probably slap him too.
Alfie – Say goodbye to him and wish him luck, and maybe hug him?
Evan – Probably laugh with him about something, and definitely hug him.
The fact is, I will never see any of these people ever again. Ever. And that sort of relief is refreshing but my regret grows deeper.
I’m a wallflower girl, there are certain ups and downs to it. You don’t always have to be perfect and your actions show for that but nevertheless noticing things and thinking deeply about things is never going to be a bad thing.
It’s a gift.
Jan 21
Jan 21, 2026 at 1:55 PM UTC